JubnahathItjtIiirhiimnthrjkns....
Here in all it's strange and slightly gorey (not literally) detail is my random-accumulation of explanations as to why I have every right to be panicking (even more than I am), in a hopefully-coherant ...thing. Spawned by conversations with my mom and sisters today... and my realization that it's technically Tuesday, day 'fore we leave, and I have no idea... about anything. And no one does. And ...yeah. So I figure getting it out somehow would be better than panicking and freaking out inwardly...
"It's only a week long."
A week? A week is a long time. A lot can happen in a week! Packing for a weekend makes me frantic, imagine what four extra days is doing to me! I have no idea what to bring (and "clothes" totally doesn't help, seeing as clothes are the least of my worries), what to put said things IN, as we have two bags between five people, and I could probably fill both of them with my stuff alone...
"What could possibly go wrong?"
Don't. Even. Ask. That.
End of. Just... don't.
"It's not like we've got a specific time we're leaving or anything..."
Um? That actually makes it worse. Not having a deadline but at the same time having a very imminent one is very confusing and doesn't help. At all. If I knew we were leaving at, say, six in the morning, I could spend all day tomorrow packing, go to bed early (or not at all and sleep in the car), and suchlike - knowing ahead of time what I'm doing. This way? I'm sort of going spur of the moment, and I hate that so bad it's nowhere near funny.
"Well no one else's worried about it - calm down!"
...No one else worrying only means I worry more, because someone has to! My grandmother probably won't get my email telling her we are, in fact, coming up there, until day-of or later, and no one's made move to call her and tell her themselves (and I have phone issues and cannot possibly call anyone, ever), my dad doesn't even know if he can go to the thing he's meant to be going to, meaning we're not sure what, exactly, HE's doing (which, he could just stay with Nana too, but... the not-knowing is bad), or what! And no one knows the way yet (they'll pro'lly print off a mapquest map or something last-minute), and mom's going to be driving the whole way (whole other set of worries, that... totally going to end up lost, I swear) in one car, and...argh!
"You just worry too much."
Oh yes. That's it. All me, no one else has anything to do with why I'm upset at all. Nope, in fact it makes it better knowing no one knows anything / is doing anything. Means I can be apathetic and relaxed.
Feel my sarcasm.
(Though I'll admit, maybe I'm taking it a little far - stomach feels like it's bleeding or something, and I haven't even taken my meds for my knee yet (which - under stress, my knees hurt really bad, apparently. This is lovely.), or had too much caffeine or NyQuill or any of that... But still, I have perfectly good reason to worry!)
"All you have to do is pack, and sit in the car we tell you to sit in."
Ah, yes. And what will you be doing, I wonder? Because somehow I doubt even you know right now.
On a lighter note... um. There are many shiny things on my desk.
"It's only a week long."
A week? A week is a long time. A lot can happen in a week! Packing for a weekend makes me frantic, imagine what four extra days is doing to me! I have no idea what to bring (and "clothes" totally doesn't help, seeing as clothes are the least of my worries), what to put said things IN, as we have two bags between five people, and I could probably fill both of them with my stuff alone...
"What could possibly go wrong?"
Don't. Even. Ask. That.
End of. Just... don't.
"It's not like we've got a specific time we're leaving or anything..."
Um? That actually makes it worse. Not having a deadline but at the same time having a very imminent one is very confusing and doesn't help. At all. If I knew we were leaving at, say, six in the morning, I could spend all day tomorrow packing, go to bed early (or not at all and sleep in the car), and suchlike - knowing ahead of time what I'm doing. This way? I'm sort of going spur of the moment, and I hate that so bad it's nowhere near funny.
"Well no one else's worried about it - calm down!"
...No one else worrying only means I worry more, because someone has to! My grandmother probably won't get my email telling her we are, in fact, coming up there, until day-of or later, and no one's made move to call her and tell her themselves (and I have phone issues and cannot possibly call anyone, ever), my dad doesn't even know if he can go to the thing he's meant to be going to, meaning we're not sure what, exactly, HE's doing (which, he could just stay with Nana too, but... the not-knowing is bad), or what! And no one knows the way yet (they'll pro'lly print off a mapquest map or something last-minute), and mom's going to be driving the whole way (whole other set of worries, that... totally going to end up lost, I swear) in one car, and...argh!
"You just worry too much."
Oh yes. That's it. All me, no one else has anything to do with why I'm upset at all. Nope, in fact it makes it better knowing no one knows anything / is doing anything. Means I can be apathetic and relaxed.
Feel my sarcasm.
(Though I'll admit, maybe I'm taking it a little far - stomach feels like it's bleeding or something, and I haven't even taken my meds for my knee yet (which - under stress, my knees hurt really bad, apparently. This is lovely.), or had too much caffeine or NyQuill or any of that... But still, I have perfectly good reason to worry!)
"All you have to do is pack, and sit in the car we tell you to sit in."
Ah, yes. And what will you be doing, I wonder? Because somehow I doubt even you know right now.
On a lighter note... um. There are many shiny things on my desk.