New Years Day
I woke about six times this morning before I decided it was actually time to stay awake. The first time I woke up, I found myself on the floor, wrapped around my koloa blankey, shivering. I looked onto my mattress half wondering in my groggy state, why I was on the floor. As I peered up through my sleepseed infested eyes I saw my lover sleeping mouth open on top my giant Garfeild pillow. I looked across the room at my clock- 5:14 AM. I was freezing. Had I not been freezing, I wouldn't have had quite the guts to crawl back into bed next to Stan. My Dad was readying himself for work in the next room. I could hear the water running and the choking noises he makes when he brushes his teeth. I wrapped my arm around Stan's warm body. He was intertwined in my white comforter. I found the end of it with my finger tips, and joined him underneath. The last thing I remember was whispering "I love you".
The second time I woke up, was around 8 AM. stan was making some really adorable gurguling soundsfrom somewhere in the depth of his throat. I crawled out of bed this time, and found my mother standing in the kitchen eatting ginger snap cookies. I joined her for one, and she said something to me about "why had I been sleeping on the floor?". I went back to bed very shortly after.
Around 10 o'clock, the phone rang. It was Julie's mom. I let her go quickly. Stan mumbled something in his sleep that startled me. It sounded kind of like "Scott" or something related. He woke up right after saying it, and told me it was something about a cop. That he had been having a dream about working at WinnDixie and eatting butterfly wings. We fell asleep holding each other that time, and he was complaining about his wounded mouth. I felt bad for him, and hugged extra hard.
I can remember waking up again, and just staring at how beautiful he is. I looked from each feature on his face, to his belly wrapped up tight, and his toes sneeking through the bottom of the blanket. He was lying on his back. I rubbed his face gently, and he didn't wake up. He was more beautiful then I had ever seen him before. I thought about the way he held me on my sofa last night as we watched American Beauty. Going from sleep, to looking into his eyes. There are no words, to describe the love and passion I felt for him. I ran my hand down his body under the blankey. I thought about waking him up to the passion I desired, but instead I held him, letting him keep his dreams a little longer.
It was 12:55PM the final time I woke up. This time I sat straight up in my bed and shouted "Stan! It's 5 minutes 'till 1!" He woke right up knowing he had to go to work, and I ly down again knowing I hated he had to leave. We sat on my sofa breifly and watch a piece of Nightmere Before Christmas. Seconds later, he was out my door. I threw left over poppers at him as he left.
My family was in the "Green Room" playing pingpong. They heard the door shut, and joined me soon after he left. We ate cheese and crackers and played Yahtzee. Around the fourth or fifth turn, Stan called. I was excited to hear his voice so soon. I basked in the idea he longed to talk to me so soon after leaving. Then, he said "I have bad news." The news was that I couldn't go with him for the week to tallahassee. It was that his Dad wouldn't allow him the truck or something of that matter. I cried and cried and I think I felt my heart stop as I thought of him leaving Sunday. This Sunday. It'd be "so long I love you" till God knows when again. I sat on the floor crying still even after we hung up for him to go to work.
A few minutes later I came back out and finished my game. I lost. I signed Online for a bit after that surfing sites trying to think of a scheme to get me to Talle where I need to be. I called Wes, and he wasn't home.
At 4:40PM, I got ready for work. My uniform was tighter then it has been. I arrived 4 minutes late. The phones were ringing heavily when I got to work, but died after about 15 minutes. Jeanie said she'd pick me up on the 14th if I go to Talle. I jumped in joy. I got off around 6. We were dead.
At home, I played Online for a couple hours, then called Stan up at work. We talked. He's actually supposed to be calling me now, and I am very worried because it has been over an hour and he had said he'd call when he got home from work. {he left over an hour ago} The ride is not more then 20minutes. I'm getting kind of sad and tired. I've been crying very easily again lately. It's been causing lots of fights. I hope he calls me. Well, that's dumb talk, of course he'll call.
1:42AM
I just had a beautiful conversation with my Angel love. He said he'd planned on calling once he was snuggled up in his bed- not as soon as he got home. That made me really happy, because I like being the last person he wants to talk to before he goes to nigh night land. He told me how he loves to sleep by me. That made me feel so wonderful. So beautiful. You must understand how adorable and great my Honey is. Mmm. Life is so good, when he is near. Tomarrow morning he's going to come over and crawl into bed with me and wake me up bright and early.
I've drank so much caffine today. I'm totally buzzzed. Dizzy and everything. My momma thinks that's why I got all sickful tonight. Perhaps she is right, because it's true I have always been caffine sensitive. Deep inside me, I think there may be a ahh. . . . tisket in my tasket. If you know what I mean. Maybe I shouldn't be saying this here though. I just thought I'd mention I've been feeling hungover a bit each night this week. I'm making an appointment with OB/GYN for Thursday. So naturally, I have set off my plan for New Year's dieting untill after I find out for sure what the situation is.
I'm really in the mood to watch Notting Hill. I really like that movie. I love the part where they are sitting on the bench at the end, and she is preggers and lying in his lap. It so perfect.