Watchmen Kink Meme 2: Electric Boogaloo. Or not.
Alright, alright, I'm back now. Here ya go kids. (You're just lucky the other one didn't run out in the middle of my vacation grumble grumble)
Rules of the meme:
1. Anonymously post a pairing and prompt you would like to see written. Since this is a kink meme, there is supposted to be a kink involved, but normal well-written prompts should work ( Read more... )
His white blood cell count is still good, his doctor tells him. Adrian thanks him for the news. Karnak is at a critical stage; he cannot afford to be worrying if the cocktail of drugs they have him on is working. Doctor Manhattan knows, he suspects, but Jon would never say anything. What little of the man that Jon Osterman once was that remains knows better than to tell anyone or even mention it to Adrian himself. They work closely together, that secret quietly suspended between them. Adrian doesn't allow anyone to get too close.
Jon visits Adrian in New York in April. He looks at Adrian oddly, and Adrian wonders if he is thinking about when Adrian is going to die. He hopes it isn't soon. The world needs him a little longer. That evening, after dinner, Jon kisses him. It is very strange and metallic and unfamiliar, and Adrian craves it like he used to wake up craving cocaine. He is the first person Adrian has been with since he found out. Jon must know. It doesn't matter. Adrian needs this.
Afterward, Jon disappears. Adrian guesses that he has rejoined the other Doctor Manhattans in the military base where he and Laurie live. For three days afterward, he can still feel the ghost of Jon about the apartment and inside him. He shivers when he feels a shock of static electricity.
One of the fellows at his internist's practice becomes his regular doctor while his internist is out on paternity leave. He is sweet and perhaps too attentive. Adrian thinks that it is odd that he is still interested, even though he knows. He asks Adrian to have a drink with him, and Adrian declines, but the boy kisses him anyway.
He whispers, "Me too," into Adrian's ear, and Adrian can barely keep himself from crying. He is too young for it, barely twenty-five. They go out for a drink, and he convinces Adrian to dance with him. It is nice, Adrian thinks. Maybe, he would have liked this. He wishes he were younger, so that he would have been able to avoid the disease, but Louis wasn't able to avoid it, so Adrian wonders if it would have made a difference.
They go on a series of dinner dates at expensive restaurants, and despite Louis's protests, Adrian insists on paying. They kiss in taxis and part. When Adrian is particularly upset about a fresh delay on the energy project in early October, Louis comes to the apartment for the first time. Adrian doesn't ask how he got the address, though he suspects that it was taken from his medical records. Louis puts his arms around Adrian and tells him that it will be all right, really. He puts on an old record and leads Adrian in a waltz. As the record turns to white noise, Louis guides their last steps into Adrian's bedroom. Adrian has no idea what to do once they are there. He tells Louis where the condoms are, but he says that if Adrian doesn't mind, he doesn’t much care. Adrian is very quiet the entire time, and Louis has to ask him afterward if he enjoyed it -he did very much, thank you-, but he knows that he won't forget that evening. He won't forget Louis's hands sliding over the smooth planes of his stomach, his soft gasps in Adrian's ear, his lips on Adrian's.
They begin to make a habit of it. It is a nice way to end the day, knowing that someone doesn't think of him as another soul lost to his own promiscuity or, worse yet, a masked hero bound to save the world. Adrian can be Adrian with him, and that isn't something he is used to.
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It is then that the medicine stops working. His internist is overwhelmed, working double his usual hours because he is volunteering in the emergency room at a local hospital. Adrian doesn't trouble him; it is more important that he saves people in triage than Adrian. After all, Adrian has done his great work. He is antiquated and obsolete. The world does not need Ozymandias.
When things calm down six months later, his white blood cell count is low. He knew it would be, but both he and his doctor are surprised at just how low it is. He doesn't wonder if he's going to die because he knows it will happen eventually. He is admitted into the hospital and spends three days there. They are afraid to keep him there too long, worrying that he will catch pneumonia or even a cold and it will be too much. He returns to work afterward. His new secretary -his second since Maria- has already rescheduled all his appointments. He goes to each of them, but can barely remember what is said. The board begins to consider asking him to step down. His doctor finds a drug cocktail that works again, and he tries to make up for lost time, pushing the company to take advantage of the new hope that is flooding the world. The stockholders are thrilled at the profits from the new Millennium scent line.
In late 1986, Adrian's white blood cell count is so low that he is put in the hospital again. They don't think he is ever going to leave. He tells his secretary that he is on vacation, and rather than filing an insurance claim, pays for everything out of pocket. He wants to leave no trace of it. If Adrian Veidt is going to die of AIDS, it will have to be silent. Veidt Industries is using the proceeds of the sales of the Ozymandias toy line to fund research to treat AIDS cheaply in Africa. He cannot possibly transfer funding to a project to find a cure without being criticized heavily for pandering to the licentious, promiscuous homosexual minority.
Three times a day, a pretty redheaded nurse brings him more pills to take than he can swallow at one time. On a Thursday afternoon -he has entirely lost track of dates- she brings a youngish, well-dressed man with her. He wears large unattractive glasses that hide his face. Without them, he might be quite handsome. He smiles generously at Adrian. For a moment, Adrian thinks he is another fellow at the teaching hospital come to check up on him. Then, he realizes.
"Dan."
"Adrian!" Dan sounds appalled. Adrian is half afraid that Dan is about to lecture him. "Why didn't you tell us?" Dan looks so wholly upset that Adrian cannot help laughing at him a little.
