quite possibly the most coherent (or not) thoughts i've had all summer...
sometimes, we trick ourselves into thinking we need something. and we build a dependence on this thing that we need and can never obtain. there's a certain comfort and stability in needing something you'll never get, because it becomes such a constant and we become so lifelessly used to it. and then one day we have a shot at obtaining this thing. it feels refreshing and exhilarating for a while. but then we do something, purposely or not, to destroy our already slim chances of keeping this thing. after that happens, we snap out of our blinding delusion, see things for what they really are, and are somehow even more content than we were before. after the illusions are destroyed, we realize we can be happy, maybe even happier, without depending on what we once thought we needed. almost as quickly as this revelation occurs that we do not at all need this thing, we have another epiphany: we don't even want this thing anymore. what were we thinking? and that's when you have to wonder...maybe when we did what we did to throw away all hope of keeping this thing we so desperately needed, well, maybe that was just us subconsciously trying to let go of the most debilitating need we have experienced. maybe deep down we knew all along this was not what we truly needed or wanted, and we acted the way we did to prove this to ourselves, in some messed up way. and whether we did it purposely or not, we know everything ultimately worked out for the best.
that is what i learned this summer. thank you and goodnight
that is what i learned this summer. thank you and goodnight