The need to call out homophobia
One of the many many things about homophobia that make me rage is how readily tolerated it is - and how ready people are to excuse it, defend it and deny it.
It saddens me that I need to repeat this - but, if you think gay people are worth less than straight people, if you think we deserve less than straight people, if you think we don’t have the ( Read more... )
I didn't tell her I was bisexual or a stripper because I didn't want to put her in the position of having to lie to my mother, who is mentally ill.
During one of our long conversations at her home about, oh, six or seven years ago now, she made the following statement, "I don't think that gay people should be killed for it, but I don't think that they should ever have anything to do with children."
I tried to argue that most pedophiles self-identify as straight, to which she said, "I know that you think that you know everything-"
At which I interrupted with, "I'm bisexual."
The conversation went downhill from there, though she did end it with, "I love you."
We've barely spoken since. She sent me a letter advising me to get therapy. I wrote back that there was nothing wrong with me. I actually wrote considerably more than that, but that was the gist of it.
About three years ago I was well, putting my affairs in order because I was getting ready to have surgery for an issue that has since been resolved and I called her up and asked her if she was happy with the way that things were between us.
She said no, but there were things that were intrinsically tied to her identity and essentially, the way it is now is the way that it'll always be.
This was my favorite aunt and now I won't have contact with her. She still sends me presents at birthdays and Christmas and I really feel that I should just ask her politely to stop. If she can't accept me for who I am, I don't need her in my life at all. She's the mother of my youngest cousin, whom I was very close to when he was young, but now I can't feel comfortable around him because of what she said.
He'll be eighteen next year and when he is, I'm going to contact him and see if he'll keep the bigotry alive.
The worst part of this is that if you replace the word 'gay' with the word 'black', the argument completely falls apart, but no one ever wants to admit that. Or they're the type to think the same things about other minorities (and women, who technically aren't a minority) as well.
Great post. May I link?
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It cna be very awkward when it';s our family who are playing the homophobic game. I wish I had an answer for it, but there's no easy path to walk there
On the last I think it's one of the ways that various prejudices are different (not lesser or more severe because I don't play that game) one of the elements of homophobia is how acceptable it is in mainstream society and the media to be openly homophobic without backlash or repercussion. It's one of the unique quirks homophobia and transphobia have (all prejudices have their own unique faces). I think the primary fault of that one is religion.
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