Crush
So I lied when I said I wasn't sure if I liked the guy or not. I do. I really do. I think I like to take myself out of the game when I feel like I'm losing i.e. him not paying me enough attention. It's most definitely a defense mechanism. I don't want to feel hurt if he doesn't like me so I'll make up any excuse to make myself feel better why it's not working out. I said last entry that he's not my ideal type, I don't think I like him that way, etc. All lies. Sure we all have our types but if I like somebody, that all goes out the window. I can find something about anybody and like it and the attraction grows from there.
I've been getting a little frustrated with him b/c we've been having a lot of awkward moments. Like I see him comfortable with everyone else but when we talk sometimes it's little stuttery or slight pauses. I was thinking maybe it's me because that's usually the case but it seems to be both. I always forget that the other person can lose their cool too. I am super friendly so I always say hi and try to start up conversation when I can. A friend told me too play it cool and not sweat him. ugh I hate playing games! Why can't I just talk to a boy and show I like them and have them like me back. If only it were that easy. I think he likes me but I don't know...
I've been getting a little frustrated with him b/c we've been having a lot of awkward moments. Like I see him comfortable with everyone else but when we talk sometimes it's little stuttery or slight pauses. I was thinking maybe it's me because that's usually the case but it seems to be both. I always forget that the other person can lose their cool too. I am super friendly so I always say hi and try to start up conversation when I can. A friend told me too play it cool and not sweat him. ugh I hate playing games! Why can't I just talk to a boy and show I like them and have them like me back. If only it were that easy. I think he likes me but I don't know...
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