BUFFY Fic: For Always (3/?) -- B/S
Title: For Always
Author: Magz
Rating: R
Pairing: Not!Buffy/Not!Spike
Summary: Once upon a time, as all good tales begin, there was a lovely dale where rain never dared to fall during daylight hours. All-human AU.
TWO -- GOING HOME
The village had changed little in the past five years. The little bubbling brook still ran clear, people still bustled from house to house as they ran their daily errands. The stone keep still stood high on the hill, its stone walls still strong and solid.
Buffy had never felt more like a stranger in her entire life.
Her long, flowing gown rustled softly as she shifted inside the carriage, staring out the window at the place that had once been her home. The place she'd come back to after hearing that her mother had taken ill.
William wasn't among her thoughts as she stepped from the carriage, lifted her skirts so that the hems hovered above the cobblestone street, and walked toward the cottage. It seemed fitting that William would be the first person she saw when she entered.
"If there's anything I can do for you, Jocelyn, just send for me," he said, releasing the older woman's hand and stepping away from her. When he noticed that she wasn't looking at him, but rather at someone behind him, he turned warily. "Are you here to see the midwife?"
"Yes, I am," Buffy replied quietly, discreetly looking him over. He'd become the man he'd said he was when they were twelve.
William tilted his head and gazed at the beautiful newcomer who looked as out of place inside the small cottage as he did. "I'm afraid she's unable to help you today. She's feeling under the weather." He stepped forward, his eyes on hers. "It is rare for such an elegant woman as yourself to pass through our village. I am Lord William Giles."
"Yes," the blonde said amusedly, "I know. Your reputation precedes you, milord."
"Will you be staying here long?" William asked. "I'd like to invite you and your man to stay in my keep for as long as you wish to."
"That won't be necessary, Lord William," Buffy said. "I'll be quite comfortable - "
"But I insist," he interjected. "You'll be well taken care of."
"Beggin' your pardon, milord," Jocelyn said raspily from her seat by the hearth, "but if my daughter don't want to stay with you in your fancy keep, I'd say let 'er stay 'ere instead. I've got a bed all made up for 'er."
"Your... daughter...?" William asked, dumbfounded. He stared blatantly at Buffy. "You're not..."
"Buffy, milord," the blonde replied. "I am Buffy."
"You're not..." He shook his head, walking around her and looking her over. "It can't be."
The younger woman smiled. "Have I truly changed so much since you last saw me?" she asked.
An image of a weeping twelve year old with dirty tear-tracks on her face, cursing him, flashed through his mind. He shook his head slightly, looking at her again. "Not so much," he decided. "Though, if I look closely, I see that you've changed here and there," he added, gazing at her breasts for a moment.
"Get your eyes off 'er!" Jocelyn reprimanded him, the statement punctuated by a cough. "It's your fault she got sent away to begin with."
Buffy looked over at her mother, then back at William, whose expression appeared positively stricken. "It wasn't your fault," she said gently. "We should've known better than to hang about one another back then. It was a matter of social class, and I understand that perfectly now."
"Nevertheless, I do feel guilty for not asking my father to change his mind," he replied. He took her aside. "I'd like to go somewhere with you, so we can trade stories of the past five years."
"Who would be the chaperone?" she inquired.
Chaperone? Why would I want there to be a chaperone? William thought. "Riley," he answered, "my stableboy."
Riley the stableboy turned out to be a man of about twenty-five, whose mental deficiencies had allowed few opportunities for a good position in the town or a wife and family. He was kind enough, and gentle with the horses, but he wasn't the chaperone sort. This offered Buffy and William privacy beneath the large tree where they'd taken their picnic.
"What happened to your mother and father?" Buffy asked quietly, fiddling with a blade of grass and shifting on the thick woolen blanket William had laid down.
"Father died about a year after you left," he replied. "And Mother followed him soon after." He picked at a few stray pills on the wool.
"Oh, William," Buffy said, covering his hand with her own. "I'm so sorry."
"Don't be. It's not your fault," he returned. "What is Willow like?"
