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[sparklyremarks]

Lately I feel detached. Completely.
I feel like I'm trying to find my way in the dark with no light to help my way out.

I feel alone in a crowded room.

I feel like everyone is there to help but I can't bring myself to tell any of my feelings.

I feel unheard.

Last summer I went through a bunch of things that changed my life completely

Comments

[bloodyxmurder]

I love LiveJournal! I still write in mine from time to time. It's good because no one reads it anymore but I'll never give up on mine. Fucking old school 8)
It's okay to be weak sometimes you know. And it's okay to be vulnerable, too. I also know it's okay to not know what the fuck is going on and to take life one day at a time. Mine is more one minute at a time.
The world isn't relying on you for strength and happiness so forget about that. If you're trying to be strong for anyone but yourself, it's going to wear on you.
If Texas isn't really fitting, maybe you should leave. You can't force things and I'm sure the people there are similar to old friends but nothing compares to the ones you already have.
Last Spring/Summer was a really good time. I got to get close to you and be a true friend, not just an acquaintance and even when you got sad or upset, I still wanted to be your friend!
Maybe the reason you've never felt truly understood is because it was your doing. If you put up that wall, no one is going to get through it no matter how hard they try. I've tried and failed. I'm sure a lot have.
You and I may not be as close as you and Becca for example but I still care. Even if we don't talk every day and you don't share very personal things, I still consider you a close friend. If you want to keep that wall up, that's fine. It used to hurt my feelings when you wouldn't want to even cry in front of me or tell me what was wrong when I knew there was but I can understand that you can't feel comfortable around just anyone.
I've known you for a long time and I've seen you go through a lot but always from a distance. You deserve to be happy (yes, you do) and I want to see that happen for you. I really hope you find what you are looking for. I think Jared was the first step in the right direction and he is just the first of many great things to come into your life.
I love you

When I said..

[sparklyremarks]

There were two people, I was considering you one of those two.
Sam being the other.

You were there for me, no matter what. You picked up the phone and hung out with me, making much of the last few months I was there a blast. And I appriciate you for that.

I also really appriciate the fact that you took the time out of your day to write this to me.

And when you say it could be my doing, I underdstand completley. I've thought about it on many different occasions and I've come to the conclusion it takes more than one to tango.

I enjoyd reading this and also, as frustrated as I sound in this rant, I enjoyed writing it. It made me feel a lot better about my current situation.

And I agree, Live Journal is deffinitely the place to do something like this without having to worry about what thousands of other people will have to say to it.

I just want you to know, I've always looked up to you, as much as I don't want to admit I've looked up to anyone. Hah! But you've been there through a lot like you said and I recoignize that.

I was going to put down names but I decided to leave them out. It's not anyones buisiness but mine really.