Bliss And Its Aftermath's Effect On Motivation
For one-hundred sixty-five hours, Bliss reigned. Amid the exams and the stress of secrecy; the strangers and friends and old TV actors; the Music played and the Music taken; the food cooked, bought, and shared; the holiday feeling and the welcoming nature of this state's population; both cozy and fun togetherness were finally allowed to occur -- FINALLY!
And now my room feels empty, lonely, dull, cold without the you and the me that together make the room glow. I almost hate being here now. But where else to go, that I can still concentrate and hope to accomplish some work or studying? I'm certain campus is locked, this being a holiday weekend... not that I would get anything done there, right now, either.
For my last five days of classes, for my last performance, for my last two papers, for my last exam, for my last non-optional sit-down final of the semester, I am struggling to get back into 'work' mode from the lovely vacation-like social life I was able to enjoy for the past week.
Should I have let you come? Should I have sabotaged my motivation with a teasing glimpse of what life can be like when there is more to it than preparation for a future? How dare I ask such questions; I wouldn't wish those one-hundred sixty-five hours out of existence, even if it meant making the next twelve days less stressful and my current state less melancholy. I am happy to suffer this repeatedly if it means spending time with you until we're both finished with this stage of education.
Thank you for necessitating this difficult re-adjustment; thank you for coming and visiting me, Sweetheart.
PS: My friends like you, so let your box grow!
And now my room feels empty, lonely, dull, cold without the you and the me that together make the room glow. I almost hate being here now. But where else to go, that I can still concentrate and hope to accomplish some work or studying? I'm certain campus is locked, this being a holiday weekend... not that I would get anything done there, right now, either.
For my last five days of classes, for my last performance, for my last two papers, for my last exam, for my last non-optional sit-down final of the semester, I am struggling to get back into 'work' mode from the lovely vacation-like social life I was able to enjoy for the past week.
Should I have let you come? Should I have sabotaged my motivation with a teasing glimpse of what life can be like when there is more to it than preparation for a future? How dare I ask such questions; I wouldn't wish those one-hundred sixty-five hours out of existence, even if it meant making the next twelve days less stressful and my current state less melancholy. I am happy to suffer this repeatedly if it means spending time with you until we're both finished with this stage of education.
Thank you for necessitating this difficult re-adjustment; thank you for coming and visiting me, Sweetheart.
PS: My friends like you, so let your box grow!