Spirituality, symbols and respect - or why I stopped Beloved Feng Sui-ing our house
Musing on my past post about not being particularly fond of the idea of Beloved mapping out our house according to Feng Sui (and not just because I have no wish to reorganise all the furniture)
Basically, it comes down to this - if something is someone’s legitimate spiritual belief - religious, cultural and/or both/other - then it deserves a level of respect because of that.
It deserves respect because it is important to people
It deserves respect because it is a part of their culture
It deserves respect because it is a part of someone’s identity, their sense of self, the greater picture of them. Their culture, spirituality and beliefs are a part of them.
That is due a level of respect. Not respect because I agree with the beliefs - but respect because I respect them as people - and this makes up an important part of them as people, their identity, their history and what goes into the tapestry of them.
And part of that respect is not playing with their beliefs. These beliefs have reason and meaning to people - these are a part of people. When we decide to use Buddha as a garden gnome, or re-organise our living room because feng sui is fashionable, or wear some fake Native American jewellery because it’s pretty or wear some henna tattoos or doaist symbols because it looks cool n’ stuff, then we’re saying we don’t care how important it is to people.
We’re saying we don’t care about that person, that culture. We don’t care that that’s a part of someone. Our desire for a decoration or a fashion trend is more important to us than their identity, than their being, than their selves and their lives. It is extremely privileged, arrogant and, I feel, grossly disrespectful for us to say “my need for a garden gnome completely justifies ripping of a vital symbol of your culture, faith and identity.”
And it is arrogant and appropriative. We see not just something that is very much someone’s symbol and belief system - but we claim it. We make it ours to use, to brand, to distribute, to wear. And we not only claim it - we mangle it, we rip the bits out that look shiny and throw the rest aside. We wear the symbols but strip them of their meaning. We appropriate the pattern but ignore the spirituality, we copy the forms but never the reason. We take something of theirs that is so vital and important - and we turn it into a toy.
To me, if you’re going to take the symbols you need to take them wholecloth, you need to take the meaning with them. That is respectful - that is treating them as what they are - more than just pretty pictures, more than just an interior design technique, more than a cool tattoo, more than a unique way to be cool and interesting. You need to acknowledge and respect the more, you need to acknowledge that this isn’t your toy, that it isn’t yours at all. You need to acknowledge that it is important, that is meaning and value - you have to acknowledge what it means and what its worth and the people who rest parts of their lives and selves on these things.
In short, by all means use the symbols if you’re a convert - but not if you’re a colonist.
Now, for some caveats:
“Due respect” doesn’t make a system, belief, culture, spirituality or faith sacrosanct (hmmm, better make that “untouchable”). I would accord it basic respect - but that can be lost.
- If a belief or culture is inherently objectionable and damaging (e.g. being overtly bigoted, supporting destructive laws, etc etc) then it can and SHOULD be challenged, fought - even mocked and satirised. Not because we disrespect the belief or culture or spirituality - but because we vehemently object to the damage it causes and the harm it does. For me a major example of this will be the Catholic Church. I can respect it as a belief system and a cultural foundation and a pillar of vital importance in people's lives - but that respect is eroded by the damage and hate it causes.
- “Due respect” doesn’t mean adherence. I can respect someone’s beliefs/faith/spirituality while at the same time refusing to be bound by it or refusing to apply it to myself as I’ve said, such a demand is disrespectful to me. It means I will make reasonable allowances to let someone follow their own path - but I am not obliged to walk it with them.
Caveat on the Caveat
I don’t think “not making sense” is reason to not respect a belief or spirituality. Because no beliefs make sense. No religious/spiritual beliefs make objective, logical sense - and I include my own in that. Nor do 80% of what people do. We’re not rational creatures. I don’t think harmless and personal irrationalities are justification for disrespect.
Basically, it comes down to this - if something is someone’s legitimate spiritual belief - religious, cultural and/or both/other - then it deserves a level of respect because of that.
It deserves respect because it is important to people
It deserves respect because it is a part of their culture
It deserves respect because it is a part of someone’s identity, their sense of self, the greater picture of them. Their culture, spirituality and beliefs are a part of them.
That is due a level of respect. Not respect because I agree with the beliefs - but respect because I respect them as people - and this makes up an important part of them as people, their identity, their history and what goes into the tapestry of them.
And part of that respect is not playing with their beliefs. These beliefs have reason and meaning to people - these are a part of people. When we decide to use Buddha as a garden gnome, or re-organise our living room because feng sui is fashionable, or wear some fake Native American jewellery because it’s pretty or wear some henna tattoos or doaist symbols because it looks cool n’ stuff, then we’re saying we don’t care how important it is to people.
We’re saying we don’t care about that person, that culture. We don’t care that that’s a part of someone. Our desire for a decoration or a fashion trend is more important to us than their identity, than their being, than their selves and their lives. It is extremely privileged, arrogant and, I feel, grossly disrespectful for us to say “my need for a garden gnome completely justifies ripping of a vital symbol of your culture, faith and identity.”
And it is arrogant and appropriative. We see not just something that is very much someone’s symbol and belief system - but we claim it. We make it ours to use, to brand, to distribute, to wear. And we not only claim it - we mangle it, we rip the bits out that look shiny and throw the rest aside. We wear the symbols but strip them of their meaning. We appropriate the pattern but ignore the spirituality, we copy the forms but never the reason. We take something of theirs that is so vital and important - and we turn it into a toy.
To me, if you’re going to take the symbols you need to take them wholecloth, you need to take the meaning with them. That is respectful - that is treating them as what they are - more than just pretty pictures, more than just an interior design technique, more than a cool tattoo, more than a unique way to be cool and interesting. You need to acknowledge and respect the more, you need to acknowledge that this isn’t your toy, that it isn’t yours at all. You need to acknowledge that it is important, that is meaning and value - you have to acknowledge what it means and what its worth and the people who rest parts of their lives and selves on these things.
In short, by all means use the symbols if you’re a convert - but not if you’re a colonist.
Now, for some caveats:
“Due respect” doesn’t make a system, belief, culture, spirituality or faith sacrosanct (hmmm, better make that “untouchable”). I would accord it basic respect - but that can be lost.
- If a belief or culture is inherently objectionable and damaging (e.g. being overtly bigoted, supporting destructive laws, etc etc) then it can and SHOULD be challenged, fought - even mocked and satirised. Not because we disrespect the belief or culture or spirituality - but because we vehemently object to the damage it causes and the harm it does. For me a major example of this will be the Catholic Church. I can respect it as a belief system and a cultural foundation and a pillar of vital importance in people's lives - but that respect is eroded by the damage and hate it causes.
- “Due respect” doesn’t mean adherence. I can respect someone’s beliefs/faith/spirituality while at the same time refusing to be bound by it or refusing to apply it to myself as I’ve said, such a demand is disrespectful to me. It means I will make reasonable allowances to let someone follow their own path - but I am not obliged to walk it with them.
Caveat on the Caveat
I don’t think “not making sense” is reason to not respect a belief or spirituality. Because no beliefs make sense. No religious/spiritual beliefs make objective, logical sense - and I include my own in that. Nor do 80% of what people do. We’re not rational creatures. I don’t think harmless and personal irrationalities are justification for disrespect.