(no subject)
so what exactly do you do to make yourself feel better?
i figure
music makes me feel nice
and since my mp3 player has no batteries
and i haven't listened to it in a while
i'll buy some new batteries
oh
and those listerine spray things
those always make me feel cool
i'll get one of those
then what's next?
i go to a suprise party
for
my friend's seventy year old grandmother
yes
that's what i do
and look
suprise of all suprises
my ex boyfriend is there
(since they are cousins it's kind of a given)
oh i almost forgot
with him girlfriend
hmm
i'm definitely not bitter about the situation
and i can't really say it was awkward
ha
well it was nothing compared to what happened next
so i go to this spanish club thing
oh look
it's that..kid
you know
the one from another town
who when i went to a football game with him
and people asked if we were going out
said,
"i don't know, are we?"
hmm
i think i said maybe five words to him all night
great
excellent
entertaining
finally, home
what do i do with that?
i lose my listerine spray
and leave the batteries in the car
well
i guess some days you just aren't supposed to feel better
tomorrow will be better i immediatly decide
so i try to retie some old connections
because i genuinely want to entertain
irony is too sweet not to share
and ohhh
oops
yeah about that
funny how certain things like a person wanting to kill me slip the mind
well
tomorrow will be better right?
ha
yeah not really
all i wanted
was a simple chat
like old times
i had no intention of confessing my honest deep passionate love for someone
anyone
so i immediately dashed that hope by being honest when the person..
yeah i don't really know
so i basically get to bed late
can't sleep
toss
turn
i'm seriously like a five-year-old trying to get to sleep on christmas eve
finally
sleep
oh wait
i have to dream about things that throw me off
wake up
7:15
too early
sleep
wake up
sleep
wake up
sleep
wake up
look at clock
i can settle for 9:30
desparetly hoping i've gotten my answer by now
aha!
yeah
no reply.
well
what can you do really?
become a shell of your former self
that's what you do
apathy apathy apathy
how do you stop the apathy?
you paint
that's what you do
hm
nope
i guess not this time
you go outside and walk the dog
that's what you do
it is a gorgeous day
and it gives me hope that winter is not eternal
but no, that's not it either
ah
this is it
you get your batteries out of the car
and listen to your old friend
mp3 player
it takes you twenty minutes to look for a nonexistent cord to hook up the stereo
and when you give up on that
look for some headphones in your brother's room
because you're just too darn stubborn to take 2.5 seconds to go to your own room and get the one's plainly in sight
when you finally give in all you need is the player itself
..
okay, found it
all ready.
nope
batteries?
where are the batteries?
and just as you are about to give up on the whole thing all together
there they are
two inches in front of your face on the floor
phew
what a struggle
so then what do we do
we paint some more
nothing satisfying
by any means
while listening to music
fiona apple
eh, it's alright
paint paint
what's this?
a joni mitchell song?
oh hell no
i don't want to be reminded of my latest failure
next
sigh,
this really isn't working
what can i do to be fulfilled?
paint
hand
paint my hand
yes, that's what i'll do
so i paint
i sit and paint
in every color available in my poster paints set
i create something
and alien
everytime i look down expecting my left hand to appear
i am greeting with an alien
no skin
just colors
it looks nothing like me
mission accomplished
am i more fulfilled?
absolutely not
do i feel any better?
nope
but
is my hand painted?
YES
i figure
music makes me feel nice
and since my mp3 player has no batteries
and i haven't listened to it in a while
i'll buy some new batteries
oh
and those listerine spray things
those always make me feel cool
i'll get one of those
then what's next?
i go to a suprise party
for
my friend's seventy year old grandmother
yes
that's what i do
and look
suprise of all suprises
my ex boyfriend is there
(since they are cousins it's kind of a given)
oh i almost forgot
with him girlfriend
hmm
i'm definitely not bitter about the situation
and i can't really say it was awkward
ha
well it was nothing compared to what happened next
so i go to this spanish club thing
oh look
it's that..kid
you know
the one from another town
who when i went to a football game with him
and people asked if we were going out
said,
"i don't know, are we?"
hmm
i think i said maybe five words to him all night
great
excellent
entertaining
finally, home
what do i do with that?
i lose my listerine spray
and leave the batteries in the car
well
i guess some days you just aren't supposed to feel better
tomorrow will be better i immediatly decide
so i try to retie some old connections
because i genuinely want to entertain
irony is too sweet not to share
and ohhh
oops
yeah about that
funny how certain things like a person wanting to kill me slip the mind
well
tomorrow will be better right?
ha
yeah not really
all i wanted
was a simple chat
like old times
i had no intention of confessing my honest deep passionate love for someone
anyone
so i immediately dashed that hope by being honest when the person..
yeah i don't really know
so i basically get to bed late
can't sleep
toss
turn
i'm seriously like a five-year-old trying to get to sleep on christmas eve
finally
sleep
oh wait
i have to dream about things that throw me off
wake up
7:15
too early
sleep
wake up
sleep
wake up
sleep
wake up
look at clock
i can settle for 9:30
desparetly hoping i've gotten my answer by now
aha!
yeah
no reply.
well
what can you do really?
become a shell of your former self
that's what you do
apathy apathy apathy
how do you stop the apathy?
you paint
that's what you do
hm
nope
i guess not this time
you go outside and walk the dog
that's what you do
it is a gorgeous day
and it gives me hope that winter is not eternal
but no, that's not it either
ah
this is it
you get your batteries out of the car
and listen to your old friend
mp3 player
it takes you twenty minutes to look for a nonexistent cord to hook up the stereo
and when you give up on that
look for some headphones in your brother's room
because you're just too darn stubborn to take 2.5 seconds to go to your own room and get the one's plainly in sight
when you finally give in all you need is the player itself
..
okay, found it
all ready.
nope
batteries?
where are the batteries?
and just as you are about to give up on the whole thing all together
there they are
two inches in front of your face on the floor
phew
what a struggle
so then what do we do
we paint some more
nothing satisfying
by any means
while listening to music
fiona apple
eh, it's alright
paint paint
what's this?
a joni mitchell song?
oh hell no
i don't want to be reminded of my latest failure
next
sigh,
this really isn't working
what can i do to be fulfilled?
paint
hand
paint my hand
yes, that's what i'll do
so i paint
i sit and paint
in every color available in my poster paints set
i create something
and alien
everytime i look down expecting my left hand to appear
i am greeting with an alien
no skin
just colors
it looks nothing like me
mission accomplished
am i more fulfilled?
absolutely not
do i feel any better?
nope
but
is my hand painted?
YES