I blame my sister for not warning me
That this show would devour my brain and reduce all my mental processes to mush. Thanks, sis. *blows kisses*
It's also iambickilometer's fault, for per's stupidly awesome Dr. Horrible-in-Red icons. As long as I'm accusing people, here.
Anyway, Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog is eating my brain. And then it says Mmm, tasty.
AU, obviously, set just as the third Act is climaxing. I want it to be square-shaped, but I think the fic is deciding if it wants to be square, cubed, or hexagonal, so.
I. The Evil Doctor
Hammer's punch sent him sliding backwards, over the freshly polished wood floor. The lights from the news channels and the recessed ceiling lights swam in a competition with the stars clouding his vision. Once it had cleared, it was only to Captain Hammer's smug face, just beyond Dr. Horrible's own Death Ray.
Which, come to that, was sparking and sizzling and glittering in ways it was not supposed to spark, sizzle, or glitter.
Hammer was saying something--something absurd, but the gun was broken, and he couldn't get enough breath to tell the hulking, smirking moron--
"Don't!"
Oh god, oh god, ohgod ohgod ohgodohgodohgod....
"Don't shoot him," Penny said. She was hanging onto Captain Hammer's arm, and her hand was on the gun....
"It's Billy," she said, "from the laundromat."
"He's a villian," Captain Hammer said, as though that was enough justification.
"Please don't," Penny said, and her voice was so sweet. Dr. Horrible wanted to sit up, to stand up and snatch the Death Ray and turn it off because it was broken and Penny was here. The boot on his chest didn't get any lighter, though, any more than Captain Hammer would be getting any smarter.
"The gun's broken," he wheezed. "There's something wrong with it, throw it away--"
"You would say that, you...villian," Captain Hammer said, somehow managing to pose heroically. "You're just trying to get out of your just desserts. That taste like justice."
"Don't shoot him," Penny said again. "Let's just...talk about this." She was gently tugging on Captain Hammer's arm, dragging him slowly backwards.
"You can always choke me to death," Dr. Horrible pointed out, more interested in getting Penny away from the gun--from his utter failure--to care much about living later. She seemed a lot more real and so much more breakable than she ever had.
Captain Hammer paused, considering. "That's true," he said, flexing a muscle--thankfully in the arm that wasn't holding the gun.
"Throw the gun away," Penny said. Dr. Horrible was sure she meant it metaphorically, but Captain Hammer was not so suave with metaphors and took her literally. He tossed the gun towards the stage and stepped off Dr. Horrible's chest.
It was just as well--Dr. Horrible heard the whine and sat up long enough to choke out "Get down!" and tug Penny to the floor before the gun exploded. The blast vibrated outward, and caught Captain Hammer in the back. It knocked him over Dr. Horrible's head and to the floor beyond. Shrapnal embedded itself in the walls, the floor, the ceiling--Dr. Horrible caught a piece in his shoulder. He gave an unmanly yelp.
"Oh," Penny said. He looked her over very quickly, but she was unhurt. No shrapnal protruding from her body, no blood--unlike his shoulder.
"Oh," she said again. Beyond them, Captain Hammer was wailing and bawling, wondering if this was what pain felt like. Dr. Horrible grimaced as he sat up.
"Let's get you to a hospital," Penny said. He shook his head.
"No," he gasped, as she helped him to his feet. "I'll go to my apartme--I mean, my evil lai--ow, crap." He gripped his shoulder, and watched blood gurgle up to slide down his glove's fingers.
Penny guided him through the crowd, which was much concerned with the sobbing, traumatized superhero. "Aren't you going to see if he's okay?"
She gave him a strained smile. "I want to make sure you're taken care of first," she said. "Everyone likes Captain Hammer."
And I just shot up a shelter for the homeless, Dr. Horrible thought. And Penny had seen--all of it.
She'd never want Austraila now.
***
I will get back to this.
