what I need...is for everyone to continue performing admirably.
Christmas sucks when you're a grownup.
My mom keeps bugging me to give her a list of stuff I would want for xmas, and I haven't yet because I don't know at all what to put.
It's not that there's nothing I want, but here's the thing:
For the most part, whenever I want/need something I simply buy it myself; and as for bigger things I can't possibly afford...both my parents are broke so if I can't afford it there's not much hope they can either. And I don't have any other close extended family to ask.
And I know people (read: Mom) will say, "Well you never know if you don't ask, maybe it can be worked out." But I can't bring myself to have the audacity to ask for an iMac or nice camera from someone who's living paycheck to paycheck, especially in this economy, because they probably would get it and then I'd be racked with guilt over how could they have spent money like that on me.
The things I honestly need don't really fall in the category of ~under the tree~ gifts. What I really need is money. Or a nice vacation, but even if someone bought me a trip to wherever, I just started a new job so I won't be getting a week off any time soon anyway. Other things I would like are: a boyfriend, a nicer apartment, a better relationship with my dad. Unforch, none of these things are available to be shipped from Amazon.
Would also like the obligatory Peace On Earth, bigger boobs, and/or Zachary Quinto as my next door neighbor.
And it breaks my heart that the things I really want to get other people--because I love giving gifts as much as I love getting them--are equally out of my reach or intangible.
So idk. I have a feeling that just as I have the last few years I'll just wind up putting super boring practical grown up type things on my list, like a vacuum or rice cooker, things I could use but don't feel like spending my own money on, plus some books/dvds I haven't bothered buying yet, and call it a List. But it's nowhere near as exciting as being 10 and squeeing with joy over getting an assload of toys Christmas morning.
Going to bed before I can possibly get any more emo.
My mom keeps bugging me to give her a list of stuff I would want for xmas, and I haven't yet because I don't know at all what to put.
It's not that there's nothing I want, but here's the thing:
For the most part, whenever I want/need something I simply buy it myself; and as for bigger things I can't possibly afford...both my parents are broke so if I can't afford it there's not much hope they can either. And I don't have any other close extended family to ask.
And I know people (read: Mom) will say, "Well you never know if you don't ask, maybe it can be worked out." But I can't bring myself to have the audacity to ask for an iMac or nice camera from someone who's living paycheck to paycheck, especially in this economy, because they probably would get it and then I'd be racked with guilt over how could they have spent money like that on me.
The things I honestly need don't really fall in the category of ~under the tree~ gifts. What I really need is money. Or a nice vacation, but even if someone bought me a trip to wherever, I just started a new job so I won't be getting a week off any time soon anyway. Other things I would like are: a boyfriend, a nicer apartment, a better relationship with my dad. Unforch, none of these things are available to be shipped from Amazon.
Would also like the obligatory Peace On Earth, bigger boobs, and/or Zachary Quinto as my next door neighbor.
And it breaks my heart that the things I really want to get other people--because I love giving gifts as much as I love getting them--are equally out of my reach or intangible.
So idk. I have a feeling that just as I have the last few years I'll just wind up putting super boring practical grown up type things on my list, like a vacuum or rice cooker, things I could use but don't feel like spending my own money on, plus some books/dvds I haven't bothered buying yet, and call it a List. But it's nowhere near as exciting as being 10 and squeeing with joy over getting an assload of toys Christmas morning.
Going to bed before I can possibly get any more emo.