"She's got the reddest hair I've ever seen," she said immediately. "And she's very kind. I don't know why Lord Angelus needed a companion for her, she's got so many friends of her own."
"I heard that he'd adopted you as his own daughter," William said. "That you have everything, titles, fineries... shoes..."
"You never did buy me those shoes," Buffy mused.
"Because you pushed me into the stream," he shot back.
"You were so fascinated with those ducks, I couldn't bear to see you apart from them."
"If I pushed you into the stream, it would ruin your lovely gown," William said. "I'll just have to wait until you start dressing as you used to, to retaliate."
She laughed. "I'll stay quite dry, then. I don't plan on wearing those rags again, as long as I have such lovely clothes."
"Then I'll take them away from you. You'll have to put on the rags, or go about naked." He grinned at her, but the grin slowly faded as he imagined her without clothes. He cleared his throat. "You turned out to be quite pretty, do you know that?" William asked. "Especially when you laugh, it's really rather lovely."
Buffy glanced toward their chaperone. "We should return to the village. My mother will be waiting for me."
"Your mother is under the watchful eye of Drusilla. She'll not be bothered by the lack of your presence." He flopped over onto his back gracelessly. "I never married Harmony."
"Why not?"
"I didn't like her."
"You said you wouldn't, I remember," she replied. "Why didn't you like her?"
"She was irritating and stupid," he replied bluntly. "I wouldn't have been able to stand being around her long enough to get her with child - plow her, I believe, was your term for it."
She blushed. "I was different then. I had no manners, it was quite rude of me to say such things."
"You said something else that day," William half-whispered. propping himself up on one elbow. "You said, 'may you always want me' - "
" - but never have me," Buffy finished softly. "Yes, I remember. I shouldn't have said that, either. I was distressed, and I took it out on you."
"I deserved it," he said contritely.
"No, you didn't. No person deserves to be cursed like that, William."
"So it was a curse?" William asked. "I didn't know you were capable of such a thing."
"I didn't either, until Drusilla took me aside the night before I left, and told me that she saw things in me that she hadn't seen before in anyone else," Buffy admitted. "I'm very sorry. I've probably ruined your entire life, by uttering some words in anger."
"Not a day went by that I didn't think of you," he whispered. "I'd wonder if you were happy in your new home, if you thought about me... if you were being courted..."
"I never had many suitors. Lord Angelus was very protective of Willow and I," she said after a time.
He took her hand, then fixed his gaze on their intertwined fingers before sitting up and kissing her softly. Buffy's brows raised in surprise, though her eyes had fallen closed. They pulled back as one, then melded their mouths again and again with short, petal-soft caresses of lips to lips.
It was Buffy's hand on his chest that halted William from pulling her close and kissing her fully.
"We shouldn't do this, William," she said quietly, turning her gaze away.
"Why not?" he asked, quelling the urge to press her down on the woolen blanket and ravage her mouth with his own. He leaned back on his elbows, looking up at her.
"I may appear to be a lady," she murmured, "but in my heart I'm still just a midwife's daughter. I'm not good enough for you, William. You deserve better."
"But I want you," he argued.
"It's the curse," Buffy said, looking at him sadly. "Nothing more."
Jocelyn wasn't doing well.
Buffy and William rushed into the cottage, hearing her coughing loudly. The panic-stricken looks on their faces displayed their worry for the middle-aged woman lying in bed in a corner of the main room.
Drusilla pulled them aside at the doorway. "Don't get too close to 'er," she warned. "There's no easy way for me to say this, milord..." she trailed off, looking Buffy over, "... milady... But Jocelyn is dyin'."
Buffy raised a shaky hand to her mouth, her eyes wide. "What?"
"She 'as consumption. Leastwise, that's what she told me she 'as. An'..." she turned her attention to William, "... she said she wanted to talk to you, milord. In private." The dark-haired woman looked at Buffy pointedly.
The blonde nodded, stepping out of the cottage with Drusilla. "How have you been?" she managed to ask.
