Day 85
Today is the 85th day since my office locked down and quarantine began. I feel like we've reached the final stage of acceptance. I'm not having dreams any longer about going places and doing things. I keep a spare, clean mask in my car's glove compartment if I ever have to run out for an emergency. Going to the grocery store no longer feels as suffocating and frightening. I don't feel as starved for social interaction outside of my immediate household. This is definitely the new normal now.
I don't think Lucas is ever going back to work in his office. And until there's some kind of cure or vaccine that removes the risk, I won't be going back to my office either. I'm in a high risk category given my health history, so if I can do all the same work at home that I could in the office, it makes no sense to put myself in danger. I'm sad when I consider this future. I took a lot of enjoyment in getting dressed up, seeing my coworkers, and occupying a space where we would all work together. It's even harder now with my intern back for the summer. I hope I can still give her a good experience. I feel strongly about the success of her internship, especially since she's attending the same program I did. I want to give back!
I took a spill while I was out running today. Luckily I didn't sprain or break anything, but my right side is very sore, and I'm cut up in several places from the gravel. I suspect I won't be running for the next couple of days, but it's about to get hot anyways...
Lucas channeled all his quarantine energy into learning to take care of the lawn, and his hard work is finally paying off! The grass is thick and green, and it grows faster than he can keep up. Oak pollen season hit us hard last week--I forgot how mercilless it can get, especially since we weren't living near any notable oak trees in Middleton. But a neighbor here has an enormous tree in his yard, and it coated the entire backyard in a thick coat of pollen. Lucas and Becca have affectionately dubbed it "confetti."
While Lucas manages his quarantine anxiety by focusing on the lawn, I've directed my own focus towards the front porch. I want to make the space feel calm and welcoming. So far progress is good, and I'm carefully using a discretionary amount I set aside for spending to build it up. So far I've managed to set up the rocking chairs, although I moved the wreath off the door (birds kept trying to nest in it!) to the vinyl siding above a rocking chair. The Boston ferns I planted don't seem to appreciate the urns. I think they're getting a wee bit too much light, so I've been installing hooks to hang them from on the porch itself in baskets. Unfortunately the rest of the hooks won't arrive in the mail until later this week. Lastly, I'll try using a Kimberly fern in the urns instead - I think they're a bit more forgiving with sun exposure, so we'll see...
Oh! But I forgot the most ambitious project! I'm planning on setting up a drip irrigation system for all my hanging baskets! I've never done something like this before, so I am a little nervous. The kits make everything seem so easy though... I just have to believe in myself! (That and actually read the instructions...)
We actually did a good deal of 'errands' this weekend. All while behaving and properly wearing masks, of course. A run to Costco and a visit to my parents' place made things almost feel normal. I actually forgot we were in the midst of a global pandemic, but the muffled itch of a cotton face mask is quick to correct me whenever I start getting complacent. My parents were having trouble reattaching one of the loops for the rooftop heater, so Lucas got up on a ladder (and I tried not to think about him falling) to fix it for them. The only stipulation was that they have the ladder properly cleaned before he use it. No spiders!
Dad's surgery was rescheduled a second time for July. He said if they still can't safely carry out the procedure, he will have to wait until next year for his hip replacement. He's concerned there will be a second wave of the virus if he waits too long, and recovery time will overlap with it. I'm glad he's being careful, but I worry when I know he's struggling and in pain.
It's hard to think of a second wave when we're still stuck in the first one. How long will life be like this? What will it actually become when things are "over"? It's difficult to even picture what "over" consists of. A vaccine? I feel embarrassed and anxious when I talk to my coworkers overseas, especially because we seem to be doing such a horrible job managing things here. I guess the silver lining is that my 401K and Roth IRA are rebounding, but I'd rather stabiltiy as a whole.