Random musings about pirates
My Review for Pirates... it is rather long. I will warn before spoiling.
After seeing PotC 3 three separate times this weekend (twice in theatres and once on the computer) one would think that I have come to a definite conclusion on the movie. But alas my mind keeps going back and forth. I'm trying to decide if remaking the first one with more visuals and less creativity is worth it. The first movie in the series is wonderfully creative and intelligent, both the second and the third have no creative jokes or gags they just reuse ones from the first movie, which is disappointing. I think that might be the biggest problem. Each semi funny character that is in the first movie pops up in the third doing exactly what they did in the first movie, but the audience still laughs at the same gags. I swear if I heard about the run being gone, sea turtles, slapping, or they thanked the damn monkey Jack one more time I was going to scream. Maybe people don't want change. The biggest laugh probably came from the stupid monkey. All three movies have the same plot--- Will and Elizabeth are separated, there is a battle scene within the first 20 minutes, Jack makes an impressive entrance, a middle battle scene---then two at the end, all while Jack is deceiving everyone and throughly confusing us, while Will whines and Elizabeth gets hit on by a bunch of pirates. Nothing is different from the first one except that it is not original anymore. The beauty about most triologies is that the movie actually reinventes itself, but PotC does not. The story continues, but the plot is the same (however confusing it may be).
That being said I loved it. I know this might confuse people, because of my rampant bashing of the movie both during and immediately following the movie (which is because of the what I like to call---"Are you shitting me???" moments in the movie, which I will list later) The movie is by far better than the second one, because it is darker and somehow it feels more real. What elevates the movie is actually; Orlando Bloom (yeah don't ask, I can't believe I'm saying it) and Geoffrey Rush. Orlando actually isn't bad in this movie; which is ridiculous, because as I'm writing this I'm watching the second one and god he is awful. His performance in AWE is strangely subtle (which again can't believe I'm saying it), and much more mature, in all honesty I think he kinda steals the movie, with the help of Barbosa.
The biggest problem, besides the strange moments and reuse of gags is that the characters are basically never in the same room. Will is hardly with the rest of the cast. Keira is with the pirates from Singapore, and Jack might be on the same ship as Barbosa, but they have little interaction. Actually Capt. Jack does not feel like the main character in this film, which he should be. Johnny is what made the first one and the second, but he is overpowered in the third film. What saves the film is the fact that it is amazingly shot, creative battle sequences, the actors' grasp of their characters, the dark themes that are completely opposite of that campy, pathetic excuse for a second movie (excluding the great Jack Davenport), and the final scene.
After rewatching all the movie this weekend, thought I'd readjust my grades and give you exactly what I think of all of them.
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl: A
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest: C+
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End: B
Spoiler time
I wanna bitch no matter how much I liked it. Here's my list of grivences
1. Johnny's rescue from Davy Jones' locker was sooooo anti-climatic. The greatest part of the previous movies is that great Capt. Jack entrance. This one pales in comparison to either (first it is his nose??? and then he enters the same way as he did in the first one) Then once the whole gang gets there to rescue him nothing happens. I guess they wanted to leave more for later in the movie, but Jack is coming back from the dead surely they could of come up with something better than rocking the ship to get a green light and the Black Pearl being pulled out of the sand by crabs??
2. The monkey should die.
3. Chow Yung Fat's story was unnecessary. Something in this movie had to be taken out, this story should have been much smaller, so that we could focus on the Brethern Court rather than the ridiculous stuff with Elizabeth being captain after he died waaaaay too soon. I understand why the story is there, but something needed to be restructured so that either he was more of a key, because too much time is wasted on his story for sooo little. The Bretheren Court should have been more central than it was.
4. The beginning scene is hauntely disturbing, but why the kid. I loved the idea of the song, and how it reverberated throughout the entire film's music was beautiful, but why that kid? The hangings were disturbing enough. It just makes it less of a kids movie--- which is fine with me, but kids are gonna go no matter what
5. The whole God crap. Calypso was ridiculous and unecessary. I for one didn't care who Davy Jones loved, and yes the story brought back Barbosa and Jack, but the God didn't HAVE to be Davy Jones' love. Again wasted time and took away from scenes Capt. Jack. Plus her growing to be like like 500 feet high was dumb. She woulda sank the boat.
6. Good angel/bad angel: wow could we find a more overused cliche to stick in this movie, again pointless, not funny and dumb.
7. Overuse of past characters. The two guards in the first movie are the guards in the 3rd. not needed.
8. While stupid characters got great treatment, Norrington and Governor Swann were shafted. It was nearly pointless to have Jonathan Price or Jack Davenport in this movie. Poor Norrington.
9. The OBVIOUS setting up for PotC 4, lame. It should have been a definite ending. Instead we have Pirates of the Caribbean 4: The Search for the Fountain of Youth. LAME.