Feeling sorry for myself today.
I hate days like this, and if you dont wanna read this then I completely understand but I could do with somebody listening and maybe replying, as I feel pretty down and it's easier to type my feelings out rather than speak them.
I did talk to my mum before, and she always helps..but I still feel like I need to spill my feelings out.
so there really isnt a huge problem,it's just me...I think I'm the problem. I'm 18, and I feel like ive had the worst luck ever in love....like, ive never really had a proper boyfriend and anybody I do meet, there seems to be some sort of sign on my head that says "Yeah, dont worry about calling me back". even when they are the ones who asked for my number...
So I wouldnt feel so bad and damn lonely if all my friends had boyfriends or dates, it feels like because I want it so much...the whole relationship thing, not too serious though, it seems to be impossible for me to find it....and I feel like all my friends are sort of leaving me behind, including my best friend who is 19, but shes only recently started getting luck in her love life, but in the mean time..I'm still here.
Now, I would understand if I didnt go out a lot...but I go out more than not, but I dont go out looking for guys cos thats just sad, but anybody I do meet...nothing happens. I feel maybe I'm approaching the whole thing wrong, am I going out to the wrong places? Am I being too fussy sometimes...because sometimes I do admit that I have met a guy, (like last week for example) and he was funny, and seemed nice...but he was quite drunk...but I wasnt attracted to him, so I couldnt really connect with him because even though he was a nice person, (so it seemed) I felt like there could never be a possible spark because even though I hate to say it...looks do matter, not as near as much as personality does, but looks do matter and I do need to be attracted to the guy atleast a bit.
my mum thinks I'm too young to be getting into a relationship, and she thinks I am better off single...but thats not how I feel, I dont wanna be single anymore...I'm not saying I want to be in a committed and really serious relationship...but just something would be nice, a nice guy to share things with and just have a good time with cos Ive never had that.
I wouldnt feel so bad if my friends werent all coupled up with guys...but they are. and its sort of left me feeling sort of insecure and a bit...confused with whats really going on with me.