The need to call out homophobia
One of the many many things about homophobia that make me rage is how readily tolerated it is - and how ready people are to excuse it, defend it and deny it.
It saddens me that I need to repeat this - but, if you think gay people are worth less than straight people, if you think we deserve less than straight people, if you think we don’t have the ( Read more... )
I think Sparky's earlier description of marginalized people as being like those bruised is fairly apt. Because we know we are bruised and sensitive, we are protective of those places; we hold back and keep space around us to avoid getting hurt.
That you're now feeling a little of that burden of protection and separation means that we're now feeling a little less.
When you tap on the bruise and we yelp instead of just pulling away further, that means, to an extent, we trust you to be an ally. We trust you to take on some of the burden of protection that we always feel, to be aware of how sensitized we are and to be careful not to hurt us. It means that to some extent we believe you when you say that you don't want to hurt us, so we're letting you know that you have so you can stop.
If we thought you were actively trying to harm us, we wouldn't tell you when it hurt. We would hide it to keep from giving you information on how to hurt us more.
We know that if you're not bruised, you're not completely aware of how hard or where you can touch us without hurting us. We know that you're likely to mess up. But we need you to be aware that when you mess up, it isn't a little thing. We've dropped some of our own defenses, and that has opened us to more harm. It hurts. A lot. And we're likely to yell and pull away from you. That doesn't mean we want you to give up and go away; it means we want you to be a little more aware of where the bruises are and to avoid pressing on them.
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I have absolutely no desire to cause hurt; you have given me food for thought, I plan on doing that.
Thank you.
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