(no subject)
im so damn tired, my life is going so fast these days.. i cant keep up.
im so confused about my feelings lately... i really like chris and it sucks. so we hung out a lot, then we slept together and a lot changed... he acted like he liked me a lot, i mean hed hang all over me infront of everyone he worked with and hung out with, and would start making out with me infront of everyone and introducing me as his "girlfriend" then we got into a fight because for some reason adam told him i was talking shit about him.. and i wasnt, then chris finally believed me.. and we were cool and then we didnt talk for a few days, and then i invited him over and he said he was too tired and i told him not to make excuses and he didnt say anything. so i see him thursday and i know he saw me and he acted like he didnt. he hugged kelly and everything first, then i told him i needed to talk to him later, then kelly basically cussed him out and we talked.. he said he felt like a asshole because i was upset and how he treated me, blah blah and asked if we could talk the next day because he didnt want to do it at bar. i got over it and i hung out with raji that night, whatever.
so the next day chris called me and he asked what i did that night and he got jealous when i said i hung out with shahn and raji, kinda funny lol. so then he called me later and said he couldnt come over to talk because he was going to work, and so we talked on the phone and i said i didnt want a relationship and he thought i did. and then he was like "i thought to myself, i really like this girl but shes moving in two months, what am i supposed to do when you move"? i was like well idk, and he said he didnt know what i wanted, and i said well i dont want a relationship i just want someone to hang out with and have fun with. so he said okay and how he was soo sorry, blah blah and said hed call kiss and tell them he couldnt come in, and i said nooo go to work and he said he wanted to come over and i said no because i was still mad. then we got off the phone, and i finally decided he could come over. he came over, kinda awkward because we fought and he was saying sorry and how he really does like me alot blah blah, then we watched blow and ya know... then he left because he had to go to work at bar. so last night i went out and i saw him but i didnt say hey, i said hey to his friends first. and kelly and laura said hey to him and he asked where i was, and then he saw me. then he pulled me over to hung him and he was like heyy baby and kissed me and tried to hang on to me but i pulled away. then i went back and hugged him and he asked if i was okay and i said yeah he was like are you sure are you mad at me and i said no im good. then i walked away and he asked kelly and laura if i was mad at him and they said they didnt know lol. im just playing the game... but then i txted him later and called and he didnt answer... then i msged him on myspace and he didnt asnwer, fucker. idk i really do like him too, idk. it hurts but whatever.
then raji, i like him too.. but id rather chris. chris is who he is though, he works for kiss and every girl wants him... its just hard. i hate thinking about him. i may go where he works on tuesday but idk yet. im gonna hang out with raji more just to get over chris, because idk how me and chris are gonna work out and i know i can have fun with raji and not get attached.. but with chris i will get attached. i know i dont want a relationship right now but i feel like i may want one with chris at some point and i really dont want to... idk confusing...
i miss chris, it sucks.. i miss raji too because him brad and shahn are in orlando... gezz these club boys!!!
id like to "hang" out with chris or raji, but i gots my period so good thing im not... good thing me and chris hung out before i started it. i just want it more though lol. damnit i want them both!
i got a 2 dollar raise at ulta because i said id quit if not lol... they love me.
besides boys, i love my life lately.. i think the only thing dragging me down is guys. that kinda sucks.
i need to shower!
♥
im so confused about my feelings lately... i really like chris and it sucks. so we hung out a lot, then we slept together and a lot changed... he acted like he liked me a lot, i mean hed hang all over me infront of everyone he worked with and hung out with, and would start making out with me infront of everyone and introducing me as his "girlfriend" then we got into a fight because for some reason adam told him i was talking shit about him.. and i wasnt, then chris finally believed me.. and we were cool and then we didnt talk for a few days, and then i invited him over and he said he was too tired and i told him not to make excuses and he didnt say anything. so i see him thursday and i know he saw me and he acted like he didnt. he hugged kelly and everything first, then i told him i needed to talk to him later, then kelly basically cussed him out and we talked.. he said he felt like a asshole because i was upset and how he treated me, blah blah and asked if we could talk the next day because he didnt want to do it at bar. i got over it and i hung out with raji that night, whatever.
so the next day chris called me and he asked what i did that night and he got jealous when i said i hung out with shahn and raji, kinda funny lol. so then he called me later and said he couldnt come over to talk because he was going to work, and so we talked on the phone and i said i didnt want a relationship and he thought i did. and then he was like "i thought to myself, i really like this girl but shes moving in two months, what am i supposed to do when you move"? i was like well idk, and he said he didnt know what i wanted, and i said well i dont want a relationship i just want someone to hang out with and have fun with. so he said okay and how he was soo sorry, blah blah and said hed call kiss and tell them he couldnt come in, and i said nooo go to work and he said he wanted to come over and i said no because i was still mad. then we got off the phone, and i finally decided he could come over. he came over, kinda awkward because we fought and he was saying sorry and how he really does like me alot blah blah, then we watched blow and ya know... then he left because he had to go to work at bar. so last night i went out and i saw him but i didnt say hey, i said hey to his friends first. and kelly and laura said hey to him and he asked where i was, and then he saw me. then he pulled me over to hung him and he was like heyy baby and kissed me and tried to hang on to me but i pulled away. then i went back and hugged him and he asked if i was okay and i said yeah he was like are you sure are you mad at me and i said no im good. then i walked away and he asked kelly and laura if i was mad at him and they said they didnt know lol. im just playing the game... but then i txted him later and called and he didnt answer... then i msged him on myspace and he didnt asnwer, fucker. idk i really do like him too, idk. it hurts but whatever.
then raji, i like him too.. but id rather chris. chris is who he is though, he works for kiss and every girl wants him... its just hard. i hate thinking about him. i may go where he works on tuesday but idk yet. im gonna hang out with raji more just to get over chris, because idk how me and chris are gonna work out and i know i can have fun with raji and not get attached.. but with chris i will get attached. i know i dont want a relationship right now but i feel like i may want one with chris at some point and i really dont want to... idk confusing...
i miss chris, it sucks.. i miss raji too because him brad and shahn are in orlando... gezz these club boys!!!
id like to "hang" out with chris or raji, but i gots my period so good thing im not... good thing me and chris hung out before i started it. i just want it more though lol. damnit i want them both!
i got a 2 dollar raise at ulta because i said id quit if not lol... they love me.
besides boys, i love my life lately.. i think the only thing dragging me down is guys. that kinda sucks.
i need to shower!
♥