January musings
I have a few things I need to be doing by 2pm today, so LJ'ing is not one of them but felt like I should. It's been a while since I posted, I didn't like Christmas at all. But that's not surprising. I achieved nothing over this period except sleep. I still have an abscess. I've had two courses of antibiotics now. I've now been given two more weeks of antibiotics but strong metronidazole combined with general spectrum antibiotics. All these drugs make me feel woozy. I didn't make it into uni on Friday, I felt bad. Like I was properly slacking, despite the fact this would've only been my second day off for the entirety of the course, which considering the stress involved, is quite good.
I'm still angry about the way I was treated on first placement and that's what some of my musings has been about over Christmas, whether I should be teaching at all, whether I want to be and sometimes wanting to throw in the towel and do something I'm passionate about i.e. fitness.
Fitness doesn't pay. Neither does teaching tbh but teaching gives kudos and doing both together will indulge my passion and pay the bills. I have strong aspirations to be a national trainer for Les Mills but can that actually be a reality? I won't know until I see how I do on bodycombat training anyway. However, that wasn't going further because I hadn't been getting on with my Exercise to Music module until this morning and even then I don't give myself enough time to comfortably do it all.
I waste so much of my time and then get angry I don't get things done. Will that change? I dont know but I feel positive that I finally started getting on with things from Friday. I finally cleared my car out after 4 months. Not a pretty sight. I managed to do a general tidy of bedroom too and started throwing paper away (sorry, I mean recycling...). My problem is I'm so obsessed with running before I walk and then feeling like a failure when I can't do it. I just need to start being satisfied when I do the small things.
I'm still angry about the way I was treated on first placement and that's what some of my musings has been about over Christmas, whether I should be teaching at all, whether I want to be and sometimes wanting to throw in the towel and do something I'm passionate about i.e. fitness.
Fitness doesn't pay. Neither does teaching tbh but teaching gives kudos and doing both together will indulge my passion and pay the bills. I have strong aspirations to be a national trainer for Les Mills but can that actually be a reality? I won't know until I see how I do on bodycombat training anyway. However, that wasn't going further because I hadn't been getting on with my Exercise to Music module until this morning and even then I don't give myself enough time to comfortably do it all.
I waste so much of my time and then get angry I don't get things done. Will that change? I dont know but I feel positive that I finally started getting on with things from Friday. I finally cleared my car out after 4 months. Not a pretty sight. I managed to do a general tidy of bedroom too and started throwing paper away (sorry, I mean recycling...). My problem is I'm so obsessed with running before I walk and then feeling like a failure when I can't do it. I just need to start being satisfied when I do the small things.