Addictive Personalities and Chance
I do not have an addictive personality. I get bored easily. However I can sit down watch people pass by at a coffee shop terrasse any given afternoon. I just want things, moments and time constantly changing to preoccupy myself. Otherwise my body will automatically kick into ressourcefulness gear and start poking boredom to become fun.
Another notch I can add to my insatiable accoutrement is that I will never be a gambler. I do not smoke because I got bored of my first cigarette. Must be the cold (err negative 40 with the windchill factor)day outside the cafeteria, trying to enjoy burnt leaves, while behind the window, those zitty high school kids are warm, eating, playing and just being. At that point I threw that cancer stick and never picked one up again. Same thing for marijuana: never got a high?!? To this day that still boggles me; perhaps "I" am my own buzz. I do not drink coffee, don't bite my nails, never pulled hair strands as a tick and since last night...will never gamble ever again.
At one point, as I pulled down that clutch-thingy attached to the machine, I thought: "what about left handed people?" that and "When am I going to win???!???", I gave up gambling then at that point. Moreover, at one point I got the three red 7's. Ok so I won!!!! I jumped and shouted. But as I looked up at the winning chart, if I would have inserted two other tokens, I would have won 14 000 tokens instead of a thousand. My fists never cringed at the same time my stomach was making moves similar to the orcas at Marine Land.
Gambling is not for me. It was fun. Short. But as I thought about it even more. One thing that gamblers have in common is optimism. That religeous cling to an odd that something positive will happen to them any time soon, that relentless hope that yes those red things will line up and take me out of my mizery. I, on the other hand, am not a postive wishful, rather I am a full fledge realist.
Since last night, my two cents kept me from winning and most importantly refrained me from another yet, neurosis.
Another notch I can add to my insatiable accoutrement is that I will never be a gambler. I do not smoke because I got bored of my first cigarette. Must be the cold (err negative 40 with the windchill factor)day outside the cafeteria, trying to enjoy burnt leaves, while behind the window, those zitty high school kids are warm, eating, playing and just being. At that point I threw that cancer stick and never picked one up again. Same thing for marijuana: never got a high?!? To this day that still boggles me; perhaps "I" am my own buzz. I do not drink coffee, don't bite my nails, never pulled hair strands as a tick and since last night...will never gamble ever again.
At one point, as I pulled down that clutch-thingy attached to the machine, I thought: "what about left handed people?" that and "When am I going to win???!???", I gave up gambling then at that point. Moreover, at one point I got the three red 7's. Ok so I won!!!! I jumped and shouted. But as I looked up at the winning chart, if I would have inserted two other tokens, I would have won 14 000 tokens instead of a thousand. My fists never cringed at the same time my stomach was making moves similar to the orcas at Marine Land.
Gambling is not for me. It was fun. Short. But as I thought about it even more. One thing that gamblers have in common is optimism. That religeous cling to an odd that something positive will happen to them any time soon, that relentless hope that yes those red things will line up and take me out of my mizery. I, on the other hand, am not a postive wishful, rather I am a full fledge realist.
Since last night, my two cents kept me from winning and most importantly refrained me from another yet, neurosis.