Not "alienating" people from supporting our rights
It’s happened again. Well it’s never stopped happening. Tumblr, where common sense goes to die and fail goes to breed and thrive, had a rather reasonable post on what counts as allydom and what counts as the actions of a decent human being. And of course, we had a string of allies saying how “meaaaan” they were and they’re alienating people etc etc ad nauseum.
And then there’s Chris Kluwe’s rather awesome response to homophobic arseholery that should be embossed in gold. And what happened? While most have cheered, I’ve seen people gasping because of the swearing and disrespect. Really. I think his own words nicely sums that up. Now I could even see the point on “cockmonster” kinda, but swearing and disrespect? Seriously? Because the bigots bigotry wasn’t already rude and disrespectful?
And, of course, in response to be my criticism of the raging bigots who keep occupying the equality’s minister’s seat, I’ve been chided that I need to “calm down” and wait and “engage” with the nasty homophobic bigots otherwise how will we convince them to support us! Oh I am sabotaging us!
And I say fuck it. Yes I have been mean and nasty which means, apparently, a load of people are now going to spit their dummies out and no longer support GBLT equality.
Really I would question how much of an “ally” anyone is if they will decide that the entire movement of GBLT equality - or, indeed, any equality movement - is no longer worth their time or attention if one person who belongs to that group is unpleasant to them.
Even beyond unpleasant - even if I were a rapist, a murderer, a paedophile, a bad karaoke singer or someone who persistently knocks on your door of a Sunday morning to try and sell you something - it is still patently ridiculous, enormously arrogant and exceedingly selfish to dismiss an entire equality movement and an entire marginalised group because one of them isn’t a very nice person. Really, this is the bar you put on your support? This is the standard we have to meet to be worth of equality? Absolutely impeccable behaviour from all of us at all times?
This doesn’t sound like someone who cares over much about equality or justice to me.
But, beyond that, I think being all kinds of unpleasant is quite necessary to achieve true equality and to see who is actually allies.
See, I want a equality, I want justice and in that struggle I very much want straight people to support me. I want straight people to have my back. I want straight people at my side. I even want straight people willing to stand between me and the fire.
Full stop.
I don’t want a “but” there. I don’t want a “so long as” tacked on the end.
I don’t want people to support my rights - so long as I behave
I don’t want people to fight for my equality - so long as I’m nice and polite.
I don’t want my equality, my rights, my respect as a human being, contingent on my playing nice and following certain rules.
I don’t want to “engage” with people. I don’t want to have a dialogue.
I don’t want to have to convince people I am deserving of humanity.
I don’t want to BUY respect with praise and cookies and headpats.
I’m not asking for justice, I’m demanding it.
Equality is not a gift to be given, it is a debt that is owed.
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Also really relevent right here