(no subject)
I keep hearing myself say "if only you were here, things would be different"... and I keep thinking "man, if only I was there...things would be ten times better"
I did what I made fun of her for doing. I ran away.
The old addage- if you can't take the heat, get outta the kitchen.
Well.
it got hot.
and I left.
I did what I was told to do...but running away from a hot kitchen doesn't keep the food from burning.
I'm sick of the extra crispy.
And I'm sick of walking on eggshells. I'm just gonna say it from now on. No more beating around the bush or caring about what other people may think of me. No more monsters in the closet.
And if you don't like it...well...I dunno. I'm sorry, but I can't keep not thinking of myself. It's killing me taking on everyone's pain. In the quest for mending the hearts of others, I have done nothing but shattered my own.
A lot has been revealed to me here recently. True colors have definitely been shown. For you and for me.
And I think I've changed a lot. I'm a lot meaner.
And I hate hate hate that. But when I'm nice, I get taken advantage of and I'm starting to think that the heartbreak that I am forced to hide and keep silent hurts even worse than the thought that maybe someone is calling me a bitch.
If you don't stand for something, you fall for everything.
I didn't stand up for myself...and I fell countless times and all that happened was that I was kicked when I was down.
Well here I am. Standing tall. Standing proud. Standing strong. And I really am hating it if someone thinks that I am mean...but I think I hated it worse when someone thought that I was week and that I could just be brushed aside. I am worth so much more than that.
And just for you who are wondering- this doesn't have to do with one isolated incident. It's a culmination of a few different things...and a long freeking time.
You can't live my life. And you can't live your life through me. I will no longer be taken advantage of or just shrink away because you want something different than what I want. If you can fight for it, then so can I. I will never ever get what I want or what I work for if I keep backing out to let you be satisfied. I have come too far and worked too hard to just sit back and scrape up left-overs. My time is precious and will no longer be wasted.
just to let you know.
And to You Who Looks Down On Me: get over your damn self.
I did what I made fun of her for doing. I ran away.
The old addage- if you can't take the heat, get outta the kitchen.
Well.
it got hot.
and I left.
I did what I was told to do...but running away from a hot kitchen doesn't keep the food from burning.
I'm sick of the extra crispy.
And I'm sick of walking on eggshells. I'm just gonna say it from now on. No more beating around the bush or caring about what other people may think of me. No more monsters in the closet.
And if you don't like it...well...I dunno. I'm sorry, but I can't keep not thinking of myself. It's killing me taking on everyone's pain. In the quest for mending the hearts of others, I have done nothing but shattered my own.
A lot has been revealed to me here recently. True colors have definitely been shown. For you and for me.
And I think I've changed a lot. I'm a lot meaner.
And I hate hate hate that. But when I'm nice, I get taken advantage of and I'm starting to think that the heartbreak that I am forced to hide and keep silent hurts even worse than the thought that maybe someone is calling me a bitch.
If you don't stand for something, you fall for everything.
I didn't stand up for myself...and I fell countless times and all that happened was that I was kicked when I was down.
Well here I am. Standing tall. Standing proud. Standing strong. And I really am hating it if someone thinks that I am mean...but I think I hated it worse when someone thought that I was week and that I could just be brushed aside. I am worth so much more than that.
And just for you who are wondering- this doesn't have to do with one isolated incident. It's a culmination of a few different things...and a long freeking time.
You can't live my life. And you can't live your life through me. I will no longer be taken advantage of or just shrink away because you want something different than what I want. If you can fight for it, then so can I. I will never ever get what I want or what I work for if I keep backing out to let you be satisfied. I have come too far and worked too hard to just sit back and scrape up left-overs. My time is precious and will no longer be wasted.
just to let you know.
And to You Who Looks Down On Me: get over your damn self.