4:35 PM
Title: 4:35 PM
Author: sparkaperture
Rating: PG-13 for angst and sexual references.
Pairings: Seunghyun/Jiyong , TOP/GD
Genre: Angst, drama
Summary: Jiyong meets "TOP" over the internet, immediately becoming attached. Yet, because of his own physical disability, Jiyong falls into a pit of harsh realization.
Notes: Wrote over a few boring classes, it's short but, hope you guys like. (:
He had met the man via LiveJournal.
His screenname seemed too cool to pass up, and he found himself clicking the 'add to friends' button. A few hours later, he received an IM.
topobsession: Yo. This may be pretty weird but this is liesandrhymes. You added me, so, I thought I'd snoop around your profile and you seemed interesting. Anyways, I feel like I'm rambling, haha.
Jiyong instantly smiled at the IM, imagining a faceless boy mumbling and rambling on. Biting his lip, he stared at the keyboard before finally beginning to type.
GDloveclub: We could start off with a simple 'nice to meet you' (: No need to be nervous.
topobsession: Pft, I'm not nervous. Just don't wanna let you think that I'm a creep or somethin'.
GDloveclub: Well, does this creep have a name?
topobsession: We're going to get along great, tch. Call me TOP.
GDloveclub: TOP! I'm GD, it's nice to meet you.
Jiyong managed to get along with the person named TOP, and soon enough, he knew a lot about him. He was 20 years old, living in Seoul in a small apartment by himself.
GDloveclub: You're so lucky! I have to deal with an annoying mom.
topobsession: Are you kidding me? I wish my mom was around to wash my clothes and cook.
TOP was an inspiring actor, and was majoring in the theater arts. He also found out he was bisexual, but too masculine for his own good.
topobsession: I would never let a guy put it in me, that feels like a reversed shit.
Jiyong laughed out loud, shaking his head.
GDloveclub: That's GROSS. And it can't be that bad.
topobsession: Yeah? Do you know?
But Jiyong could never know. Paralyzed from the waist down, he was forced into a wheelchair, only available to fantasize but never feel. Jiyong lied, and said that he was studying photography at the local art school, and was only staying at his mom's to save money. And for a hobby, he would sometimes swim.
topobsession: Photography? That's boss, man! And this is embarassing but I don't even know how to swim.
The smile on Jiyong's face was bitter and distant before his fingers typed out words he could not recognize.
GDloveclub: Maybe I'll teach you. (: For some acting lessons.
topobsession: Deal.
In reality, Jiyong takes online classes majoring in Literature, and stays with his mother because he can't even get out of bed without someone having to pull him out. For a hobby, he sits at the computer for hours, diving himself into a fantasy world where he could be what he desired, until someone started to pick at the truth. Someone like TOP. It was a while until TOP requested photos of himself, causing Jiyong's heart to race, and his fingers start to fumble as he looked for his digital camera, his hand working at the wheel of his chair. Thirty minutes later, Jiyong had decent photographs. From the waist up.
topobsession: ...
GDloveclub: ...What?
topobsession: You're fucking CUTE.
GDloveclub: Eh?!
Jiyong's cheeks blushed and he hoped TOP was pulling one of his cruel jokes over the internet.
topobsession: Blonde hair? It looks nice on you, cute lips too.
GDloveclub: ajshdaks shut up.
topobsession: You look like an artist, forreal man.
Jiyong stared at the link before cautiously moving his mouse to click on the image file. The photo slowly loaded to reveal hair, eyes, nose, lips until Jiyong noticed he was no longer breathing. He spent what felt like hours staring at the beautiful man he could only visualize through words until now. Jiyong admired his deep-set sharp eyes, and the hint of a warm smile paired with his short, dark hair.
topobsession: Did I scare you off, haha.
GDloveclub: No, no. You're gorgeous.
topobsession: Thanks, but, I'm nothing special.
GDloveclub: I'm serious!
topobsession: Right back at 'cha. Got a cam?
Jiyong soon spent his days waiting for TOP to sign on, trying not to grin when he accepted the webcam request. With no mics available, they relied on facial expressions and text. TOP would seem to laugh when Jiyong grinned while TOP showed his new robot to his collection, or seem to listen intently when they would type about serious issues.
