Andy,Ur a Star in nobodys eyes but mine.
I'm Back .. its been a long while but i have decided to grant all of u wonderful people with an entry.. i just havent felt like updating since my last entry..
NE water polo team has its first game tomorrow, so im expecting all of u to be there cheering us to victory =)
this weekend was unbearable boring i did nothing out of the regular.. but today me and katie and thomas got up early and thay came and got me at 9 and we hung out the whole day ... and we did nothing great but it was great to be with them both i love katie so much and she never fails to amaze me and thomas is nothing short of a great guy ...
I'll go back a few weeks and fill u in on my valentines day... it sucked but i spent it with someone that means the world to me so i wouldent change it 4 the world...i just wish he felt the same about me ...
nothing else has been going on ... i finally got the killers cd and i think its great... i advise everyone to go out and buy "hot fuss" u wont be sorry=) on that note i finally got my guitar fixed.. and i re-did my room ,its super snazy =) and i got my belly pierced =)
and this is on my mind at the moment and i have NO idea why i am writting this in my lifejournal and im most likely going to edited it later .... 4 those of u selected few that know about me and chris, will also know that he never calls me or calls me back and i was sick of it bc i hadent talked to him since valentines day and thats a long time ... so i was angry the other nite and i called and left a not to nice message on his cell in a nutshell it went somthing like this "if u cant call me back than i dont kno why i even bother to talk to u" its funny how quick i get a phone call after that...and that call dident go as i hoped either... we both yelled and got off alot of steam and he told me that he cant give me his heart bc i broke it so many times that its not there anymore, which dident make me feel any good .. and he basicaly saw no wrong in how he treats me (which is like shit) and he semi told me that he dosent want to talk to me bc hes to busy and he dosent want me to hurt him again .... and knowing me i fought till the very end and ended up with nothing ...im not ready to let him go yet... and i dont care what anyone else has to say on that subject .. it is what it is ... and i called him today to tell him that i was sorry 4 what i did but he wasent the only one that was mean and hurtful and that i wasent sorry 4 that .... and that if he wants me im here and im not waiting 4ever and im not throwing my self at him anymore ... and i will tell anyone and everyone and especially chris that i love you not matter what and im not ready to let what we had go yet even if it wasent all great and i just wish that u wouldent hold my past mistakes against me forever.. all i want is ur heart and ill take care of it this time and that is all andi cant take the heart ach anymore ...i have spoke my peace and i feel good i have put all of my mind out there yet again ... im gona go listen to some more killers and i hope that u all under stand me or at least see where im comming from ....
i love each and everyone of u
i La Yew <3 Melanie ...The ultimate optimist...