Angels on the Moon [3/11]
part one - part two
'angels on the moon'
piece three: secret life pt. one
"You speak to me- you speak to me in riddles,
And you speak to me in riddles
Puts on her face like breathing
Another day in black and red
Coat is old, car seats freezing
And a radio that just won't play
Is something on your mind?
Answer cold as ice she said
Tell me about your secret life"
Alisha wasn't really sure what to make of the present Simon. Half the time he was nervous and blustering, but the other half it was like he knew what she was thinking. She thanked whatever being there was out there, that he had not been given the ability to read minds. Then she's really be in some shit, because it had been hard enough keeping Kelly from discovering her secret, though she knew Kelly suspected them of something.
Simon wasn't exactly the easiest bloke to get to know, but she had known that from the moment she had begun to practically stalk him. Some days she wonders if the Simon from the future knew what this mind fuckery of time travel and death would do to her. How did he know that she was strong enough to survive it? Because he knew her, more than she could ever imagine. She would, in all probability, give everything to Simon.
It was around ten o' clock when she received a text from Nathan. Usually she ignored them, because Nathan was a notorious dickhead, and she didn't ever feel like dealing with him, especially since he harassed Simon all the fucking time.
'we r goin out. all of us fuckers we killed a goddamn probation worker. we're in this shit for life.'
She read the message over and wondered how Nathan could manage to be just as uncaring and irritating over text as he could in real life. He had a point, though; they really were in it for life. From the moment that Tony's heart stopped beating, they had been banded together for life. Really, for her, it started during that freak storm.
In some ways, she felt that they would be the only people who would ever understand her. They were all her best friends-even fucking Nathan. So instead of pretending she didn't get the message, she rolled off the bed she had once shared with the man that she loved.
It wasn't hard to figure out which pub they'd be going to, seeing as it was the only place they ever went. However, it was a bit of a walk for her, which she didn't particularly mind, but if she'd learned anything from his death, it was how vulnerable humans all were. She hated that Nathan would never die, while she had watched everything she had ever loved literally burn before her eyes.
Before her hand was on the door handle, she felt her hand vibrate with her phone. She looked down, blinking at the screen when it said Simon in bright red letters. She didn't even think before she hit the 'read now' option.
'Would you like to walk to the pub together?'
She smiled fondly at the phone, because it was just so Simon to type with proper grammar and spelling. Her heart swelled at the thought of walking with him, maybe touching him. She hadn't seen him since the night that she had told him about Superhoodie. It had worried her that he might not be interested in her anymore, probably thought that she was fucking insane.
She quickly lifted her fingers to the keys, having no time for proper grammar.
'sure :)'
'I'm outside your flat. Come out when you're ready. I'll be waiting.'
She felt like some idiot primary school girl, getting all worked up and flushed over a bloody text message, but it was Simon. He made everything her life just go fucking haywire whenever he so much as looked at her. So she swallowed her nerves, pulling the door open quickly to insure that she would see his face that much quicker.
He was waiting, just as he said, wearing his usual nice trousers, but tonight he donned an orange hoodie. Alisha felt her knees go week, because she had that exact hoodie sitting on her bed at this moment. He had even seen her wear it. What a mind fuck time travel was, it was just far too complicated for her. It made sense that Simon would be the one to try it, he was always fucking mysterious.
"Hey." She said happily, shooting a smile his way before catching up to the place that he stood, watching her.
His eyes were the same beautiful shade of blue that she remembered. She could still feel them on her from before, where the future version of the boy in front of her, had pressed his body on top of her. She knew she was probably flushing by that point.
"Hey. Uh, you ready?" He asked, causing her to see the flicker of insecurity in his face as he watched her walk towards the main street up ahead.
"I like your jacket." She spoke after a few seconds of awkward silence. As soon as the words left her mouth she cringed. Why did he always make her say the stupidest shit? But Simon didn't seem to mind, as she watched the corners of his mouth turn up into his signature smile.
"Thanks. I bought it today." He smiled over at her, "I, uh, thought I could use a bit of color." He smirked then, and she knew why. If there was one thing she knew everything about when it came to Simon, it was his body. It had been awkward at first because she couldn't look at him without thinking, 'I've seen you naked. I know what your cock looks like for fuck's sake.' But that had worn off now, she thought it was weird that she didn't find it strange anymore, but she and Simon never were normal.