"Passin' fair," Drusilla replied. "Got my own place in the next town, now. Doin' all the births an' healin', an' I took over for your mum when she got sick."
"That's good of you," Buffy said softly. "Thank you for taking care of her."
Inside, William was completely gobsmacked. "You want me to what?" he asked for a third time.
"You gone 'ard of 'earin' all of a sudden?" Jocelyn croaked. "Want you to marry my Buffy."
"Erm..." he began, clearing his throat. "Shouldn't Buffy be allowed to help with this decision?"
"She'd 'ave none of it," the midwife replied. "Don't know why, she was 'alf in love with you back when you were young."
William smiled a bit. "She was, wasn't she?" he asked, puffing up proudly.
"Saw the way you looked at 'er when you came in," Jocelyn continued, "an' I know she looks at you th' same way, when you're not payin' any mind."
"Oh, but that's... I... oh..." he sputtered, glancing around. "She won't like it."
"An' that's why I want you to ask 'er, like you mean what you're sayin'. Make a dyin' woman happy?" she beseeched.
William looked at the midwife for a long time. She'd had a large role in his raising. Could he refuse to grant her dying wish?
Buffy stood as William exited the cottage, looking mightily confused. She laid a hand on his arm, frowning when he flinched slightly from the contact. "What's the matter?" she asked.
He rubbed the back of his neck, staring down the street for a moment, before turning to her. "Would you like to tour the keep? There have been a few changes since last you saw it."
"Oh, but... now?" She'd been prepared to take her afternoon tea by Jocelyn's bedside. Traipsing about his Lordship's grounds hadn't been part of the plan.
"You don't want to," he said quietly, looking away. She opened her mouth to reply, but he continued before she was able to speak. "I understand. You're a beautiful lady, you've no need to see the home of a man like myself."
"William," she interjected, distressed at his dull tone, "I would very much enjoy seeing your home again." She turned to Drusilla. "Could you please tell my mother that I've gone up the hill?" she requested.
Drusilla nodded and entered the cottage.
"Lead the way, kind sir," Buffy said, a hint of a smile gracing her features.
William offered her his arm, and she slipped her hand through it as he led her up the hill to the old stone keep. "The reason I'm bringing you up to the keep has little to do with the fact that we've renovated a bit," he admitted.
"Then why are you...?"
Around the corner of the blacksmith's shop, he slowed his pace, then halted altogether, turning toward her. "I wanted to talk about you. Well... us, really. Oh, and your mother."
She was confused, to say the least. "What does my mother have to do with us?"
"Right now?" he asked. "Everything."
"I don't understand," she said softly. "You may have to be more specific, milord."
He fumbled with the hem of his tunic, looked down at his hands, and blurted, "She has asked me to take your hand in marriage."
"She..." Buffy leaned against the outer wall of the blacksmith's shop weakly. "She what? She's not serious, is she? We can't - "
"What's stopping us? We like each other well enough," William commented, leaning next to her.
"It's a matter of station, William," she replied. "Just as it was five years ago, when I was sent away."
"You know just as well as I do that we're both of the same station now. That's not the real reason you're hesitating," he said. "It's your mother's dying wish, and I believe that we'd make her very happy by granting it."
"It's the curse," Buffy said finally. "You don't want me of your own free will. You want me because I forced you to. I'm sorry, William, but I cannot - "
"What about emotions, Buffy?" William asked. "That curse of yours makes me want you, this is true, but it doesn't say a thing about needing you. About needing the girl that I kissed a long time ago."
"That girl is gone, William!" she cried. "Don't you understand that? She's been gone for a long time, and all that's left is me."
"Don't make me force you into this marriage," William pleaded quietly. "I care deeply for your mother, and I want to abide by her wishes."
"The curse won't let you..." she trailed off, swallowing hard. "If we wed, you'll have no heir."
"I'll find one somewhere," he said. "I have family in the West."
"You're really willing to give up your bloodline to make my mother happy?" Buffy asked incredulously.
"She was there for me after my parents passed, more than anyone else," William responded. "I feel obligated to make her as comfortable and happy as I can."
