sorry...
...I haven't posted in so long. between getting an apartment, my job, registering for classes, and, of course, Brenna, I have been very very busy. (and, as I'm sure you all have noticed, us LJ'ers tend to not post nearly as much when things are going well, so, just take my absence as a sign that there is not much to complain about.)
well, Jess, Mattikins and I got an apartment. it's at 2428 Peppertree Lane in the heart of Costa Mesa, right near South Coast Plaza, on the border with Newport Beach. me and Jess went to go visit it the other day... I love it. new carpeting, new paint, new light fixtures, a washer and dryer right there... big living room. overall, like it like it like it. we are moving in September 1st (though I might not be able to move in until September 2nd, which is when I get paid hehehehe)
I put in my two weeks' at work last Sunday. so my last day should be the 29th. several reasons for leaving: too little pay, bad boss, bad hours... and then when I move into my apartment, the pay will become way too little, considering how far I will be trekking. and I think I need a job that will give me more consistent hours, allowing for things like
...school. psychobiology, political science, and english. $259.
Brenna and I are approaching our first month together... tomorrow. I feel bad because she is -obviously- not an anniversary person and I am. I understand the logic in the idea of celebrating every day like it's an anniversary... but why not celebrate a day simply to commemorate how long you've been together? I understand that it is silly and childish to celebrate a simple 31 days of being together, but frankly I waited for it and I feel that it is very worth celebrating. god, I'm so lame. I bought her a present last week. I'm afraid she won't like it.
which brings me to my next topic. fear. I have already dealt with so much bullshit in my life. my parents divorcing, being ignored by the opposite gender all throughout middle school and high school, the break-up with jaimie, my brother tom passing away last month... is it wrong of me to feel at least somewhat insecure about everything with brenna?
I mean, she broke up with her boyfriend of one year a little under two months ago, and here I am quite afraid that I am some kind of rebound. I know it doesn't make any sense, really, and I truly want to be a more trusting person, but it is so hard. overall, she is incredibly good to me, but I know (from experience) that even good people are capable of bad things. not to say that I even come close to thinking that way about her, just that I am not 99% certain about our relationship.
it makes me so sad sometimes. we fight every now and then, and I can't for the life of me remember if me and jaimie fought at the start of our relationship. I think it has something to do with Brenna's on-again, off-again contact (and constant fights) with her ex-boyfriend. I have no problem with them having contact, or being friends... I just want it to be a set way for once. since they broke up, it's been this friends / fighting exes trade-off. it majorly stresses me out.
overall, though, I am very happy. we went up to SJ for my brother's birthday a few weekends ago, and had a blast. we went up to Russian Hill in SF and saw Garden State, ate at this awesome little coffee shop and acted weird. got kinda lost, which was fun. ran down a deserted street. made plans to move there one day, and have her hot, happy, dumb kids be friends with my sad, ugly, smart kids.
grrr... I just feel like we are missing out on something. we're happy, but I feel like we could be happier... well, what can I do? just my best, I guess... <3
well, Jess, Mattikins and I got an apartment. it's at 2428 Peppertree Lane in the heart of Costa Mesa, right near South Coast Plaza, on the border with Newport Beach. me and Jess went to go visit it the other day... I love it. new carpeting, new paint, new light fixtures, a washer and dryer right there... big living room. overall, like it like it like it. we are moving in September 1st (though I might not be able to move in until September 2nd, which is when I get paid hehehehe)
I put in my two weeks' at work last Sunday. so my last day should be the 29th. several reasons for leaving: too little pay, bad boss, bad hours... and then when I move into my apartment, the pay will become way too little, considering how far I will be trekking. and I think I need a job that will give me more consistent hours, allowing for things like
...school. psychobiology, political science, and english. $259.
Brenna and I are approaching our first month together... tomorrow. I feel bad because she is -obviously- not an anniversary person and I am. I understand the logic in the idea of celebrating every day like it's an anniversary... but why not celebrate a day simply to commemorate how long you've been together? I understand that it is silly and childish to celebrate a simple 31 days of being together, but frankly I waited for it and I feel that it is very worth celebrating. god, I'm so lame. I bought her a present last week. I'm afraid she won't like it.
which brings me to my next topic. fear. I have already dealt with so much bullshit in my life. my parents divorcing, being ignored by the opposite gender all throughout middle school and high school, the break-up with jaimie, my brother tom passing away last month... is it wrong of me to feel at least somewhat insecure about everything with brenna?
I mean, she broke up with her boyfriend of one year a little under two months ago, and here I am quite afraid that I am some kind of rebound. I know it doesn't make any sense, really, and I truly want to be a more trusting person, but it is so hard. overall, she is incredibly good to me, but I know (from experience) that even good people are capable of bad things. not to say that I even come close to thinking that way about her, just that I am not 99% certain about our relationship.
it makes me so sad sometimes. we fight every now and then, and I can't for the life of me remember if me and jaimie fought at the start of our relationship. I think it has something to do with Brenna's on-again, off-again contact (and constant fights) with her ex-boyfriend. I have no problem with them having contact, or being friends... I just want it to be a set way for once. since they broke up, it's been this friends / fighting exes trade-off. it majorly stresses me out.
overall, though, I am very happy. we went up to SJ for my brother's birthday a few weekends ago, and had a blast. we went up to Russian Hill in SF and saw Garden State, ate at this awesome little coffee shop and acted weird. got kinda lost, which was fun. ran down a deserted street. made plans to move there one day, and have her hot, happy, dumb kids be friends with my sad, ugly, smart kids.
grrr... I just feel like we are missing out on something. we're happy, but I feel like we could be happier... well, what can I do? just my best, I guess... <3