Wooo, First Post of The Year
Finally, I'm making another post. It's been a while, but you must remember 2 things...
A) Nobody proabably reads this anyways
B) I've had a lot of catching up to do since I got home from my little European extravaganza
So where to begin? I arrived home at 8:30pm on December 19th, and since then, everything has been a blur. I spent the holidays with the family and just trying to catch up with friends that I haven't talked to in quite a while. I missed a lot of people, and I've just really enjoyed finally being back in the US. I rode home with Ashley and we got her mom to stop at the first Sheetz we saw once we got out of Philadelphia...that's something I missed a lot in Europe haha. Really, nothing noteworthy happened since then...New Years Eve was my birthday, and we celebrated at Betty James's house. It was a ridiculous time, and nothing short of "shit show" could be used to describe it. I had a fun time, and I think everyone else did too, and it was a good way to bring in a new year.
I got back to school 2 weeks ago and it has def. been an eye-opening experience haha. I had forgotten what doing work on a regular basis was like, but I think I'm adjusting well enough. I'm living in Mission, which is an old house that was converted into 4 seperate rooms. Each room of the apartment has a kitchen, a bathroom, a living room, and 2 bedrooms for 5 people. It's pretty big, actually, and I really like living here. I live with a couple of my friends, and we've just been having a good time and enjoying our last semester at JC. Nothing too exciting has happened around Mission, but this Saturday we're having a giant party and inviting about 1/5 of the entire campus...so it should be some kind of time haha. I'm holding out big hope for it...but I've held out big hope for lots of things, and just get disappointed every time.
Which leads me to my last point...my party time image...it's all a sham. I learned how to party and have a great time in Spain, and I really enjoy it, but this past weekend I realized that so many people just live for the drinking and random hookups...and it's just not my style at all, no matter how much I pretend it is. I like to drink and have a great time, which is a lot different from how I used to be, but I also realize it's just a pretty shallow thing...it's fun while it lasts, but people who just live for random hookups and nothing else...it's just not me, and it won't ever be me. I've really tried to change myself a lot since I ran away months and months ago, but I'm realizing that while a lot of things don't really work for me right now, they hopefully will again in the future. Maybe you understand what I mean, and maybe you don't, but that's all I'll be saying about it.
My roommates and I have taken to rating each night of the weekend on how good it was. So far, I'd give 2008 a solid B+. I'd say this isn't a bad grade at all, but there's still room for some improvement. I realize I'm dramatic, and make no sense sometimes, but these are my thoughts, and I haven't written anything in a long time, and these things run through my mind every day. Until next time, a nice song that I enjoy...what it means to me is hidden in the lyrics somewhere...
Bayside
"They Looked Like Strong Hands"
This isn't who I am.
From confidence to self doubt in 60 seconds.
Storming stages and stereos from here to there,
trying to prove that I belong.
Trying to win approval from people that I don't know.
And I look so strong
when the weight of all the world
don't take its toll.
And I'd choose my sides
if I believed in what was right,
but I'm all wrong.
I'm not larger than life, I'm not taller than trees.
Do I mean what I say? Is it just this disease where I never go home.
Never telling the truth how this life eats away.
Not admitting I'm fake
and I'm questioning whether this whole thing was worth it to die poor and all alone?
And I look so strong
when the weight of all the world
don't take its toll.
And I'd choose my sides
if I believed in what was right,
but I'm all wrong.
Just don't tell me this doesn't mean the world,
'cause my ears would bleed and my heart would hit the floor.
And I look so strong
when the weight of all the world
don't take its toll.
And I'd choose my sides
if I believed in what was right,
but I'm all wrong.
Later Days!
~Bowser