KC and Jules Go To The Fair
So I gots me a new partner in crime after living in AZ for almost 2 whole months. But as I'm getting to know her more, I am learning she is into more hardcore crimes than I. I mean, loitering is kind of boring to her.
Anyways, this evening we decided to go to the state fair. Jules had bought a pint before and had drunk more than half of it. Now I'm a lightweight, so even with a lot of food in me, I'd be super drunk. She is apparently a raging alcoholic. Except she hadn't eaten all day...She's rather drunk when we get there, and an officer at the entrance questions us and checks our bags. He even took my water bottle, opened it and smelled it. He found nothing on us, so he let us go.
So we get some food at the fair, and sit down. Like 15 minutes later, Jules is passed out in her food. Literally. Her head was on her plate of porkchops on a stick and fries. I didn't pay too much mind to this at first, because normally when I've spent time with drunks they might do such a thing but rouse themselves a few minutes later. But she didn't move at all for like ever, even after I had finished my chicken fingers. So I spent several minutes trying to wake her up--yelling at her, slapping her, moving her head all around, and even kicking her. People at other tables were staring. The girl didn't respond at all. So I went to get a cop. Call me a pussy, that's cool. But even if I could get her to wake up, I didn't know what she would be like and if I could've gotten her out of there without someone's assistance.
So I went to the front gate and was like, "Excuse me, my friend won't wake up. She's like passed out." Luckily, it wasn't the same cop that searched us. So I thought only 1 was coming, but no. They both came. And we're almost there when I get a call from her, so I was like, "Just kidding! I just wanted to see if you'd follow me. BYE!" Then I ran away from them, and saw two other officers already with Jules. I'm kind of thinking people at the other table got them when I ran away. They must have been better about waking drunks up than me. They were all "WHERE WERE YOU? WHY WEREN'T YOU WITH YOUR DRUNKEN FRIEND!?" But they didn't yell at me. The one officer reminded me of one of those hillbilly cops you sometimes see on TV, the other was short. The hillbilly one asked me where I'd been, and I was like "Looking for you guys..." And Jules was like "What?" And I was like "You wouldn't wake up! I was like punching you in the face!" And then we all laughed, and laughed. Then the short one asked me if I drove, and suggested maybe I take her home, and asked her why the hell she drank so much. She basically told them she was an alcoholic. They were cool with that. But they said if we stayed, we had to be good, and I had to make sure she was good. And I was like, "What the fuck ever." But I said the same thing slightly differently. Finally they started leaving, and the short one hit me and was like "Are you cool with all this?" And I was like, "I'm taller than you."
Jules finished her food. Then we went to get tickets for rides. And as we were waiting in line to get the tickets, the short cop walked up to me and was like, "What are you doing?" And I was like, "Nothing." Because that's totally not his business. And he pointed at a spinny ride and said Jules was going to get sick on that. Jules said we were going on the bumper cars. The cop was like "I got my eye on you two." But he was a pretty cool dude. Probably because otherwise we'd make fun of his short stature. Then we went on the spinny ride.
Then we went on a lot of other rides and we took pictures. We asked a lot of random cops questions because they all were so friendly, except for that one cop that searched us. Our favorite cops stopped following us after the first few rides. It made us sad. We wanted to get pictures with them and ride some rides with them, but we didn't.
That was our adventure at the fair.
We plan to go again next weekend.
The end.
Anyways, this evening we decided to go to the state fair. Jules had bought a pint before and had drunk more than half of it. Now I'm a lightweight, so even with a lot of food in me, I'd be super drunk. She is apparently a raging alcoholic. Except she hadn't eaten all day...She's rather drunk when we get there, and an officer at the entrance questions us and checks our bags. He even took my water bottle, opened it and smelled it. He found nothing on us, so he let us go.
So we get some food at the fair, and sit down. Like 15 minutes later, Jules is passed out in her food. Literally. Her head was on her plate of porkchops on a stick and fries. I didn't pay too much mind to this at first, because normally when I've spent time with drunks they might do such a thing but rouse themselves a few minutes later. But she didn't move at all for like ever, even after I had finished my chicken fingers. So I spent several minutes trying to wake her up--yelling at her, slapping her, moving her head all around, and even kicking her. People at other tables were staring. The girl didn't respond at all. So I went to get a cop. Call me a pussy, that's cool. But even if I could get her to wake up, I didn't know what she would be like and if I could've gotten her out of there without someone's assistance.
So I went to the front gate and was like, "Excuse me, my friend won't wake up. She's like passed out." Luckily, it wasn't the same cop that searched us. So I thought only 1 was coming, but no. They both came. And we're almost there when I get a call from her, so I was like, "Just kidding! I just wanted to see if you'd follow me. BYE!" Then I ran away from them, and saw two other officers already with Jules. I'm kind of thinking people at the other table got them when I ran away. They must have been better about waking drunks up than me. They were all "WHERE WERE YOU? WHY WEREN'T YOU WITH YOUR DRUNKEN FRIEND!?" But they didn't yell at me. The one officer reminded me of one of those hillbilly cops you sometimes see on TV, the other was short. The hillbilly one asked me where I'd been, and I was like "Looking for you guys..." And Jules was like "What?" And I was like "You wouldn't wake up! I was like punching you in the face!" And then we all laughed, and laughed. Then the short one asked me if I drove, and suggested maybe I take her home, and asked her why the hell she drank so much. She basically told them she was an alcoholic. They were cool with that. But they said if we stayed, we had to be good, and I had to make sure she was good. And I was like, "What the fuck ever." But I said the same thing slightly differently. Finally they started leaving, and the short one hit me and was like "Are you cool with all this?" And I was like, "I'm taller than you."
Jules finished her food. Then we went to get tickets for rides. And as we were waiting in line to get the tickets, the short cop walked up to me and was like, "What are you doing?" And I was like, "Nothing." Because that's totally not his business. And he pointed at a spinny ride and said Jules was going to get sick on that. Jules said we were going on the bumper cars. The cop was like "I got my eye on you two." But he was a pretty cool dude. Probably because otherwise we'd make fun of his short stature. Then we went on the spinny ride.
Then we went on a lot of other rides and we took pictures. We asked a lot of random cops questions because they all were so friendly, except for that one cop that searched us. Our favorite cops stopped following us after the first few rides. It made us sad. We wanted to get pictures with them and ride some rides with them, but we didn't.
That was our adventure at the fair.
We plan to go again next weekend.
The end.