"You've changed so much," she mused.
Author: Magz
Rating: R
Pairing: Not!Buffy/Not!Spike
Summary: Once upon a time, as all good tales begin, there was a lovely dale where rain never dared to fall during daylight hours. All-human AU.
TWO -- GOING HOME
The village had changed little in the past five years. The little bubbling brook still ran clear, people still bustled from house to house as they ran their daily errands. The stone keep still stood high on the hill, its stone walls still strong and solid.
Buffy had never felt more like a stranger in her entire life.
Her long, flowing gown rustled softly as she shifted inside the carriage, staring out the window at the place that had once been her home. The place she'd come back to after hearing that her mother had taken ill.
William wasn't among her thoughts as she stepped from the carriage, lifted her skirts so that the hems hovered above the cobblestone street, and walked toward the cottage. It seemed fitting that William would be the first person she saw when she entered.
"If there's anything I can do for you, Jocelyn, just send for me," he said, releasing the older woman's hand and stepping away from her. When he noticed that she wasn't looking at him, but rather at someone behind him, he turned warily. "Are you here to see the midwife?"
"Yes, I am," Buffy replied quietly, discreetly looking him over. He'd become the man he'd said he was when they were twelve.
William tilted his head and gazed at the beautiful newcomer who looked as out of place inside the small cottage as he did. "I'm afraid she's unable to help you today. She's feeling under the weather." He stepped forward, his eyes on hers. "It is rare for such an elegant woman as yourself to pass through our village. I am Lord William Giles."
"Yes," the blonde said amusedly, "I know. Your reputation precedes you, milord."
"Will you be staying here long?" William asked. "I'd like to invite you and your man to stay in my keep for as long as you wish to."
"That won't be necessary, Lord William," Buffy said. "I'll be quite comfortable - "
"But I insist," he interjected. "You'll be well taken care of."
"Beggin' your pardon, milord," Jocelyn said raspily from her seat by the hearth, "but if my daughter don't want to stay with you in your fancy keep, I'd say let 'er stay 'ere instead. I've got a bed all made up for 'er."
"Your... daughter...?" William asked, dumbfounded. He stared blatantly at Buffy. "You're not..."
"Buffy, milord," the blonde replied. "I am Buffy."
"You're not..." He shook his head, walking around her and looking her over. "It can't be."
The younger woman smiled. "Have I truly changed so much since you last saw me?" she asked.
An image of a weeping twelve year old with dirty tear-tracks on her face, cursing him, flashed through his mind. He shook his head slightly, looking at her again. "Not so much," he decided. "Though, if I look closely, I see that you've changed here and there," he added, gazing at her breasts for a moment.
"Get your eyes off 'er!" Jocelyn reprimanded him, the statement punctuated by a cough. "It's your fault she got sent away to begin with."
Buffy looked over at her mother, then back at William, whose expression appeared positively stricken. "It wasn't your fault," she said gently. "We should've known better than to hang about one another back then. It was a matter of social class, and I understand that perfectly now."
"Nevertheless, I do feel guilty for not asking my father to change his mind," he replied. He took her aside. "I'd like to go somewhere with you, so we can trade stories of the past five years."
"Who would be the chaperone?" she inquired.
Chaperone? Why would I want there to be a chaperone? William thought. "Riley," he answered, "my stableboy."
Riley the stableboy turned out to be a man of about twenty-five, whose mental deficiencies had allowed few opportunities for a good position in the town or a wife and family. He was kind enough, and gentle with the horses, but he wasn't the chaperone sort. This offered Buffy and William privacy beneath the large tree where they'd taken their picnic.
"What happened to your mother and father?" Buffy asked quietly, fiddling with a blade of grass and shifting on the thick woolen blanket William had laid down.
"Father died about a year after you left," he replied. "And Mother followed him soon after." He picked at a few stray pills on the wool.
"Oh, William," Buffy said, covering his hand with her own. "I'm so sorry."
"Don't be. It's not your fault," he returned. "What is Willow like?"
