yawn
the world is a strange and beautiful place, when you're walking home from a midnight shift , at six a.m.
it's neither dark nor light outside, and the world is kind of a fogging gray color with a mist, that brings everything to a shine.
there are no cars on the street. if you look around, you feel as though you are perhaps the only person alive.
it feels like the middle of the night, but everything is just waking up.
it makes you feel small. it's beautiful.
--------
yesterday, stan picked me up from work, and took me out to breakfast at the donut hole. i had an enormous amount of food. I had so much fun seeing and talking with him. it got uncomfortable though when he would joke around and touch me . . . i didn't know what to say, think, or feel.
i need him in my life. i really enjoy spending time with him. i just wish he understood that it can't be that way right now.
--------
i might move in with laura and justin for a while.
--------
grarr...i'm kinda freaking out about stan right now. i can't remember if we left on a bad note. i know that we kinda got a bit upset with each other, but i can't remember how we left. it's really really really upsetting me right now. i can't seem to think about anything else. i really want things to be good between him and i.
--------
i caught most of "the beach" tonight on HBO before i went to work. i really really enjoyed it, and i hope to add it to my video collection soon. i mean--- i admit some parts are really chezzy. it was a good one though, i got into it alot. i guess it's my beach fascination coming through....i dunno.
oh yah, by the way i went to the beach for a little while yesterday with stan. it was about 930am, and it was so beautiful. i layed down in the sand, and stan was standing up looking down on me. he had on a yellow shirt, and the sky looked great behind him. i really wish i'd of had my camara with me. it would've been a grwat shot. i always loved photographing him.
i clobbered him with sand. heheheh.
--------
i think i get to see joe tonight. it feels like forever since i've seen him. we don't hangout as much as we used to at all. we are both either working, or tired. things feel a lot different this way. it's confusing to explain. i think i liked it better when we all hung out everynight.
oh yah, i haven't even told you about my new job. i work the midnight shift. thus making me never available to hangout. beh. i hope the money is worth it.
--------
i'm having mixed feelings about so many things right now. i'm in that scared panic mood. i'm really worried . . . i wish i could stop. i guess i'll go to sleep. that'll help maybe.
it's neither dark nor light outside, and the world is kind of a fogging gray color with a mist, that brings everything to a shine.
there are no cars on the street. if you look around, you feel as though you are perhaps the only person alive.
it feels like the middle of the night, but everything is just waking up.
it makes you feel small. it's beautiful.
--------
yesterday, stan picked me up from work, and took me out to breakfast at the donut hole. i had an enormous amount of food. I had so much fun seeing and talking with him. it got uncomfortable though when he would joke around and touch me . . . i didn't know what to say, think, or feel.
i need him in my life. i really enjoy spending time with him. i just wish he understood that it can't be that way right now.
--------
i might move in with laura and justin for a while.
--------
grarr...i'm kinda freaking out about stan right now. i can't remember if we left on a bad note. i know that we kinda got a bit upset with each other, but i can't remember how we left. it's really really really upsetting me right now. i can't seem to think about anything else. i really want things to be good between him and i.
--------
i caught most of "the beach" tonight on HBO before i went to work. i really really enjoyed it, and i hope to add it to my video collection soon. i mean--- i admit some parts are really chezzy. it was a good one though, i got into it alot. i guess it's my beach fascination coming through....i dunno.
oh yah, by the way i went to the beach for a little while yesterday with stan. it was about 930am, and it was so beautiful. i layed down in the sand, and stan was standing up looking down on me. he had on a yellow shirt, and the sky looked great behind him. i really wish i'd of had my camara with me. it would've been a grwat shot. i always loved photographing him.
i clobbered him with sand. heheheh.
--------
i think i get to see joe tonight. it feels like forever since i've seen him. we don't hangout as much as we used to at all. we are both either working, or tired. things feel a lot different this way. it's confusing to explain. i think i liked it better when we all hung out everynight.
oh yah, i haven't even told you about my new job. i work the midnight shift. thus making me never available to hangout. beh. i hope the money is worth it.
--------
i'm having mixed feelings about so many things right now. i'm in that scared panic mood. i'm really worried . . . i wish i could stop. i guess i'll go to sleep. that'll help maybe.