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i dropped off my best friend and my boyfriend at the airport this morning. i think this weekend is a preview of my swiftly impending life without them. and i'm already lonely. and already letting myself obsess over things that it is absolutely insane to obsess over. like donnie darko and mary jane dating. i don't actually know kirsten dunst but i'm still convinced that i hate her. and that she might actually care. and it's not a jealousy thing. i saw the good girl, and it sucked. no, this is absolutely a hatred thing. and a loneliness thing, and a fear of change thing. i keep thinking, why didn't i try to get into columbia, or something? why am i so stupid to think that i could live in texas? i hate pick-up trucks, country music, conservatives, and private schools. ugh.