holding doors.
So i have discovered that I really really enjoy holding doors for people...its all about taking the smallest things and making them not about myself. I'm trying really hard right now to not focus on what I want but what is OUT THERE...its much more comforting to not focus so much on myself all the time and also I feel like I get a clearer picture of who I am by not looking DIRECTLY at myself...if that makes sense.
My grandma has cancer again.
this is the first time in a really long time when I just dont feel like having sex. I just don't...and I guess thats kinda weird but at the same time refreshing. I just dont need it or miss it or anything really. Writing and breathing and running and drinking water and singing are so much more to me right now than any of the sex I have had in the past, and I've been obsessing about how much I wanna get laid blah blah blah that I feel as though I have lost time and energy to a want that obviously doesn't fit with who i am right now.
Dude. if you haven't ever read Sartre's play "No Exit"....its pretty freaking intense...and you should.
Its really ironic how right now everything is about reflection.
My grandma has cancer again.
this is the first time in a really long time when I just dont feel like having sex. I just don't...and I guess thats kinda weird but at the same time refreshing. I just dont need it or miss it or anything really. Writing and breathing and running and drinking water and singing are so much more to me right now than any of the sex I have had in the past, and I've been obsessing about how much I wanna get laid blah blah blah that I feel as though I have lost time and energy to a want that obviously doesn't fit with who i am right now.
Dude. if you haven't ever read Sartre's play "No Exit"....its pretty freaking intense...and you should.
Its really ironic how right now everything is about reflection.