(no subject)
so, well, i don't know. i guess i should update this thing for those that don't really ever talk to me. but now that i've started, i hardly know what to say.
school started last week. i'm already behind. just a chapter though. i thought i had a quiz today on my syllabus and essay handout in history and systems so i read and reread and reread those. got up this morning to find out it isn't until wednesday. oh well. maybe i'll have just absorbed more.
work is still work. it's not the best, but it's not the worst. i'm now down to thursdays and fridays and the occasional saturday. sounds good to me! i just want to find something that i'm more interested in, i guess. but my concentration is getting school done, then i can think about work and the rest of my life.
i'm kind of stalling right now. i should be doing homework, or finding new work shoes and sneakers, or eating lunch, but i don't know what to decide to do. so, i guess that i'd rather be doing this...
things emotionally have been a roller coaster lately. i don't know where i stand in life. my therapist isn't seeing me anymore. i know i need to exercise, but i don't have the motivation, but if i do exercise, i'll have the motivation to do other things. i need to eat better. i spent all day yesterday in bed cause i didn't want to do anything, and well, i did, but i just didn't know where to start. ok, so not a roller coaster, just mostly down. but it's like i don't have anyone to talk to about it. i mean, i do, it's just they have their own problems too. and besides, hardly anyone calls me, so why do i always have to call them? i'm getting kind of sick of it. really, all i want to do is just scream at everyone. they can never look past my imperfections and i'm tired of looking past theirs. so, basically, i'm shutting myself off from the world. maybe things will get better sometime, but i highly doubt it.
school started last week. i'm already behind. just a chapter though. i thought i had a quiz today on my syllabus and essay handout in history and systems so i read and reread and reread those. got up this morning to find out it isn't until wednesday. oh well. maybe i'll have just absorbed more.
work is still work. it's not the best, but it's not the worst. i'm now down to thursdays and fridays and the occasional saturday. sounds good to me! i just want to find something that i'm more interested in, i guess. but my concentration is getting school done, then i can think about work and the rest of my life.
i'm kind of stalling right now. i should be doing homework, or finding new work shoes and sneakers, or eating lunch, but i don't know what to decide to do. so, i guess that i'd rather be doing this...
things emotionally have been a roller coaster lately. i don't know where i stand in life. my therapist isn't seeing me anymore. i know i need to exercise, but i don't have the motivation, but if i do exercise, i'll have the motivation to do other things. i need to eat better. i spent all day yesterday in bed cause i didn't want to do anything, and well, i did, but i just didn't know where to start. ok, so not a roller coaster, just mostly down. but it's like i don't have anyone to talk to about it. i mean, i do, it's just they have their own problems too. and besides, hardly anyone calls me, so why do i always have to call them? i'm getting kind of sick of it. really, all i want to do is just scream at everyone. they can never look past my imperfections and i'm tired of looking past theirs. so, basically, i'm shutting myself off from the world. maybe things will get better sometime, but i highly doubt it.