Cable and Deadpool Kink Meme
Hosting another kink!meme, this one based on the Cable and Deadpool comic. The main pairing is Cable/Deadpool obviously, but in the interest of fair play I shall allow any characters/pairings based on the comic series. Rules are as follows:
1. Anonymously post a pairing and prompt you would like to see written. Since this is a kink meme, there ( Read more... )
or Wade's Clever Plan
"What a gyp," Wade mutters to himself as the world continues spinning. "I didn't even get a shiny new car."
"You feel your contribution to the continuation of your race was not reward enough?"
"WAH!" Wade leaped sideways from the sound, drawing his blades. The person who had snuck up behind him like a dirty commie rat cocked a their head. "Hey, are you a girl?"
The blond(e?) cocked hir head the other way. "I am the representation sent by the ones you destroyed in your efforts to save your race. I am the personification of the most beautiful of your race, however physical beauty was only the easiest to determine: because of your species, I am...conflict."
Wade frowned. "So you're a girl." He glanced at his blades and back to the hottie. "Uh...you gonna go Xena on my ass in revenge or something?"
"No."
"Cool." He sheathed his blades. "Anyway, nobody ever gives me the good stuff. I mean, Barker gets his beauties and gives out kick ass prizes to middle-aged soccer moms, but I lay some righteous smack down on an invading magical alien race and get nothing." He pouted.
"Hm. I feel a certain connection to you. Perhaps gratitude for freeing me from servitude. Perhaps you would accompany me on my journey back to the home world and wreak destruction with me?"
"Huwa?" Deadpool blinked.
"...I think not." The construct looked Wade over thoughtfully. "Your regeneration keeps you alive but in constant pain from your poor genetic construction." It nodded shortly. "Your race is a shallow one. In gratitude for your services, I grant you that which you desire."
Wade was too busy screaming at that point to acknowledge the flashy exit of the created being.
After he was done being in excruciating agony, he looked around. The pretty lady was gone.
He went home.
~
On Providence, Irene Merryweather had a premonition of doom as the phone rang. She answered anyway, in case it was important. "Providence Island, Irene Merry--"
"Irene!"
The sense of doom enclosed her. "...Deadpool."
"Where's Nate?!"
Irene frowned, flicking through the calender on her PDA. "Nathan should be having breakfast with the several North Korean generals at the moment," she responded. "Did you hear something?"
"Nope! But I have to seduce him, so I figured if I didn't interrupt his meeting, he'd be more willing to sleep with me."
"I. You. What?" Irene blinked.
"You don't think so? You think if I just show up, it'll show him how much he means to me? You're right! Why didn't I think of that! Thanks, Irene! We'll have to get together for girl talk later!"
"Wade--" Silence met her ears as Wade had clearly hung up.
She hesitated only an instant before she ended the line and opened a new one. "Nate? Yes, Wade's on his--"
"Oh."
~
"Nathan Ask'ani Dayspring Priscilla Summers!" Wade declared, bodysliding to the side of his silver fox. OK, more like, into the lap of his favorite silver haired fox. The early bird catches the worm, after all!
"Wade," Nate responded. He settled his hands on Wade's side and gently eased him an inch to the left, then nodded at the retreating dignitaries and used his telekenisis to close the door behind them. "What can I do for you?"
"Kiss me, you fool!" Wade cried, squirming against Nate's hold. He was on the very edge of his friend's lap, not close enough for what he wanted at all.
Wade stilled abruptly. "Unless you think we should start with dirty talk and work our way up?"
Nate blinked. "I'm sure that will make sense in a minute. What can I do for you today and why are you wearing synthskin?"
Wade beamed. "I'm here to seduce you and I'm not!"
"You're...not?"
"I'm here to seduce you," Wade repeated. "But au natural!"
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Nathan frowned and slid a hand under the hem of Wade's shirt since it was right there and felt soft, smooth skin stretched over ridiculously firm muscles. "What happened?"
Wade shrugged. "I dunno, some magical hoodoos showed up all 'Bow Before Your Gods' and I made mincemeat outta them. This hot chick was apparently their slave, but she left while I was screaming as I regrew all my skin."
