...and now for some real words.

[spaghetti016]

Dammit. I hate feeling this way. One minute im happy with everything around me. The next I'm in this shitty mood that just won't quit. The slightest things will change my mood. For example: Being by myself will make me grumpy. It doesn't matter who I'm with, as long as there is someone within 20 feet of me I am content. Then I don't feel alone. Then there are also people who make me feel, well, not alone at all. When I'm by myself I start to think too much. My brain just doesn't turn off. I can't even watch cartoons anymore without seeing each individual frame, hoping I will catch an error. You can blame my college for that. The endless hours of watching Tom and Jerry cartoons in 2-D class will make ya sick, but those are the guys who set the standard for the way animation should be. Cartoons make me feel immature. Same goes for comics. I can't even walk into the comics store anymore without feeling stupid. Wanting to re capture my child hood with old Transformers comics is just gettin rediculous. I'm not doing it anymore. The thinking is also what keeps me awake at night. This also ties in with me not being able to turn my brain off. Damn insomnia. Sometimes even the best threat in the world doesn't work (sorry). Too many if's and if nots running around in my brain. Its not like I can write poetry about it. I'm no writer. Sure I could draw something about it, but too many people will see it in my drawing book. I don't keep that private. People get disappointed if I don't show them. Some people see this as me whining. They tell me its no big deal, but you know what? it is a big deal.

My biggest fear is being five years down the line, opening the door to my home...and there being no one there.......