long time, no update...
well, wow, it's been awhile. it's not that i haven't wanted to write, it's more like, how do i say everything that i want to say?
so, i got a new car. well, new to me. it's my grammie's 96 ford taurus. it's in like perfect condition. only 40,000 miles, remote starter, power steering (!!!!), power windows and locks. might not seem like a lot to u guys, but it's a big step up from my metro. we're keeping the metro, and i'm sure i'll be driving that a lot still. it gets way better gas mileage, and since i'm broke, it's way cheaper to drive.
dammit... lost my train of thought.....
oh... well, school's going badly. i haven't done any work for it and i bombed a test i took monday. it was to be expected. i didn't study. i just don't know what to do anymore about school. i desperately want to finish, but i can't get my act together to do it. we'll see what happens, i guess.
work is ok, i guess. it's work. i'm hoping to work 3-4 days a week next semester because i'm taking two night classes. i'm hoping to show them that i'm dedicated to this job even though i'm part time and in school. they don't seem to see it though.
i'm just at a crossroads in life. i haven't been able to help myself and very few people are willing to be in my life. it's not that i don't know i'm a mess. i totally do. i'm on antidepressants, i go to the shrink once a week, and i sit in my room all the time. the only thing i have to look forward to in life is fridays with alyssa. it just sucks. i let myself down all the time and i let everyone else in my life down too. i punish myself for it all the time. i just wish i could fix myself and end all of this endlessness. i just don't know what to do anymore.
anyway, i guess i should go get ready for the day. not that i want to. it's just the responsible thing to do. *sigh*
so, i got a new car. well, new to me. it's my grammie's 96 ford taurus. it's in like perfect condition. only 40,000 miles, remote starter, power steering (!!!!), power windows and locks. might not seem like a lot to u guys, but it's a big step up from my metro. we're keeping the metro, and i'm sure i'll be driving that a lot still. it gets way better gas mileage, and since i'm broke, it's way cheaper to drive.
dammit... lost my train of thought.....
oh... well, school's going badly. i haven't done any work for it and i bombed a test i took monday. it was to be expected. i didn't study. i just don't know what to do anymore about school. i desperately want to finish, but i can't get my act together to do it. we'll see what happens, i guess.
work is ok, i guess. it's work. i'm hoping to work 3-4 days a week next semester because i'm taking two night classes. i'm hoping to show them that i'm dedicated to this job even though i'm part time and in school. they don't seem to see it though.
i'm just at a crossroads in life. i haven't been able to help myself and very few people are willing to be in my life. it's not that i don't know i'm a mess. i totally do. i'm on antidepressants, i go to the shrink once a week, and i sit in my room all the time. the only thing i have to look forward to in life is fridays with alyssa. it just sucks. i let myself down all the time and i let everyone else in my life down too. i punish myself for it all the time. i just wish i could fix myself and end all of this endlessness. i just don't know what to do anymore.
anyway, i guess i should go get ready for the day. not that i want to. it's just the responsible thing to do. *sigh*