(no subject)
As ad campaigns grow slicker and slicker, influencing our thoughts in everything from convincing us that “value meals” aren’t really two lies in one to telling us that the only logical end result of stem cell research is having an army of clones taking over the Republic and giving it into the hands of the Sith, I have come to realize one glaring truth:
Endeavors without snappy titles are doomed to failure. Admit it. “One, Two, Three, Four, We don’t want your f***ing war!!” sticks with you much better than “Two Four Six Eight tell your Congressman to support measure 48!”
“Bay of Pigs Invasion” - stupid title. Pigs are funny, so it’s hard to put the words “Pigs” and “Invasion” together and make them sound like something we should take seriously. End result? USA looks bad.
“Trickle Down Economics” - again with the stupidity. We think of Economics as huge, while a trickle is something small. Also, one should not use the words “down” and “economy” together and expect people to be excited about it. We weren’t.
“War on Terror” - While the words “war” and “terror” have an intrinsic coolness about them, it’s a little too close to the “War on Drugs” which, um, no one really talks about much anymore. With the proper think-tank behind this operation, they SHOULD have picked a name we could all, as members of both a nation and an international community of people who would, on most days, choose to NOT get blown up while shopping for calabashes, could rally around. “Operation: Whoop Terror’s Ass” I think, would have yielded better resluts. Or even better results.
I mean, from a security standpoint, I understand why the military picks names for clandestine operations at random. But really, what black ops team is going to want to strike a blow for freedom by being a part of Operation: ACORN FONDLE? Tell your troops they’re part of Operation: SHADOW VIPER DEATH NINJA and they’ll come back from the dead to complete their mission, if need be.
I think I’ve made my case for names being everything.
I tell you all this so you will understand the genius behind the name for my new endeavor.
I call it: “31 by 31”
My goal: Lose 31 pounds by my 31st birthday, 8 months from now. It has everything going for it: ample time for a few false starts and mistakes, a set target ending date, and above all, it’s easy to say and remember. If I’m tempted by my arch-nemesis, high-fructose corn syrup, I don’t have to try and come up with some impassioned self-speech about the virtues of denial, self-control and accountability on the spot. I can just yell, “31 by 31, muthafucka!!!!” and feel GOOD about not having the sweet, cool, refreshing and re-energizing sensation of soda sliding down my throat.
Also, I have past successes bolstering me. My slogan: “Baby-free in 2003” was SO successful that here at the end of 2006, Steph and I STILL have not conceived a child. Boo-ya.
Steph and I have this quasi-budget thing going on, and we should have enough for a gym membership.
In other news...
Speaking of budgets, I’m finishing up my 1st paid art commission that I will probably get paid for in real US dollars. It’s just one simple illustration, but it’s a paying job.
Not only that, but I may have another paying job doing some storyboarding coming up next week.
I’ve set my base price at $25 per illustration, with higher prices for really complex or colored pieces. I’m getting good enough that I almost feel comfortable making people pay for my drawrins.
Well, my flying Italian-super-hero-chef isn’t going to ink itself.
laters, all.
Endeavors without snappy titles are doomed to failure. Admit it. “One, Two, Three, Four, We don’t want your f***ing war!!” sticks with you much better than “Two Four Six Eight tell your Congressman to support measure 48!”
“Bay of Pigs Invasion” - stupid title. Pigs are funny, so it’s hard to put the words “Pigs” and “Invasion” together and make them sound like something we should take seriously. End result? USA looks bad.
“Trickle Down Economics” - again with the stupidity. We think of Economics as huge, while a trickle is something small. Also, one should not use the words “down” and “economy” together and expect people to be excited about it. We weren’t.
“War on Terror” - While the words “war” and “terror” have an intrinsic coolness about them, it’s a little too close to the “War on Drugs” which, um, no one really talks about much anymore. With the proper think-tank behind this operation, they SHOULD have picked a name we could all, as members of both a nation and an international community of people who would, on most days, choose to NOT get blown up while shopping for calabashes, could rally around. “Operation: Whoop Terror’s Ass” I think, would have yielded better resluts. Or even better results.
I mean, from a security standpoint, I understand why the military picks names for clandestine operations at random. But really, what black ops team is going to want to strike a blow for freedom by being a part of Operation: ACORN FONDLE? Tell your troops they’re part of Operation: SHADOW VIPER DEATH NINJA and they’ll come back from the dead to complete their mission, if need be.
I think I’ve made my case for names being everything.
I tell you all this so you will understand the genius behind the name for my new endeavor.
I call it: “31 by 31”
My goal: Lose 31 pounds by my 31st birthday, 8 months from now. It has everything going for it: ample time for a few false starts and mistakes, a set target ending date, and above all, it’s easy to say and remember. If I’m tempted by my arch-nemesis, high-fructose corn syrup, I don’t have to try and come up with some impassioned self-speech about the virtues of denial, self-control and accountability on the spot. I can just yell, “31 by 31, muthafucka!!!!” and feel GOOD about not having the sweet, cool, refreshing and re-energizing sensation of soda sliding down my throat.
Also, I have past successes bolstering me. My slogan: “Baby-free in 2003” was SO successful that here at the end of 2006, Steph and I STILL have not conceived a child. Boo-ya.
Steph and I have this quasi-budget thing going on, and we should have enough for a gym membership.
In other news...
Speaking of budgets, I’m finishing up my 1st paid art commission that I will probably get paid for in real US dollars. It’s just one simple illustration, but it’s a paying job.
Not only that, but I may have another paying job doing some storyboarding coming up next week.
I’ve set my base price at $25 per illustration, with higher prices for really complex or colored pieces. I’m getting good enough that I almost feel comfortable making people pay for my drawrins.
Well, my flying Italian-super-hero-chef isn’t going to ink itself.
laters, all.