..but I just feel like crying.
Today is the last day of school. I should be celebrating; instead, I come home to a computer screen. Why is that?
The simple fact is, no one wants me. I don't know how many people I asked, or even refrained from asking because they told me they were doing this and that with such and so group. I don't mind being in front of the computer; I just want to bad to be somewhere else with someone, not alone to dwell on myself. I came home and practically cried after Sirenna gave me a ride just because. This really shouldn't bother me; I've dealt with it all my life, but it just is.
I am thankful beyond belief to have the friends that I have. I just don't think any of them really connect because they're too busy connecting with someone else.
Speaking of depressing things, I had a dream after my Algebra II final. It started off in the car. Ally was driving me to school and we were talking. I think we were talking about the past, because I said, "At least I'm not [censored]," and she said, "You might as well be him." Right when she said that, we got to school. We went to the normal sitting spot, but just Sirenna and Hope were there. When we got there, Hope and Ally left me and Sirenna there. I tried to talk to Sirenna, but all she would say is no. I tried asking a few questions and the answer was always no. I don't really get it.
Things are looking okay though because Hope came this morning and was like, "I found out summer school starts next week. Luckily it's Tuesday." We can still go to Chicago and meet up with Becky, Beth, and Rachel. I would seriously start bawling if that got cancelled. Also, I was lucky to get that ride from Sirenna because she almost didn't answer her cell phone. That would've been disasterous.
At least I am not crying right now, right?
The simple fact is, no one wants me. I don't know how many people I asked, or even refrained from asking because they told me they were doing this and that with such and so group. I don't mind being in front of the computer; I just want to bad to be somewhere else with someone, not alone to dwell on myself. I came home and practically cried after Sirenna gave me a ride just because. This really shouldn't bother me; I've dealt with it all my life, but it just is.
I am thankful beyond belief to have the friends that I have. I just don't think any of them really connect because they're too busy connecting with someone else.
Speaking of depressing things, I had a dream after my Algebra II final. It started off in the car. Ally was driving me to school and we were talking. I think we were talking about the past, because I said, "At least I'm not [censored]," and she said, "You might as well be him." Right when she said that, we got to school. We went to the normal sitting spot, but just Sirenna and Hope were there. When we got there, Hope and Ally left me and Sirenna there. I tried to talk to Sirenna, but all she would say is no. I tried asking a few questions and the answer was always no. I don't really get it.
Things are looking okay though because Hope came this morning and was like, "I found out summer school starts next week. Luckily it's Tuesday." We can still go to Chicago and meet up with Becky, Beth, and Rachel. I would seriously start bawling if that got cancelled. Also, I was lucky to get that ride from Sirenna because she almost didn't answer her cell phone. That would've been disasterous.
At least I am not crying right now, right?