Fic: Hidden - Chapter 24/31

[sparking_off]

Title: Hidden
Rating: R/MA - contains violence, language and sexual references.
Length: ~48,000 words
Characters/pairings: Ianto, Jack, Gwen, OCs, mention of Rhys, Tosh and Owen. Jack/Ianto.
Disclaimer: The OCs are mine, anyone and anything you recognise from Torchwood belongs to the BBC.
Notes: Anything up to 'Exit Wounds' for Torchwood, with reference

Comments

[luvinthe88and20]

Oh shit.

[sparking_off]

*smirks* yup.

[luvinthe88and20]

Let us see how much you are going to torture us.

Also is it ok I friend you.

[sparking_off]

Yeah, go for it.

[hab318princess]

you cannot toy with us like that... sorry, you are and we love it

great update

[butterflycell]

hmmm... it strikes me that Anwen's causing a startling amount of trouble... *still isn't too sure about her*

And Ianto picking up and slamming everyone with a flick of the wrist? Very awesome imagery, but maybe it's a little too god-moder-y?

I dunno - still very fun to read though!

[sparking_off]

Ianto...is...*chews lip* complicated. And I spent a long time on this chapter fretting about whether his powers were too much, whether he was getting too...all-powerful. But I was told firmly by my betas that it's acceptable and believable, given he started out with a form of telekinesis, and...

Yeah, so I still have issues with this particular aspect of the fic, but there's only so many times it could be re-written!

[butterflycell]

oh, I totally understand! I always have a point at which I sit and think 'If I rewrite this again, it's going to go completely to the dogs, so I'll leave it and brave the upshot'

I think I have a problem with the 'all powerful' aspect to Ianto's powers purely because it makes his character verge on the annoying perfect-in-the-eyes-of-the-world-despite-minor-'flaws'-that-are-incredibly-endearing thing that Gwen has going on...

Plus, part of the thing I find so thrilling about Torchwood is the way that there's always a struggle to succeed or to even just survive that little bit longer. It feels a little bit like a quick-fix for Ianto to simply slam all those people to the ground. What would be the point in him ever getting into a fight again? There'd be no adrenaline rush or heart-in-throat feeling of 'will he make it?!'

But honestly, I think it's a really brave storyline to be going for and you're doing awesomely with it! Don't worry about my little niggles >< I will stay with this fic to the end anyway!! =D

[sparking_off]

No, I know exactly what you mean, and perfect characters like that irritate me, as well. There's a reason I went this route, and a reason I chose to do it in this way (can't tell you yet, dammit) but you're right in that it does mean there will be a certain amount of lack of adrenalise rush.

But then it's Ianto, and d'you really think he'll be comfortable using psychic abilities in a situation where it isn't necessary, given how uncomfortable he's been with it through the story so far? :p

[elanor12]

huh oh!

[holdingoff]

that's what i like to see. ianto popping people like bubble wrap.

[sparking_off]

As I said before, your imagery is disturbingly foreshadow-y...