Dan update
I have been very busy.
Dan and I have talked about some more stuff, which is nice. He admitted that his best friend thought I am more into him than he is into me, and asked if he thought it would become a problem. This vindicates my perception. I was having a hard time reconciling my feeling that he's just not that into me, with his effusive statements of love. He does complain about me, and he says it is because he is just too comfortable with me so he says all this stuff. It is nice that he feels that it's mutual. I certainly have gone out of my way to make things easy for him and be clear that I am fond of him. My feelings have changed a bit, though. I feel less serious in a sense; I feel detached from the long term outcome. I am convinced he will not want a child in a way I can agree to, and that he will remain young in the eternal male Peter Pan complex in part because he has not had a child of his own. I think that works for him, and I feel at peace about it. I am not sure he does.
We have also been talking more about polyamoury. Some days it seems resolved, and other days things are unclear again. It feels good to be talking, though. song lyric: "Let me love you 'til you get it right."
When feelings change, there's no going back. I still really dig him, but I worry I may wake up and feel just so-so and there's no return from that space. One weird factor is astrology. Our astrology is quite favorable. The 2009 summary for his sign has all this stuff about figuring out what they want in life, what is important. Big changes, letting go of the old, building a new life, finding new priorities. That influences me more than I may like. How I love to give up control and have an excuse to believe my own imagination! This is the kind of inclination that makes us a religious species.
I just feel really good around him, especially with our affection. He texted me "love you" this morning after I left his house.
Mona seems to be our major obstacle currently.
Dan and I have talked about some more stuff, which is nice. He admitted that his best friend thought I am more into him than he is into me, and asked if he thought it would become a problem. This vindicates my perception. I was having a hard time reconciling my feeling that he's just not that into me, with his effusive statements of love. He does complain about me, and he says it is because he is just too comfortable with me so he says all this stuff. It is nice that he feels that it's mutual. I certainly have gone out of my way to make things easy for him and be clear that I am fond of him. My feelings have changed a bit, though. I feel less serious in a sense; I feel detached from the long term outcome. I am convinced he will not want a child in a way I can agree to, and that he will remain young in the eternal male Peter Pan complex in part because he has not had a child of his own. I think that works for him, and I feel at peace about it. I am not sure he does.
We have also been talking more about polyamoury. Some days it seems resolved, and other days things are unclear again. It feels good to be talking, though. song lyric: "Let me love you 'til you get it right."
When feelings change, there's no going back. I still really dig him, but I worry I may wake up and feel just so-so and there's no return from that space. One weird factor is astrology. Our astrology is quite favorable. The 2009 summary for his sign has all this stuff about figuring out what they want in life, what is important. Big changes, letting go of the old, building a new life, finding new priorities. That influences me more than I may like. How I love to give up control and have an excuse to believe my own imagination! This is the kind of inclination that makes us a religious species.
I just feel really good around him, especially with our affection. He texted me "love you" this morning after I left his house.
Mona seems to be our major obstacle currently.