Also, Pom is terribly fond of sleeping on my futon, especially if I am also sleeping on my futon.
It's also iambickilometer's fault, for per's stupidly awesome Dr. Horrible-in-Red icons. As long as I'm accusing people, here.
Anyway, Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog is eating my brain. And then it says Mmm, tasty.
AU, obviously, set just as the third Act is climaxing. I want it to be square-shaped, but I think the fic is deciding if it wants to be square, cubed, or hexagonal, so.
I. The Evil Doctor
Hammer's punch sent him sliding backwards, over the freshly polished wood floor. The lights from the news channels and the recessed ceiling lights swam in a competition with the stars clouding his vision. Once it had cleared, it was only to Captain Hammer's smug face, just beyond Dr. Horrible's own Death Ray.
Which, come to that, was sparking and sizzling and glittering in ways it was not supposed to spark, sizzle, or glitter.
Hammer was saying something--something absurd, but the gun was broken, and he couldn't get enough breath to tell the hulking, smirking moron--
"Don't!"
Oh god, oh god, ohgod ohgod ohgodohgodohgod....
"Don't shoot him," Penny said. She was hanging onto Captain Hammer's arm, and her hand was on the gun....
"It's Billy," she said, "from the laundromat."
"He's a villian," Captain Hammer said, as though that was enough justification.
"Please don't," Penny said, and her voice was so sweet. Dr. Horrible wanted to sit up, to stand up and snatch the Death Ray and turn it off because it was broken and Penny was here. The boot on his chest didn't get any lighter, though, any more than Captain Hammer would be getting any smarter.
"The gun's broken," he wheezed. "There's something wrong with it, throw it away--"
"You would say that, you...villian," Captain Hammer said, somehow managing to pose heroically. "You're just trying to get out of your just desserts. That taste like justice."
"Don't shoot him," Penny said again. "Let's just...talk about this." She was gently tugging on Captain Hammer's arm, dragging him slowly backwards.
"You can always choke me to death," Dr. Horrible pointed out, more interested in getting Penny away from the gun--from his utter failure--to care much about living later. She seemed a lot more real and so much more breakable than she ever had.
Captain Hammer paused, considering. "That's true," he said, flexing a muscle--thankfully in the arm that wasn't holding the gun.
"Throw the gun away," Penny said. Dr. Horrible was sure she meant it metaphorically, but Captain Hammer was not so suave with metaphors and took her literally. He tossed the gun towards the stage and stepped off Dr. Horrible's chest.
It was just as well--Dr. Horrible heard the whine and sat up long enough to choke out "Get down!" and tug Penny to the floor before the gun exploded. The blast vibrated outward, and caught Captain Hammer in the back. It knocked him over Dr. Horrible's head and to the floor beyond. Shrapnal embedded itself in the walls, the floor, the ceiling--Dr. Horrible caught a piece in his shoulder. He gave an unmanly yelp.
"Oh," Penny said. He looked her over very quickly, but she was unhurt. No shrapnal protruding from her body, no blood--unlike his shoulder.
"Oh," she said again. Beyond them, Captain Hammer was wailing and bawling, wondering if this was what pain felt like. Dr. Horrible grimaced as he sat up.
"Let's get you to a hospital," Penny said. He shook his head.
"No," he gasped, as she helped him to his feet. "I'll go to my apartme--I mean, my evil lai--ow, crap." He gripped his shoulder, and watched blood gurgle up to slide down his glove's fingers.
Penny guided him through the crowd, which was much concerned with the sobbing, traumatized superhero. "Aren't you going to see if he's okay?"
She gave him a strained smile. "I want to make sure you're taken care of first," she said. "Everyone likes Captain Hammer."
And I just shot up a shelter for the homeless, Dr. Horrible thought. And Penny had seen--all of it.
She'd never want Austraila now.
***
I will get back to this.
Also, Pom is terribly fond of sleeping on my futon, especially if I am also sleeping on my futon.