"I know. You look like you don't even know what the fucking sun is!" She laughed, shoving his shoulder. He just laughed with her, a bizarre noise because Simon never laughed. Only with her, she realized, he only laughed when she was around.
"Well, Curtis and Nathan are bare-chested enough for the rest of us." He said awkwardly, causing her to smile, because she knew that he might not be it now, but in the future he was much more defined than the other two.
"I'm sure you look just as good. But you might blind us all." She giggled, as he looked over at her and did a very un-Simon like thing; he stuck his tongue out at her. It was such a beautiful moment for her to see him grow into the man she knew, if only by a tiny amount.
"I guess you would know." He said quietly, looking over at her, almost shyly. "We… we had sex, didn't we? Well... not me and you, obviously, but you and him." He stuttered out, in a way that seemed almost scared of her reaction.
However, all Alisha could do was smile softly at the memory of Simon's arms around her, touching her, completing her. How gentle he always was, always; his lips and how the set her skin on fire in a way that she had never known before.
"Yeah. He warned me about Jessica, err, you two shagging, I mean." She grimaced, not wanting to upset him. He just nodded, his face reforming into that irritating mask void of all emotion. "It sort of drove me crazy. Seeing you get it on with another girl. Fucking stupid, I know, 'cause you didn't even know." She sighed.
His face was screwed up into a look of someone trying to figure out a complex puzzle. "But you didn't stop me. You let us…" He spoke uneasily, looking over at her, a kind of pain searing her heart at his total lack of understanding.
"I had to. You needed that experience to make you… you. I couldn't take it away from you. At that point, you couldn't touch me." She breathed, hating how true it was, how utterly jealous she was.
They had reached the pub, Simon being ever the gentleman, stepped out to open the door for her. She smiled at him, thinking about how Curtis never opened doors for her. Then again, there really was no comparison there. She loved Simon, both versions, and Curtis wasn't really her scene anymore.
"Oi! There ya are, Barry!" Alisha rolled her eyes at the sound of Nathan's voice, but smiled at Kelly, sending a wave to where she stood, chatting up some bloke. Hopefully this one didn't turn out to be a gorilla, because they had enough fucked up shit in their lives.
Simon slipped away from her side causing a slight twinge of hurt within her. It was hard to remember that he wasn't hers. He wasn't really him yet. She watched him, though, as she asked the bartender for a drink. She watched as he made his way to Nathan.
Then someone she never wanted to see again stepped out in front of Simon, Nathan was grinning, which told her straight away that this was without doubt his idea. Jessica gave Simon an awkward smile, to which he simply stood there, his eyes wide. Alisha, however, understood now. Nathan had invited them all here just to get Simon and Jessica back together. That complete asshat.
She watched with jealousy coursing through her veins as Jessica whispered something into Simon's ear and he nodded at her. They both disappeared after a moment into the crowd and she just felt like going back to Superhoodie's place and sobbing, because he was supposed to love her, so why couldn't he just fucking do it?
"Crazy kids. Barry should find a closet before they're all filled up." Nathan's comment entered her ears, not helping matters at all. She simply glared at him.
"What's wrong with you?" He asked, in that stupid 'I-am-so-innocent' voice that made her swish she could touch him, just to smack him around the head. She needed to hurt something, and he seemed like her best option.
Instead she gave a harsh shove to his chest, jumping off her barstool, and exclaiming, "Shut the fuck up, Nathan, for Christ's sake." She felt her heart shatter as she thought of Jessica in that dark closet. Of the way Simon would be- gentle, slow, and beautiful.
The tears were splattering down her face as she left the pub, not bothering to tell anyone where she was going. It seemed absurd that just half an hour before she and Simon had been laughing together. She just couldn't understand the hold that love had over people; it made them do the stupidest, craziest shit.
She all but sprinted back to her Simon's place, not caring that her shoes were rubbing painful blisters into her ankles. She just wanted to be in his bed, to feel his warmth. Soon she had crawled between the sheets, her face wet with the tears that splattered down her cheeks at the thought of Simon, both future and present. Her head hurt from both of them.
She laid her head down on the bed humming a song that Simon had once sang to her as she lay against him in this very spot. "It's okay to feel this way, it doesn't matter anyway. Love is all my crippled soul will ever need." She let her eyes close and her misery wash over her, imagining that she could hear him singing, wishing he was there with her. That he wasn't just ashes on the floor in a deserted meat hanger.
She couldn't sense the invisible boy watching her from where he stood in her doorway, he too humming in a low voice, "Well, tonight, your love is all I need."
