LOTR: Return of the King -- MSTed.
Subtitle: On why watching RoTK in the front row of the movie theater, staring up at the screen and getting a crick in my spine with fiareynne, is better than the midnight screening with The Sister.
Choice [Paraphrased] Quotes of Us and Those Around Us:
Me: [Upon seeing Legolas in the cloak] Are they like, trying to make him look girlier than he already does?
fiareynne: [Right before the separation of Merry and Pippin] They're arguing like an old married couple.
fiareynne: [As the soldiers are getting ready for battle] I think Theoden has a booger up his nose.
fiareynne: [At the end of the singing/battle/eating scene] Is Pippin crying because of the song, or because of Denethor's eating habits?
Me: [When Faramir smiles a little as he awakens and sees his father in flames] He's so pretty when his father's incinerating himself.
Felicia and Someone To Our Left: [When Denethor throws himself from the cliff] Wheee!
Me: [During the battle of Pelennor Fields] Agh! It feels like I'm gonna get stampeded at any minute. Stupid oliphaunt.
Me: [During the battle] How did they get the oliphaunts to stand still long enough to paint them?
fiareynne: [As another oliphaunt goes plewie] But more importantly, why did they even bother painting them?
Me: Because they're so purty!
fiareynne: [When Frodo, Sam, and Gollum are climbing the stairs] Close your eyes and it sounds like they're having sex.
Me: [Seeing facially-deformed Orc guy again] Oh, look! He changed the color of his lip gloss. It's such a flattering color on him. I wonder where he got it?
Me: I hate spiders.
Guy Behind Us: [As Frodo is stuck by Shelob] He looks like he just got something shoved up his ass.
During the coronation/make out with Arwen scene...
fiareynne: It's so shiny...
Me: What is? The crown, or Aragorn's hair?
fiareynne: I'm a pretty, pretty princess! After Gandalf crowns Aragorn and he turns around
fiareynne: Notice that he's still singing, but his mouth isn't moving.
Me: He's magic. With his shiny hair and ability to throw his voice? Why, he's a faiwy pwintheth!
Me: I like Legolas' tiara better than Arwen's.
fiareynne: Yeah, hers has dangly bits on it.
Me: They make her ears look big.
fiareynne: No, the fact that her ears are big makes her ears look big.
Me: What, no 'Hey, how've you been?' after Aragorn dives in for a kiss
Guy Behind Us: [When Bilbo gets on the ship with Elrond] And that's when they started the first nursing home.
fiareynne: [In the car on the way home] You know, neither Merry nor Pippin got married in the book.
Me: They lived happily ever after, as loving lifepartners, under a civil union where they adopted a few hobbit orphans...
fiareynne: ... and taught them how to stab things.
Me: What did they do with all the bodies after the battle?
bfreynne: I'm guessing they burned them?
sisterryenne: Yeah, but then what did they do with the ashes?
fiareynne: Maybe they made orc soap.
Choice [Paraphrased] Quotes of Us and Those Around Us:
Me: [Upon seeing Legolas in the cloak] Are they like, trying to make him look girlier than he already does?
fiareynne: [Right before the separation of Merry and Pippin] They're arguing like an old married couple.
fiareynne: [As the soldiers are getting ready for battle] I think Theoden has a booger up his nose.
fiareynne: [At the end of the singing/battle/eating scene] Is Pippin crying because of the song, or because of Denethor's eating habits?
Me: [When Faramir smiles a little as he awakens and sees his father in flames] He's so pretty when his father's incinerating himself.
Felicia and Someone To Our Left: [When Denethor throws himself from the cliff] Wheee!
Me: [During the battle of Pelennor Fields] Agh! It feels like I'm gonna get stampeded at any minute. Stupid oliphaunt.
Me: [During the battle] How did they get the oliphaunts to stand still long enough to paint them?
fiareynne: [As another oliphaunt goes plewie] But more importantly, why did they even bother painting them?
Me: Because they're so purty!
fiareynne: [When Frodo, Sam, and Gollum are climbing the stairs] Close your eyes and it sounds like they're having sex.
Me: [Seeing facially-deformed Orc guy again] Oh, look! He changed the color of his lip gloss. It's such a flattering color on him. I wonder where he got it?
Me: I hate spiders.
Guy Behind Us: [As Frodo is stuck by Shelob] He looks like he just got something shoved up his ass.
During the coronation/make out with Arwen scene...
fiareynne: It's so shiny...
Me: What is? The crown, or Aragorn's hair?
fiareynne: I'm a pretty, pretty princess! After Gandalf crowns Aragorn and he turns around
fiareynne: Notice that he's still singing, but his mouth isn't moving.
Me: He's magic. With his shiny hair and ability to throw his voice? Why, he's a faiwy pwintheth!
Me: I like Legolas' tiara better than Arwen's.
fiareynne: Yeah, hers has dangly bits on it.
Me: They make her ears look big.
fiareynne: No, the fact that her ears are big makes her ears look big.
Me: What, no 'Hey, how've you been?' after Aragorn dives in for a kiss
Guy Behind Us: [When Bilbo gets on the ship with Elrond] And that's when they started the first nursing home.
fiareynne: [In the car on the way home] You know, neither Merry nor Pippin got married in the book.
Me: They lived happily ever after, as loving lifepartners, under a civil union where they adopted a few hobbit orphans...
fiareynne: ... and taught them how to stab things.
Me: What did they do with all the bodies after the battle?
bfreynne: I'm guessing they burned them?
sisterryenne: Yeah, but then what did they do with the ashes?
fiareynne: Maybe they made orc soap.