Step back. Avoid the mess.
Things have gotten a little complicated.
Last Thursday I got really close to making a huge mess... My emotions reached this peak that I could no longer tolerate, so I left work. Then later that day I ran into her at a show... which honestly... I was looking for her. I was so drunk that I don't remember much from running into her and I kind of just went off and did other things.
Lucky I got angry drunk way later in the evening and had a buddy to spill it all on. I am really greatful of my friend for being there for me. It was a close one.
I think a convo from earlier today sums up what I'm thinking:
"so after the Kaskade show...
I was kind of left with a bad taste in my mouth about [her]…
not that she’s a bad person… its just… when I saw her at the show...
got introduced to her friends..
i got a realization of context.
… which I am just not a part of.
Also… I realized I was chasing her
and trying to insert myself into a life that isn’t mine.
which is both not good.
so… I need to just continue with what I’m doing… with my life...
and let her live hers. with the path she’s paving with her boyfriend… because thats something i’ve been overlooking… like some ki[n]d of idiot."
anyway.
Last Thursday I got really close to making a huge mess... My emotions reached this peak that I could no longer tolerate, so I left work. Then later that day I ran into her at a show... which honestly... I was looking for her. I was so drunk that I don't remember much from running into her and I kind of just went off and did other things.
Lucky I got angry drunk way later in the evening and had a buddy to spill it all on. I am really greatful of my friend for being there for me. It was a close one.
I think a convo from earlier today sums up what I'm thinking:
"so after the Kaskade show...
I was kind of left with a bad taste in my mouth about [her]…
not that she’s a bad person… its just… when I saw her at the show...
got introduced to her friends..
i got a realization of context.
… which I am just not a part of.
Also… I realized I was chasing her
and trying to insert myself into a life that isn’t mine.
which is both not good.
so… I need to just continue with what I’m doing… with my life...
and let her live hers. with the path she’s paving with her boyfriend… because thats something i’ve been overlooking… like some ki[n]d of idiot."
anyway.