'angels on the moon'
piece three: secret life pt. one
"You speak to me- you speak to me in riddles,
And you speak to me in riddles
Puts on her face like breathing
Another day in black and red
Coat is old, car seats freezing
And a radio that just won't play
Is something on your mind?
Answer cold as ice she said
Tell me about your secret life"
Alisha wasn't really sure what to make of the present Simon. Half the time he was nervous and blustering, but the other half it was like he knew what she was thinking. She thanked whatever being there was out there, that he had not been given the ability to read minds. Then she's really be in some shit, because it had been hard enough keeping Kelly from discovering her secret, though she knew Kelly suspected them of something.
Simon wasn't exactly the easiest bloke to get to know, but she had known that from the moment she had begun to practically stalk him. Some days she wonders if the Simon from the future knew what this mind fuckery of time travel and death would do to her. How did he know that she was strong enough to survive it? Because he knew her, more than she could ever imagine. She would, in all probability, give everything to Simon.
It was around ten o' clock when she received a text from Nathan. Usually she ignored them, because Nathan was a notorious dickhead, and she didn't ever feel like dealing with him, especially since he harassed Simon all the fucking time.
'we r goin out. all of us fuckers we killed a goddamn probation worker. we're in this shit for life.'
She read the message over and wondered how Nathan could manage to be just as uncaring and irritating over text as he could in real life. He had a point, though; they really were in it for life. From the moment that Tony's heart stopped beating, they had been banded together for life. Really, for her, it started during that freak storm.
In some ways, she felt that they would be the only people who would ever understand her. They were all her best friends-even fucking Nathan. So instead of pretending she didn't get the message, she rolled off the bed she had once shared with the man that she loved.
It wasn't hard to figure out which pub they'd be going to, seeing as it was the only place they ever went. However, it was a bit of a walk for her, which she didn't particularly mind, but if she'd learned anything from his death, it was how vulnerable humans all were. She hated that Nathan would never die, while she had watched everything she had ever loved literally burn before her eyes.
Before her hand was on the door handle, she felt her hand vibrate with her phone. She looked down, blinking at the screen when it said Simon in bright red letters. She didn't even think before she hit the 'read now' option.
'Would you like to walk to the pub together?'
She smiled fondly at the phone, because it was just so Simon to type with proper grammar and spelling. Her heart swelled at the thought of walking with him, maybe touching him. She hadn't seen him since the night that she had told him about Superhoodie. It had worried her that he might not be interested in her anymore, probably thought that she was fucking insane.
She quickly lifted her fingers to the keys, having no time for proper grammar.
'sure :)'
'I'm outside your flat. Come out when you're ready. I'll be waiting.'
She felt like some idiot primary school girl, getting all worked up and flushed over a bloody text message, but it was Simon. He made everything her life just go fucking haywire whenever he so much as looked at her. So she swallowed her nerves, pulling the door open quickly to insure that she would see his face that much quicker.
He was waiting, just as he said, wearing his usual nice trousers, but tonight he donned an orange hoodie. Alisha felt her knees go week, because she had that exact hoodie sitting on her bed at this moment. He had even seen her wear it. What a mind fuck time travel was, it was just far too complicated for her. It made sense that Simon would be the one to try it, he was always fucking mysterious.
"Hey." She said happily, shooting a smile his way before catching up to the place that he stood, watching her.
His eyes were the same beautiful shade of blue that she remembered. She could still feel them on her from before, where the future version of the boy in front of her, had pressed his body on top of her. She knew she was probably flushing by that point.
"Hey. Uh, you ready?" He asked, causing her to see the flicker of insecurity in his face as he watched her walk towards the main street up ahead.
"I like your jacket." She spoke after a few seconds of awkward silence. As soon as the words left her mouth she cringed. Why did he always make her say the stupidest shit? But Simon didn't seem to mind, as she watched the corners of his mouth turn up into his signature smile.
"Thanks. I bought it today." He smiled over at her, "I, uh, thought I could use a bit of color." He smirked then, and she knew why. If there was one thing she knew everything about when it came to Simon, it was his body. It had been awkward at first because she couldn't look at him without thinking, 'I've seen you naked. I know what your cock looks like for fuck's sake.' But that had worn off now, she thought it was weird that she didn't find it strange anymore, but she and Simon never were normal.
"I know. You look like you don't even know what the fucking sun is!" She laughed, shoving his shoulder. He just laughed with her, a bizarre noise because Simon never laughed. Only with her, she realized, he only laughed when she was around.