"I didn't want you to know." He thinks that should be obvious.
"How long have you been here?"
"A few weeks," Adrian says. He can't remember.
The nurse tsks. "A month and a half." Adrian shrugs. It doesn't matter anymore. "Take your medicine."
"I will, I will," he says mildly. He takes the first mouthful, swallows, makes a face. Dan looks like he is about to cry. "It's all right, you know. I'm going to be fine."
Both the nurse and Dan stare at him. "Adrian, this isn't fine," Dan snaps. "You're dying."
"Everyone is dying, Dan. Life inevitably leads to death. Mine is simply coming a bit sooner than it might have done." He can see it in Dan's face: but I don't want you to die. It's sweet. He reaches out and takes Dan's hand, squeezing it. "Thank you for visiting me." It is final and dismissive, but Dan doesn't take the hint. He sits carefully on the edge of Adrian's bed and stays with him until visiting hours are over. Adrian is touched. Dan hates him for what he did and for causing Rorschach's death, but he is still here.
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Dan comes twice one week. Adrian is confused by it at first. Dan has flowers and a box of chocolates. Adrian smiles at him, mystified. "It's Valentine's Day," Dan explains.
"Shouldn't you be with Laurie?"
"No," Dan says shortly, and Adrian doesn't ask for an explanation. He sets the flowers on Adrian's bedside table. They are pink roses. "Would you like a chocolate?"
"Of course." Adrian doesn't feel like eating sweets very often anymore, but he doesn't want to upset Dan. He picks one from the box, and Dan takes it from his fingers and brings it to Adrian's mouth. His lips close over Dan's fingertips as well. They taste clean and inhuman, and Dan is just a little too slow in taking him away. The hospital staff must have made him wash his hands. Adrian lets the chocolate melt in his mouth. "It was good of you to come."
"I like coming."
Adrian smiles at him. "I know."
Dan holds the hand that doesn't have an IV in it. Adrian wonders if he is going to say it or if Dan thinks that there isn't any point in upsetting him with it. He wants Dan to tell him. It would be a better gift than the roses or the chocolates. "Adrian, I-" he starts, but cannot manage to finish.
Weakly, Adrian squeezes his hand. "I know, Dan. I know."
They sit in silence. Dan leaves at the end of visiting hours.
The next time Dan visits, Adrian drifts in and out of sleep, apologizing when he wakes back up. He doesn't mean to be bad company. Dan tells him it doesn't matter. Adrian is too exhausted to turn away when he realizes that there are tears running down Dan's face. He doesn't want to see him cry. Adrian wants to believe that no one will be affected by his death. There oughtn't to be anyone to mourn him. At some point, he made a mistake. Dan is in love with Adrian, and somewhere in Adrian's twisted mind, that is what's killing him, not the virus coursing through his veins.
Several days later, they tell him that he is going to die.
On his next visit, Adrian is awoken from a dream in which his white blood cell count had risen again and he had been able to leave the hospital and he had had his team of elite scientists create a cure and he had lived happily ever after with- It is the most horrible feeling he has ever had. He looks into Dan's face, and he knows that the doctors have just told Dan. Adrian suspects that they think Dan is Adrian's boyfriend. He doesn't know how to correct their mistake. Dan strokes Adrian's hair and holds his hand, and Adrian curses himself for letting Dan keep visiting. He should have told them not to let him in. It isn't fair to Dan.
He leaves without saying a word.
In between that visit and the next, they are forced to give Adrian a tracheotomy. His doctors are afraid it will open his body to more infections, but they didn't have another option at the time. Adrian can barely speak.
Dan greets Adrian with more cheer than he has seen in him for a while, and Adrian gives him a weak smile. Dan confides in him that Laurie has returned and Adrian tells him that he thinks that's wonderful. His voice is a bare croak. "Adrian, there's something I ought to tell you."
"Oh?" Adrian knows what he is going to say.
"I think I love you."
Adrian manages a weak smile. "Oh, Dan." He bites his lip, but he can't blink them away quickly enough, and soon the tears trickle down his face in uneven rivulets. Adrian is so, so sorry. Dan kisses him, and Adrian can't bring himself to tell Dan that he shouldn't, that he could make Adrian sick, that this kiss could be killing him. Adrian isn't sure he would want to. Later, Dan kisses Adrian's cheek and says goodbye. He'll be back next week. Adrian watches him go.
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I honestly can't describe how I feel about this fic because I loved it and it was brilliant, but it also made me want to cry.
The way you've written it is amazing, how it's centred around Adrian and how he feels, but you've also described how other people (Jon and Dan especially) and the way it was handled by the media and the world ("It is in all the major papers"). Often the shortest sentences you write are the most powerful in that they're shocking and honest, and that's a very interesting technique.
Anyway, although I am not the OP, I thank you very much for writing this. :)
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Anon, do you mind if I link to this on knownidentities?
I mean, write something this good, deal with the consequences.
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If you'd rather fix it and/or post it yourself, de-anoned, that's also cool.
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In spite of myself, I feel compelled to fix it and maybe add to it in places. Expect the director's cut to arrive in a LJ community near you sometime in mid September.
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Oh my god I promise I'm not an elitist asshole, despite how that last sentence sounded. Promise.
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You can be as much of an elitist asshole as you want to be; you have a Rosencrantz icon.
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