remembered musings from the other day
Yesterday I was walking home and was struck by a feeling of being full and content.
And it was all stemming from my intellectual endeavors which are spilling out all amongst themselves, and I am in love with the class I'm taking right now, what I'm reading, what I'm writing, and how I see it all interconnecting and fitting together So Perfectly. That for the first time FINALLY all the things which have interested me in bits and pieces are making sense and taking form and shifting into focus. From independent media, to public communication mediums, public art, sociology of public spaces, interaction, and communion, seeking it and finding it or lacking it in our American subconscious tedium which we've constructed around ourselves. (And yeah, I guess I'm just a sociologist at heart and I can't shake that :)
At least during the momentary focused moments after days of running around, working, writing, meeting with people, scribbling notes and thinking nonstop so it's been hard for me to fall asleep at nights this week. It gels, and for that one moment, a glimpse here, a whisper there, I see how it all Makes Sense.
So much going on, so many writing projects, but I am looking forward to most of them, and each time I find another bit of research or source material, I just light up. And i'm realizing how much I enjoy interviewing, as in how much I prefer being the one doing the interviewing, rather than being the interviewee. And as with all things, practice makes better. I'm getting more comfortable articulating myself and what i'm doing.
And it's moments like that which make me stop and wonder if maybe I've been fighting the idea of being an academic even though it's what I enjoy so much.
And yada yada. And then, once again, that familiar scent of doubt permeates my mind :)
And everything is just as it should be. And everything will work out just fine.
And I have decided I really want to move to Philly.
And it was all stemming from my intellectual endeavors which are spilling out all amongst themselves, and I am in love with the class I'm taking right now, what I'm reading, what I'm writing, and how I see it all interconnecting and fitting together So Perfectly. That for the first time FINALLY all the things which have interested me in bits and pieces are making sense and taking form and shifting into focus. From independent media, to public communication mediums, public art, sociology of public spaces, interaction, and communion, seeking it and finding it or lacking it in our American subconscious tedium which we've constructed around ourselves. (And yeah, I guess I'm just a sociologist at heart and I can't shake that :)
At least during the momentary focused moments after days of running around, working, writing, meeting with people, scribbling notes and thinking nonstop so it's been hard for me to fall asleep at nights this week. It gels, and for that one moment, a glimpse here, a whisper there, I see how it all Makes Sense.
So much going on, so many writing projects, but I am looking forward to most of them, and each time I find another bit of research or source material, I just light up. And i'm realizing how much I enjoy interviewing, as in how much I prefer being the one doing the interviewing, rather than being the interviewee. And as with all things, practice makes better. I'm getting more comfortable articulating myself and what i'm doing.
And it's moments like that which make me stop and wonder if maybe I've been fighting the idea of being an academic even though it's what I enjoy so much.
And yada yada. And then, once again, that familiar scent of doubt permeates my mind :)
And everything is just as it should be. And everything will work out just fine.
And I have decided I really want to move to Philly.