And now, a word from our sponsors...

[spampy]

When the cable goes out, you go to the movies. When you go to the movies, you get bored watching the trailers, and when you get bored watching the trailers, you send texts in the theater. And when you send texts in the theater... you get shot by a retired police captain.

Don't get shot by a retired police captain- Get rid of cable and upgrade to DirecTV!