I'm not dead yet!
and it's not done yet....
I've been thinking about you.
Do you remember that night?
It was newly July, and it had been hot that day. Just another meaningless sequence of hours spent waiting for the sun to set. I close my eyes and I'm there again, lying on that bare mattress, surrounded by half-primed walls, lazily eating blackish cherries and ripple chips. That was my first apartment, or the first I could lay legitimate claim to. The fridge was full of beer and cheese, the cupboards of pasta and mice. On that particular day I remember unpacking my arsenal of electric fans. Three, maybe four... but they didn't help.
That was the summer without TV. I was systematically overdosing on Benny and Joon... Willy Wonka, American Beauty - canned whimsy was building up in my veins like a slow-killing narcotic and my dvd player was failing quickly from overuse. You kept asking whether I had seen Dexter. I hadn't then.
We both woke as blue darkness fell, you and I. I sometimes wonder, was that what attracted you to me? Just enigmatic enough, the girl who feared the dark, but loved the night? Did you think I could love your darkness too? It was one of the things I loved most about us, the camaraderie of our shared nights. Long hours spent happily alone under the cold glow of the stars or black lights. These days, I'm dating an early bird. He is a wonderful man, and he always shares his worm, but my nights are lonely now.
Soft. Close your eyes, D. Remember the feeling of sitting on cold concrete that night? The chill of the nighttime grass underfoot, its harsh black and green crosshatching? That's what I most long for: not the gentle brush of your lips against my forehead (that annoyed me), but the orange-y halo the streetlights gave you. I miss giving in to the seductive unknown of the night.
We walked down dirty sidewalks and over grimy boulevards, pausing only once at the upheaval of a construction site. I might have liked that bit a little better than you did. There is something about the promise of things yet undone that leaves me rapt.
convoluted...
I've been thinking about you.
Do you remember that night?
It was newly July, and it had been hot that day. Just another meaningless sequence of hours spent waiting for the sun to set. I close my eyes and I'm there again, lying on that bare mattress, surrounded by half-primed walls, lazily eating blackish cherries and ripple chips. That was my first apartment, or the first I could lay legitimate claim to. The fridge was full of beer and cheese, the cupboards of pasta and mice. On that particular day I remember unpacking my arsenal of electric fans. Three, maybe four... but they didn't help.
That was the summer without TV. I was systematically overdosing on Benny and Joon... Willy Wonka, American Beauty - canned whimsy was building up in my veins like a slow-killing narcotic and my dvd player was failing quickly from overuse. You kept asking whether I had seen Dexter. I hadn't then.
We both woke as blue darkness fell, you and I. I sometimes wonder, was that what attracted you to me? Just enigmatic enough, the girl who feared the dark, but loved the night? Did you think I could love your darkness too? It was one of the things I loved most about us, the camaraderie of our shared nights. Long hours spent happily alone under the cold glow of the stars or black lights. These days, I'm dating an early bird. He is a wonderful man, and he always shares his worm, but my nights are lonely now.
Soft. Close your eyes, D. Remember the feeling of sitting on cold concrete that night? The chill of the nighttime grass underfoot, its harsh black and green crosshatching? That's what I most long for: not the gentle brush of your lips against my forehead (that annoyed me), but the orange-y halo the streetlights gave you. I miss giving in to the seductive unknown of the night.
We walked down dirty sidewalks and over grimy boulevards, pausing only once at the upheaval of a construction site. I might have liked that bit a little better than you did. There is something about the promise of things yet undone that leaves me rapt.
convoluted...