"She's got the reddest hair I've ever seen," she said immediately. "And she's very kind. I don't know why Lord Angelus needed a companion for her, she's got so many friends of her own."
"I heard that he'd adopted you as his own daughter," William said. "That you have everything, titles, fineries... shoes..."
"You never did buy me those shoes," Buffy mused.
"Because you pushed me into the stream," he shot back.
"You were so fascinated with those ducks, I couldn't bear to see you apart from them."
"If I pushed you into the stream, it would ruin your lovely gown," William said. "I'll just have to wait until you start dressing as you used to, to retaliate."
She laughed. "I'll stay quite dry, then. I don't plan on wearing those rags again, as long as I have such lovely clothes."
"Then I'll take them away from you. You'll have to put on the rags, or go about naked." He grinned at her, but the grin slowly faded as he imagined her without clothes. He cleared his throat. "You turned out to be quite pretty, do you know that?" William asked. "Especially when you laugh, it's really rather lovely."
Buffy glanced toward their chaperone. "We should return to the village. My mother will be waiting for me."
"Your mother is under the watchful eye of Drusilla. She'll not be bothered by the lack of your presence." He flopped over onto his back gracelessly. "I never married Harmony."
"Why not?"
"I didn't like her."
"You said you wouldn't, I remember," she replied. "Why didn't you like her?"
"She was irritating and stupid," he replied bluntly. "I wouldn't have been able to stand being around her long enough to get her with child - plow her, I believe, was your term for it."
She blushed. "I was different then. I had no manners, it was quite rude of me to say such things."
"You said something else that day," William half-whispered. propping himself up on one elbow. "You said, 'may you always want me' - "
" - but never have me," Buffy finished softly. "Yes, I remember. I shouldn't have said that, either. I was distressed, and I took it out on you."
"I deserved it," he said contritely.
"No, you didn't. No person deserves to be cursed like that, William."
"So it was a curse?" William asked. "I didn't know you were capable of such a thing."
"I didn't either, until Drusilla took me aside the night before I left, and told me that she saw things in me that she hadn't seen before in anyone else," Buffy admitted. "I'm very sorry. I've probably ruined your entire life, by uttering some words in anger."
"Not a day went by that I didn't think of you," he whispered. "I'd wonder if you were happy in your new home, if you thought about me... if you were being courted..."
"I never had many suitors. Lord Angelus was very protective of Willow and I," she said after a time.
He took her hand, then fixed his gaze on their intertwined fingers before sitting up and kissing her softly. Buffy's brows raised in surprise, though her eyes had fallen closed. They pulled back as one, then melded their mouths again and again with short, petal-soft caresses of lips to lips.
It was Buffy's hand on his chest that halted William from pulling her close and kissing her fully.
"We shouldn't do this, William," she said quietly, turning her gaze away.
"Why not?" he asked, quelling the urge to press her down on the woolen blanket and ravage her mouth with his own. He leaned back on his elbows, looking up at her.
"I may appear to be a lady," she murmured, "but in my heart I'm still just a midwife's daughter. I'm not good enough for you, William. You deserve better."
"But I want you," he argued.
"It's the curse," Buffy said, looking at him sadly. "Nothing more."
Jocelyn wasn't doing well.
Buffy and William rushed into the cottage, hearing her coughing loudly. The panic-stricken looks on their faces displayed their worry for the middle-aged woman lying in bed in a corner of the main room.
Drusilla pulled them aside at the doorway. "Don't get too close to 'er," she warned. "There's no easy way for me to say this, milord..." she trailed off, looking Buffy over, "... milady... But Jocelyn is dyin'."
Buffy raised a shaky hand to her mouth, her eyes wide. "What?"
"She 'as consumption. Leastwise, that's what she told me she 'as. An'..." she turned her attention to William, "... she said she wanted to talk to you, milord. In private." The dark-haired woman looked at Buffy pointedly.
The blonde nodded, stepping out of the cottage with Drusilla. "How have you been?" she managed to ask.
"Passin' fair," Drusilla replied. "Got my own place in the next town, now. Doin' all the births an' healin', an' I took over for your mum when she got sick."
