D*I*V*O*R*C*E
Well, my divorce is final. Strange, I feel the oddest combination of relief and loss. I suppose that's pretty normal but it's like someone finally put the period at the end of a very long sentence. That's it. No more.
It was seventeen years. Seventeen years of laughter and tears, fun and fear, joy and sorrow, hope and disappointment. Now it's over. It's not as though I thought we'd get back together or anything. That wouldn't have been good for either of us, but now I'm single again on paper. It's a blow and I should have been expecting it.
I loved him so much. Built my world around him. Let him be my sun and I thought I was the moon. Turns out I was just another cloud in the sky, crossing the blue expanse until the horizon destroyed me. I didn't think I could go on after that... but I did. But for now I am rain.
One of my friends once told me that as long and he and I were together then she knew all was right with the world. Felt that way to me too. Now I don't have a measuring stick to gage my life against. But, as with all changes, patience often brings a new way of seeing things and I know I will one day have another way of making my world safe and secure.
I'll give myself this day to mourn but I refuse to wallow in self pity for too long. It's just unhealthy.
It was seventeen years. Seventeen years of laughter and tears, fun and fear, joy and sorrow, hope and disappointment. Now it's over. It's not as though I thought we'd get back together or anything. That wouldn't have been good for either of us, but now I'm single again on paper. It's a blow and I should have been expecting it.
I loved him so much. Built my world around him. Let him be my sun and I thought I was the moon. Turns out I was just another cloud in the sky, crossing the blue expanse until the horizon destroyed me. I didn't think I could go on after that... but I did. But for now I am rain.
One of my friends once told me that as long and he and I were together then she knew all was right with the world. Felt that way to me too. Now I don't have a measuring stick to gage my life against. But, as with all changes, patience often brings a new way of seeing things and I know I will one day have another way of making my world safe and secure.
I'll give myself this day to mourn but I refuse to wallow in self pity for too long. It's just unhealthy.