(no subject)
i feel a lot better than i did the other day...
for one i thought ian was ignoring me or dead somewhere because i hadn't heard from him and it wasnt like him to not return my calls or txt. so i was actually really worried about him, ha. then me and bo were arguing and i saw bo, and when i see him i get in a depression mood that i cant get myself out of. i miss him a lot yes... so idk. when i see him it reminds me of how much i do love him and miss him more than anything...
bo said some mean things to me the other day, saying how ian was only talking to me for one reason and he snapped his fingers and i was basically his... and how anyone could see there is no future... he really made me feel like shit and a easy slut. i really hated how he was talking to me and i basically cussed him out, then said sorry later... i dont even know if he said sorry to me, oh well.
so yeseterday ian txted me at 8 in the morning saying "omg omg im so sorry i left my phone at work" i didnt txt him back till later that day. so he thought i was mad at him. so when i was at the pool he called me... i wasnt mad i was just more worried i guess. i was mad the other night but then i got over it. so then he called me last night after i got off saying how he liked how i worried or something and how he was worried the whole time that i was pissed because he knows how i think. then i told him some things bo said... i was like im not here for that just so you know and im not a easy slut. idk i mean yes he says things that makes me feel like he knows im not and he actually likes me as a person. but i know bo would say other wise.
i know there is no future, i dont really even know what this is that we have right now. i seriously dont think hed even bother calling me all the time if he didnt care. bo really makes me think and he makes me think negative and i hate it. he makes me question everything...
but i guess ian was worried that bo really got me thinking or something so as soon as we got off the phone last night he txted me. he made me feel alittle better but then i think about what bo says.. ah
i feel like i have big ol vains. they are poking out a lot lately... i think because im loosing weight. i lost 4 pounds in a week. gez.
im lead cashier, i got my raise... hell yes:)
whatever, why do i even type in this stupid thing? do i really want people to know all this, idk.
♥
for one i thought ian was ignoring me or dead somewhere because i hadn't heard from him and it wasnt like him to not return my calls or txt. so i was actually really worried about him, ha. then me and bo were arguing and i saw bo, and when i see him i get in a depression mood that i cant get myself out of. i miss him a lot yes... so idk. when i see him it reminds me of how much i do love him and miss him more than anything...
bo said some mean things to me the other day, saying how ian was only talking to me for one reason and he snapped his fingers and i was basically his... and how anyone could see there is no future... he really made me feel like shit and a easy slut. i really hated how he was talking to me and i basically cussed him out, then said sorry later... i dont even know if he said sorry to me, oh well.
so yeseterday ian txted me at 8 in the morning saying "omg omg im so sorry i left my phone at work" i didnt txt him back till later that day. so he thought i was mad at him. so when i was at the pool he called me... i wasnt mad i was just more worried i guess. i was mad the other night but then i got over it. so then he called me last night after i got off saying how he liked how i worried or something and how he was worried the whole time that i was pissed because he knows how i think. then i told him some things bo said... i was like im not here for that just so you know and im not a easy slut. idk i mean yes he says things that makes me feel like he knows im not and he actually likes me as a person. but i know bo would say other wise.
i know there is no future, i dont really even know what this is that we have right now. i seriously dont think hed even bother calling me all the time if he didnt care. bo really makes me think and he makes me think negative and i hate it. he makes me question everything...
but i guess ian was worried that bo really got me thinking or something so as soon as we got off the phone last night he txted me. he made me feel alittle better but then i think about what bo says.. ah
i feel like i have big ol vains. they are poking out a lot lately... i think because im loosing weight. i lost 4 pounds in a week. gez.
im lead cashier, i got my raise... hell yes:)
whatever, why do i even type in this stupid thing? do i really want people to know all this, idk.
♥