It was soon until TOP took over Jiyong's thoughts, and he began to fantaize. Holding hands with him...hearing his voice in his ear...the smirk on his face when he would tease him. They would occassionally kiss, Jiyong imagining it to be absolutely perfect and he would watch his ...boyfriend on the stage, admiring him from afar. Yet, just as soon as he started fantasizing, reality came just as fast to throw him down.
topobsession: You should come visit me, you're not that far away and I'm sure it'd be just a bus ride or something.
Jiyong's heart stopped, and a horrible feeling filled his chest, hallowing out his heart.
topobsession: Why do you look so sad?
Eyes flickered to the screen to show TOP offering a worried expression. Jiyong tried to blink back tears and his lips curved into a small smile.
GDloveclub: I'd love to, but, I don't know when. Finals are coming up and I'll have a lot of projects due.
Reality was, there was no way he could get to Seoul by himself. His mother would have to drive him, and Jiyong could not even imagine the reaction TOP would have when he saw...him. He would stare at his legs, and contemplate whether or not he would feel too much pain if he sawed them off, or if he would lose enough blood to pass out and die. Jiyong wanted to scream out, bang his fists against the wall, and question God why he had to be like this. Yet, the words never left his mouth. Instead of the computer, Jiyong's bed became his sanctuary. Jiyong missed TOP so much...but he didn't deserve him. TOP had a life going for him, might even become famous. Jiyong was trapped in his own body, and with fantasies that would soon rot him to nothing.
topobsession: No cam today?
GDloveclub: No, it's not working.
Lies.
topobsession: Well, I wanted to tell you that I'm moving to America! To study in California!
Jiyong had never cried so much.
topobsession: Sorry for not talking too much, the time zone here is CRAZY! I never know what time it is over there.
Conversation was a scarce happening and it soon resulted to small talk.
topobsession: I'm fine, a shitload of work! You?
GDloveclub: It's okay...same old shit. Look, I have to tell you something...
topobsession: SHIT! I gotta go. I promise I'll talk to you later this weekend.
Words were quick to slip away and Jiyong knew he was not a priority in TOP's life.
GDloveclub: TOP...
topobsession signed off at 4:35PM
Fin.
Author: sparkaperture
Rating: PG-13 for angst and sexual references.
Pairings: Seunghyun/Jiyong , TOP/GD
Genre: Angst, drama
Summary: Jiyong meets "TOP" over the internet, immediately becoming attached. Yet, because of his own physical disability, Jiyong falls into a pit of harsh realization.
Notes: Wrote over a few boring classes, it's short but, hope you guys like. (:
He had met the man via LiveJournal.
His screenname seemed too cool to pass up, and he found himself clicking the 'add to friends' button. A few hours later, he received an IM.
topobsession: Yo. This may be pretty weird but this is liesandrhymes. You added me, so, I thought I'd snoop around your profile and you seemed interesting. Anyways, I feel like I'm rambling, haha.
Jiyong instantly smiled at the IM, imagining a faceless boy mumbling and rambling on. Biting his lip, he stared at the keyboard before finally beginning to type.
GDloveclub: We could start off with a simple 'nice to meet you' (: No need to be nervous.
topobsession: Pft, I'm not nervous. Just don't wanna let you think that I'm a creep or somethin'.
GDloveclub: Well, does this creep have a name?
topobsession: We're going to get along great, tch. Call me TOP.
GDloveclub: TOP! I'm GD, it's nice to meet you.
Jiyong managed to get along with the person named TOP, and soon enough, he knew a lot about him. He was 20 years old, living in Seoul in a small apartment by himself.
GDloveclub: You're so lucky! I have to deal with an annoying mom.
topobsession: Are you kidding me? I wish my mom was around to wash my clothes and cook.
TOP was an inspiring actor, and was majoring in the theater arts. He also found out he was bisexual, but too masculine for his own good.
topobsession: I would never let a guy put it in me, that feels like a reversed shit.
Jiyong laughed out loud, shaking his head.
GDloveclub: That's GROSS. And it can't be that bad.
topobsession: Yeah? Do you know?
But Jiyong could never know. Paralyzed from the waist down, he was forced into a wheelchair, only available to fantasize but never feel. Jiyong lied, and said that he was studying photography at the local art school, and was only staying at his mom's to save money. And for a hobby, he would sometimes swim.
topobsession: Photography? That's boss, man! And this is embarassing but I don't even know how to swim.
