i cannot believe in the one that i need...
I want to defend as I hold you so close to me.
You speak of peace; well how can that be? Surround me.
I can't believe the pain received and I can't believe what you said...
these past few days have been furkin crazy... my family came yesterday and it was so much fun! we all played cranium for like 2 hours.. it was mad fun. and then today we're just chillin around the house. my stepdad left for st. pete a while ago and he'll be back sunday or monday. i kinda miss him, it's weird without him here...thats something i dont say a lot. anyways so later my sister and i are goin to walmart. yay. ooooh! i got to back the car out of the drive way and let my sisters car out and i was all by myself and it was cooool! haha anyways
i'm so friggen sick of all this drama- all the lies that SOMEONE is telling. it's stupid. anyways.
chris is like the only person who understands me anymore and he's been there for me the past week and i gotta thank him for that. today he called and we talked for like an hour. we talekd about like everything going on and just everything and it was really nice. it's nice to have someone understand where i'm coming from. he's a really good friend i'm glad we're talking and we can trust each other.
anyways.. as the days go by, i'm getting better and i'm standing my ground but joe wrote me an email and it was kinda rude but... i dunno anymore. i miss him, but i know i shouldn't. ah- i guess this is normal but im not going back this time... something keeps telling me "you love him- stop doing this" but i can't go back- i really can't. too much pain. ah i dont even know how to collect my thoughts. i hate this. he said a lot last night like how i was the first girl to ever impact him like that, that he felt like a big part of him was missing, that he felt like chris replaced him in my life. well i dont know but i'm not going to feel sorry for him b/c he should know that no one will ever take his place in my heart. no one could ever amount up to the 3 years we went through together. and yes, chris is becoming such a good friend and everything, but that doesnt mean im all of a sudden forgetting about joe. i mean, yeah, i'm trying to move on but it's not like i woke up one day and said "oh- screw joe im over it" yeah right. i wish it was that easy. it's taking time and yes, joe will always be in my heart and no, no one will ever replace him and yeah i feel the same way... i feel like a part of me is missing. like my heart is a peice of cake that got thrown on the ground and stepped all over. in a million crumbs or peices. but i'm trying to get over it. no, i will never forget the love we shared, and right now, i still have love for him in my heart, even though i know i shouldnt and after all the crap he did to me. but it's not that easy to just forget about it. so it's taking time and things will get better, i'm sure. anyways. my hands hurt and i think my sister and i are goin to walmart soon so im gonna take a lil nap maybe before we go out.
You speak of peace; well how can that be? Surround me.
I can't believe the pain received and I can't believe what you said...
these past few days have been furkin crazy... my family came yesterday and it was so much fun! we all played cranium for like 2 hours.. it was mad fun. and then today we're just chillin around the house. my stepdad left for st. pete a while ago and he'll be back sunday or monday. i kinda miss him, it's weird without him here...thats something i dont say a lot. anyways so later my sister and i are goin to walmart. yay. ooooh! i got to back the car out of the drive way and let my sisters car out and i was all by myself and it was cooool! haha anyways
i'm so friggen sick of all this drama- all the lies that SOMEONE is telling. it's stupid. anyways.
chris is like the only person who understands me anymore and he's been there for me the past week and i gotta thank him for that. today he called and we talked for like an hour. we talekd about like everything going on and just everything and it was really nice. it's nice to have someone understand where i'm coming from. he's a really good friend i'm glad we're talking and we can trust each other.
anyways.. as the days go by, i'm getting better and i'm standing my ground but joe wrote me an email and it was kinda rude but... i dunno anymore. i miss him, but i know i shouldn't. ah- i guess this is normal but im not going back this time... something keeps telling me "you love him- stop doing this" but i can't go back- i really can't. too much pain. ah i dont even know how to collect my thoughts. i hate this. he said a lot last night like how i was the first girl to ever impact him like that, that he felt like a big part of him was missing, that he felt like chris replaced him in my life. well i dont know but i'm not going to feel sorry for him b/c he should know that no one will ever take his place in my heart. no one could ever amount up to the 3 years we went through together. and yes, chris is becoming such a good friend and everything, but that doesnt mean im all of a sudden forgetting about joe. i mean, yeah, i'm trying to move on but it's not like i woke up one day and said "oh- screw joe im over it" yeah right. i wish it was that easy. it's taking time and yes, joe will always be in my heart and no, no one will ever replace him and yeah i feel the same way... i feel like a part of me is missing. like my heart is a peice of cake that got thrown on the ground and stepped all over. in a million crumbs or peices. but i'm trying to get over it. no, i will never forget the love we shared, and right now, i still have love for him in my heart, even though i know i shouldnt and after all the crap he did to me. but it's not that easy to just forget about it. so it's taking time and things will get better, i'm sure. anyways. my hands hurt and i think my sister and i are goin to walmart soon so im gonna take a lil nap maybe before we go out.