"That's good of you," Buffy said softly. "Thank you for taking care of her."
Inside, William was completely gobsmacked. "You want me to what?" he asked for a third time.
"You gone 'ard of 'earin' all of a sudden?" Jocelyn croaked. "Want you to marry my Buffy."
"Erm..." he began, clearing his throat. "Shouldn't Buffy be allowed to help with this decision?"
"She'd 'ave none of it," the midwife replied. "Don't know why, she was 'alf in love with you back when you were young."
William smiled a bit. "She was, wasn't she?" he asked, puffing up proudly.
"Saw the way you looked at 'er when you came in," Jocelyn continued, "an' I know she looks at you th' same way, when you're not payin' any mind."
"Oh, but that's... I... oh..." he sputtered, glancing around. "She won't like it."
"An' that's why I want you to ask 'er, like you mean what you're sayin'. Make a dyin' woman happy?" she beseeched.
William looked at the midwife for a long time. She'd had a large role in his raising. Could he refuse to grant her dying wish?
Buffy stood as William exited the cottage, looking mightily confused. She laid a hand on his arm, frowning when he flinched slightly from the contact. "What's the matter?" she asked.
He rubbed the back of his neck, staring down the street for a moment, before turning to her. "Would you like to tour the keep? There have been a few changes since last you saw it."
"Oh, but... now?" She'd been prepared to take her afternoon tea by Jocelyn's bedside. Traipsing about his Lordship's grounds hadn't been part of the plan.
"You don't want to," he said quietly, looking away. She opened her mouth to reply, but he continued before she was able to speak. "I understand. You're a beautiful lady, you've no need to see the home of a man like myself."
"William," she interjected, distressed at his dull tone, "I would very much enjoy seeing your home again." She turned to Drusilla. "Could you please tell my mother that I've gone up the hill?" she requested.
Drusilla nodded and entered the cottage.
"Lead the way, kind sir," Buffy said, a hint of a smile gracing her features.
William offered her his arm, and she slipped her hand through it as he led her up the hill to the old stone keep. "The reason I'm bringing you up to the keep has little to do with the fact that we've renovated a bit," he admitted.
"Then why are you...?"
Around the corner of the blacksmith's shop, he slowed his pace, then halted altogether, turning toward her. "I wanted to talk about you. Well... us, really. Oh, and your mother."
She was confused, to say the least. "What does my mother have to do with us?"
"Right now?" he asked. "Everything."
"I don't understand," she said softly. "You may have to be more specific, milord."
He fumbled with the hem of his tunic, looked down at his hands, and blurted, "She has asked me to take your hand in marriage."
"She..." Buffy leaned against the outer wall of the blacksmith's shop weakly. "She what? She's not serious, is she? We can't - "
"What's stopping us? We like each other well enough," William commented, leaning next to her.
"It's a matter of station, William," she replied. "Just as it was five years ago, when I was sent away."
"You know just as well as I do that we're both of the same station now. That's not the real reason you're hesitating," he said. "It's your mother's dying wish, and I believe that we'd make her very happy by granting it."
"It's the curse," Buffy said finally. "You don't want me of your own free will. You want me because I forced you to. I'm sorry, William, but I cannot - "
"What about emotions, Buffy?" William asked. "That curse of yours makes me want you, this is true, but it doesn't say a thing about needing you. About needing the girl that I kissed a long time ago."
"That girl is gone, William!" she cried. "Don't you understand that? She's been gone for a long time, and all that's left is me."
"Don't make me force you into this marriage," William pleaded quietly. "I care deeply for your mother, and I want to abide by her wishes."
"The curse won't let you..." she trailed off, swallowing hard. "If we wed, you'll have no heir."
"I'll find one somewhere," he said. "I have family in the West."
"You're really willing to give up your bloodline to make my mother happy?" Buffy asked incredulously.
"She was there for me after my parents passed, more than anyone else," William responded. "I feel obligated to make her as comfortable and happy as I can."
"You've changed so much," she mused.