Megan posted this on Myspace and I had to put it on here- so true it's hilarious!
If you've been a restaurant employee (More Specifically Front of House):
1. You know that in the weeds is not a camping term.
2. You cant decide who you hate more: kids, old people, teenagers, or foreigners.
3. Youre pissed if you got a $10 tip on a $60 check.
4. You can figure out 20% like nobodys business.
5. You heavily debate putting on a gratuity for a big party. And may call in a second opinion to evaluate the table.
6. Youre familiar with the signature cocktail: water with lemon.
7. You don't have any idea what the special is and could care less.
8. When you go out to eat, you over analyze everything your server does. And even if they fuck up you still tip at least 20%.
9. You hang out at the server table.
10. You know about all your co-workers sex lives and drug habits. And you participate in one or the other; or both!
11. You know what the most dreaded side work is and how to avoid getting stuck with it.
12. Same goes for the death section.
13. You understand the importance of booths.
14. You know that an over cooked steak is the worst re-cook ever.
15. You want to kill the kitchen when they have 30 minute ticket times.
16. You will take the long way around just to avoid your table.
17. You hate making desserts.
18. You get weeded waiting forever for the bar to pour you a freakin beer.
19. You live out of your car.
20. You always have cash on you, yet youre always broke.
21. Your cash is usually still in your book days after you worked.
22. You know who sells the good drugs.
23. You never know what happened to the wine key.
24. You become a nocturnal creature.
25. Everybody on a Sunday AM shift has a hangover.
26. The busser is never around when you need him.
27. Getting cut does not equal getting out.
28. You need a manager card to wipe your ass!
29. A fuck up is always appreciated by the starving servers.
30. And youre all like a bunch of vultures when it happens!
31. When in doubt-you go with medium.
32. You use the term 86 in regular conversation. Yet you have no idea where it came from
1. You know that in the weeds is not a camping term.
2. You cant decide who you hate more: kids, old people, teenagers, or foreigners.
3. Youre pissed if you got a $10 tip on a $60 check.
4. You can figure out 20% like nobodys business.
5. You heavily debate putting on a gratuity for a big party. And may call in a second opinion to evaluate the table.
6. Youre familiar with the signature cocktail: water with lemon.
7. You don't have any idea what the special is and could care less.
8. When you go out to eat, you over analyze everything your server does. And even if they fuck up you still tip at least 20%.
9. You hang out at the server table.
10. You know about all your co-workers sex lives and drug habits. And you participate in one or the other; or both!
11. You know what the most dreaded side work is and how to avoid getting stuck with it.
12. Same goes for the death section.
13. You understand the importance of booths.
14. You know that an over cooked steak is the worst re-cook ever.
15. You want to kill the kitchen when they have 30 minute ticket times.
16. You will take the long way around just to avoid your table.
17. You hate making desserts.
18. You get weeded waiting forever for the bar to pour you a freakin beer.
19. You live out of your car.
20. You always have cash on you, yet youre always broke.
21. Your cash is usually still in your book days after you worked.
22. You know who sells the good drugs.
23. You never know what happened to the wine key.
24. You become a nocturnal creature.
25. Everybody on a Sunday AM shift has a hangover.
26. The busser is never around when you need him.
27. Getting cut does not equal getting out.
28. You need a manager card to wipe your ass!
29. A fuck up is always appreciated by the starving servers.
30. And youre all like a bunch of vultures when it happens!
31. When in doubt-you go with medium.
32. You use the term 86 in regular conversation. Yet you have no idea where it came from