The smile on Jiyong's face was bitter and distant before his fingers typed out words he could not recognize.
GDloveclub: Maybe I'll teach you. (: For some acting lessons.
topobsession: Deal.
In reality, Jiyong takes online classes majoring in Literature, and stays with his mother because he can't even get out of bed without someone having to pull him out. For a hobby, he sits at the computer for hours, diving himself into a fantasy world where he could be what he desired, until someone started to pick at the truth. Someone like TOP. It was a while until TOP requested photos of himself, causing Jiyong's heart to race, and his fingers start to fumble as he looked for his digital camera, his hand working at the wheel of his chair. Thirty minutes later, Jiyong had decent photographs. From the waist up.
topobsession: ...
GDloveclub: ...What?
topobsession: You're fucking CUTE.
GDloveclub: Eh?!
Jiyong's cheeks blushed and he hoped TOP was pulling one of his cruel jokes over the internet.
topobsession: Blonde hair? It looks nice on you, cute lips too.
GDloveclub: ajshdaks shut up.
topobsession: You look like an artist, forreal man.
Jiyong stared at the link before cautiously moving his mouse to click on the image file. The photo slowly loaded to reveal hair, eyes, nose, lips until Jiyong noticed he was no longer breathing. He spent what felt like hours staring at the beautiful man he could only visualize through words until now. Jiyong admired his deep-set sharp eyes, and the hint of a warm smile paired with his short, dark hair.
topobsession: Did I scare you off, haha.
GDloveclub: No, no. You're gorgeous.
topobsession: Thanks, but, I'm nothing special.
GDloveclub: I'm serious!
topobsession: Right back at 'cha. Got a cam?
Jiyong soon spent his days waiting for TOP to sign on, trying not to grin when he accepted the webcam request. With no mics available, they relied on facial expressions and text. TOP would seem to laugh when Jiyong grinned while TOP showed his new robot to his collection, or seem to listen intently when they would type about serious issues.
It was soon until TOP took over Jiyong's thoughts, and he began to fantaize. Holding hands with him...hearing his voice in his ear...the smirk on his face when he would tease him. They would occassionally kiss, Jiyong imagining it to be absolutely perfect and he would watch his ...boyfriend on the stage, admiring him from afar. Yet, just as soon as he started fantasizing, reality came just as fast to throw him down.
topobsession: You should come visit me, you're not that far away and I'm sure it'd be just a bus ride or something.
Jiyong's heart stopped, and a horrible feeling filled his chest, hallowing out his heart.
topobsession: Why do you look so sad?
Eyes flickered to the screen to show TOP offering a worried expression. Jiyong tried to blink back tears and his lips curved into a small smile.
GDloveclub: I'd love to, but, I don't know when. Finals are coming up and I'll have a lot of projects due.
Reality was, there was no way he could get to Seoul by himself. His mother would have to drive him, and Jiyong could not even imagine the reaction TOP would have when he saw...him. He would stare at his legs, and contemplate whether or not he would feel too much pain if he sawed them off, or if he would lose enough blood to pass out and die. Jiyong wanted to scream out, bang his fists against the wall, and question God why he had to be like this. Yet, the words never left his mouth. Instead of the computer, Jiyong's bed became his sanctuary. Jiyong missed TOP so much...but he didn't deserve him. TOP had a life going for him, might even become famous. Jiyong was trapped in his own body, and with fantasies that would soon rot him to nothing.
topobsession: No cam today?
GDloveclub: No, it's not working.
Lies.
topobsession: Well, I wanted to tell you that I'm moving to America! To study in California!
Jiyong had never cried so much.
topobsession: Sorry for not talking too much, the time zone here is CRAZY! I never know what time it is over there.
Conversation was a scarce happening and it soon resulted to small talk.
topobsession: I'm fine, a shitload of work! You?
GDloveclub: It's okay...same old shit. Look, I have to tell you something...
topobsession: SHIT! I gotta go. I promise I'll talk to you later this weekend.
Words were quick to slip away and Jiyong knew he was not a priority in TOP's life.
GDloveclub: TOP...
topobsession signed off at 4:35PM
Fin.