8 Sad, Sad Stories
Well, well, well! I must admit I'm pleased to see Hogwarts finally acknowledge that there are students who were not having their very specific and VERY serious needs met, myself included. Ah! When I think of the long, lonely nights I've spent without what certain people would call a "proper outlet", it's enough to make me so sad, sad, sad that it makes my teeth grind!!
So naturally I signed up for that date action. As a true gentleman always announces that he is a horrible scoundrel, I must warn that whoever bids on me will be pounded into oblivion, and I fully expect - no, no, no, anticipate! - for you to try the same against me! I really, really hate to be disappointed.
[filtered to Gryffindors, with a clear emphasis on the Quidditch team]
Report on your state of mind! I hope none of you are so distracted by the upcoming events that you fail to give 1000% at the upcoming game, for example! Because as you know, extra grueling practices are sweeter than even the most sublime Halloween candy, and I am INCREDIBLY eager to hand them out! [/filter]
[ultra-filtered to Roxie Ritchi]
I may have a very interesting proposition for you![/filter]
So naturally I signed up for that date action. As a true gentleman always announces that he is a horrible scoundrel, I must warn that whoever bids on me will be pounded into oblivion, and I fully expect - no, no, no, anticipate! - for you to try the same against me! I really, really hate to be disappointed.
[filtered to Gryffindors, with a clear emphasis on the Quidditch team]
Report on your state of mind! I hope none of you are so distracted by the upcoming events that you fail to give 1000% at the upcoming game, for example! Because as you know, extra grueling practices are sweeter than even the most sublime Halloween candy, and I am INCREDIBLY eager to hand them out! [/filter]
[ultra-filtered to Roxie Ritchi]
I may have a very interesting proposition for you![/filter]