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I sit here eating cold pizza, drinking watered down lemonade and wonder where my life is going. I'm barely 21 and wondering what am I to do with my life. Is this even a question that someone at my age should wonder. My individual, independent life has just barely begone.
It just seems the more I think the more inevitable it all comes, having to fall into that corporate grasp of doing something for the rest of my life to just get by. Something which I probably won't enjoy. Really, give me a show of hands. Who here actually-with-out-a-dout-100 percent loves their job? I'm talking about the job or jobs that pay the bills not the side jobs that bring in extra money (those are usually the fun ones.) If ya'll are out there, tell me so I can atleast have some hope that life won't be monotonous and unfullfilling because that is how it seems to me when I look at everyone I know trying to get by.
I'm giving into it despite my dreams and goals and misadventures I want to take. God, what happened to that girl I once saw in the mirror that had dreams of traveling every-fucking-where, who wanted was going to go to law school, be a fashion designer and be a superhero at night. What happened to that drive? At what point did I lose it, at what point did we all lose it?
Unfortunetly I think its when I learned what money was and did, so when I was like 15 and started working and paying bills and all that good shit.
I know people who truely live there life one day at a time, who pack there bag and go somewhere, anywhere, do odd jobs to get by, and they some how do. I wanna be that person, I think at some point we all do. Just leave all the bullshit at the door and take off, no looking back, just being. Sounds like a good plan, right? To me it does, but yet I look at the same person and think irresponsble, immature. I guess thats what society has instilled in me...the concept of that isn't the right way of doing things. How to untangle my mind from that god-aweful perception?
I am too young to feel this damn old. There are few things i enjoy in my life now, I still retain some but not many. Those usually flutter in and out.
I miss my friends, we all got suckered into work our 9-5s and sacraficed each other along the way. I don't blame them, I don't blame myself, its just how life happened to come. We all just became way to busy for each other. I would just like to sit down have some good wine, and rich conversation. Be us again.
I want to be who i was again, who I know I still can be.
It just seems the more I think the more inevitable it all comes, having to fall into that corporate grasp of doing something for the rest of my life to just get by. Something which I probably won't enjoy. Really, give me a show of hands. Who here actually-with-out-a-dout-100 percent loves their job? I'm talking about the job or jobs that pay the bills not the side jobs that bring in extra money (those are usually the fun ones.) If ya'll are out there, tell me so I can atleast have some hope that life won't be monotonous and unfullfilling because that is how it seems to me when I look at everyone I know trying to get by.
I'm giving into it despite my dreams and goals and misadventures I want to take. God, what happened to that girl I once saw in the mirror that had dreams of traveling every-fucking-where, who wanted was going to go to law school, be a fashion designer and be a superhero at night. What happened to that drive? At what point did I lose it, at what point did we all lose it?
Unfortunetly I think its when I learned what money was and did, so when I was like 15 and started working and paying bills and all that good shit.
I know people who truely live there life one day at a time, who pack there bag and go somewhere, anywhere, do odd jobs to get by, and they some how do. I wanna be that person, I think at some point we all do. Just leave all the bullshit at the door and take off, no looking back, just being. Sounds like a good plan, right? To me it does, but yet I look at the same person and think irresponsble, immature. I guess thats what society has instilled in me...the concept of that isn't the right way of doing things. How to untangle my mind from that god-aweful perception?
I am too young to feel this damn old. There are few things i enjoy in my life now, I still retain some but not many. Those usually flutter in and out.
I miss my friends, we all got suckered into work our 9-5s and sacraficed each other along the way. I don't blame them, I don't blame myself, its just how life happened to come. We all just became way to busy for each other. I would just like to sit down have some good wine, and rich conversation. Be us again.
I want to be who i was again, who I know I still can be.