"Ah." Nate looked him over. Wade had it on good opinion--his!--that he was a handsome devil. Nathan smiled. "Congratulations, Wade."
Wade took that moment to slip from Nathan's grasp and tug himself forward to give him a nice, sweet kiss.
For Wade, anyway.
"Mmf," Nathan froze briefly in surprise as Nathan pressed firmly against his groin at the same time as attaching their lips. He fisted his hands in Wade's shirt, intending to tug him back but was distracted by a ripple of smooth skin against his knuckles as Wade undulated against him, pressing a firm erection further against his newly aroused one.
Nathan hesitated only long enough to feel Wade smirk against his mouth before he tugged him back.
Wade smiled at him, lips wet. "How'm I doing?"
"At seducing me?" Nate clarified, trying not to stare at his mouth.
"Mmmhmmm," Wade hummed, squirming against Nate's newly restrictive hold. Since Nate was pressing him against him now, Wade's squirming apparently didn't have a purpose beyond driving Nate insane.
"See, now that I'm half-way pretty, I figured I can compete with the eye candy you keep around here!" He slid his hands down Nate's arms, tracing real and techno-organic flesh respectively until his hands met behind his own back. He tugged Nate's hands from his shirt and set them firmly on his ass. "I'm way more flexible than them," he confided, pulling his shirt over his head. "And way more creative."
"Plus," Wade smiled, tossing his shirt over his shoulders. "I know where the writers live: if you make it worth my while, I'll go smack some bitches around until they forget the words "civil war" even exist and we can copulate to our heart's content."
Nate blinked. "Copulate?"
Wade shrugged, sliding forward that little inch he'd put between them--for shame!--to take off his shirt. "I want to copulate first. We can fornicate, later, OK?"
Nate's brain finally moved...around Wade-in-my-lap. "You were...transformed...by an alien force and decided your first move was to come...seduce me?"
Wade frowned. "I just said that. I did just say that, right? This isn't gonna be one of those little mermaid things where I lose my beautiful singing voice for a twat?"
Nate stood abruptly, having completely caught up, and shifted his grip from Wade's hips to his ass. "OK."
"Whoa, Cowboy!" Wade said, grabbing Nate's well-defined shoulders.
Nate smiled and Wade's face was really much easier to read like this. "You like me."
Wade pouted. "...washboard abs are a weakness, I admit," he said, looking down to where he was pressed intimately close to a set of washboard abs. "Don't tease me. I still have the Cat's number," he pointed out.
"I'd kill him," Nate murmured. "Bodyslide by two."
"I thought you didn't kill anymore?" Wade asked as they materialized in Nate's swanky room. "Not that I'm not totally worth killing over. Have you seen my ass?"
Nate dropped him on the bed and loomed over him. "I intend to."
"Oooh, I love it when you go pre-historic on me," Wade smiled. He reached forward to fist Nate's shirt and tugged. "Come make an honest man of yourself."
Nate kissed him and it was when he realized he couldn't move that Wade decided he might just actually like Priscilla. "Telekinetic bondage?" he asked.
Nate smiled. "I'll work on the tentacles later." He closed the distance between them again but kissed Wade's jaw, then his throat.
"Because it's new?" Nate asked.
Having been somewhat distracted, Wade responded, "huh?" Pressure eased his head to the side and he shuddered against Nate as he bit down high on his neck along his hair line. "Oooh."
"This was a good idea, Wade," Nate pulled back long enough to say.
Wade was busy with the telekinetic handjob to appreciate it properly.
--
Sorry for the cop out at the end! I'm tired and have an exam in a few days. Hope it was OK until someone can do better!
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This is sexy/adorable/awesome, BTW.
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ASDHGASGDGADFGKJLKGJH.
Seriously. This was all shades of hot, awesome and hilarious. Funniest line though for me had to be was this: "This isn't gonna be one of those little mermaid things where I lose my beautiful singing voice for a twat?"
HAHAHAHAHA.
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I like this.
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I LOVE YOU DEADPOOL. ♥
And, you know, you too O' Brilliant Writer. :D
I love this. So freakin' adorable!
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