"Well, Curtis and Nathan are bare-chested enough for the rest of us." He said awkwardly, causing her to smile, because she knew that he might not be it now, but in the future he was much more defined than the other two.
"I'm sure you look just as good. But you might blind us all." She giggled, as he looked over at her and did a very un-Simon like thing; he stuck his tongue out at her. It was such a beautiful moment for her to see him grow into the man she knew, if only by a tiny amount.
"I guess you would know." He said quietly, looking over at her, almost shyly. "We… we had sex, didn't we? Well... not me and you, obviously, but you and him." He stuttered out, in a way that seemed almost scared of her reaction.
However, all Alisha could do was smile softly at the memory of Simon's arms around her, touching her, completing her. How gentle he always was, always; his lips and how the set her skin on fire in a way that she had never known before.
"Yeah. He warned me about Jessica, err, you two shagging, I mean." She grimaced, not wanting to upset him. He just nodded, his face reforming into that irritating mask void of all emotion. "It sort of drove me crazy. Seeing you get it on with another girl. Fucking stupid, I know, 'cause you didn't even know." She sighed.
His face was screwed up into a look of someone trying to figure out a complex puzzle. "But you didn't stop me. You let us…" He spoke uneasily, looking over at her, a kind of pain searing her heart at his total lack of understanding.
"I had to. You needed that experience to make you… you. I couldn't take it away from you. At that point, you couldn't touch me." She breathed, hating how true it was, how utterly jealous she was.
They had reached the pub, Simon being ever the gentleman, stepped out to open the door for her. She smiled at him, thinking about how Curtis never opened doors for her. Then again, there really was no comparison there. She loved Simon, both versions, and Curtis wasn't really her scene anymore.
"Oi! There ya are, Barry!" Alisha rolled her eyes at the sound of Nathan's voice, but smiled at Kelly, sending a wave to where she stood, chatting up some bloke. Hopefully this one didn't turn out to be a gorilla, because they had enough fucked up shit in their lives.
Simon slipped away from her side causing a slight twinge of hurt within her. It was hard to remember that he wasn't hers. He wasn't really him yet. She watched him, though, as she asked the bartender for a drink. She watched as he made his way to Nathan.
Then someone she never wanted to see again stepped out in front of Simon, Nathan was grinning, which told her straight away that this was without doubt his idea. Jessica gave Simon an awkward smile, to which he simply stood there, his eyes wide. Alisha, however, understood now. Nathan had invited them all here just to get Simon and Jessica back together. That complete asshat.
She watched with jealousy coursing through her veins as Jessica whispered something into Simon's ear and he nodded at her. They both disappeared after a moment into the crowd and she just felt like going back to Superhoodie's place and sobbing, because he was supposed to love her, so why couldn't he just fucking do it?
"Crazy kids. Barry should find a closet before they're all filled up." Nathan's comment entered her ears, not helping matters at all. She simply glared at him.
"What's wrong with you?" He asked, in that stupid 'I-am-so-innocent' voice that made her swish she could touch him, just to smack him around the head. She needed to hurt something, and he seemed like her best option.
Instead she gave a harsh shove to his chest, jumping off her barstool, and exclaiming, "Shut the fuck up, Nathan, for Christ's sake." She felt her heart shatter as she thought of Jessica in that dark closet. Of the way Simon would be- gentle, slow, and beautiful.
The tears were splattering down her face as she left the pub, not bothering to tell anyone where she was going. It seemed absurd that just half an hour before she and Simon had been laughing together. She just couldn't understand the hold that love had over people; it made them do the stupidest, craziest shit.
She all but sprinted back to her Simon's place, not caring that her shoes were rubbing painful blisters into her ankles. She just wanted to be in his bed, to feel his warmth. Soon she had crawled between the sheets, her face wet with the tears that splattered down her cheeks at the thought of Simon, both future and present. Her head hurt from both of them.
She laid her head down on the bed humming a song that Simon had once sang to her as she lay against him in this very spot. "It's okay to feel this way, it doesn't matter anyway. Love is all my crippled soul will ever need." She let her eyes close and her misery wash over her, imagining that she could hear him singing, wishing he was there with her. That he wasn't just ashes on the floor in a deserted meat hanger.
She couldn't sense the invisible boy watching her from where he stood in her doorway, he too humming in a low voice, "Well, tonight, your love is all I need."